It was roughly 20 years ago when my then girlfriend told me her horror story. She was working the Santa Photo Booth at the local mall when she asked a young couple who had just completed their photos with Santa if they would like they’re pictures on a CD or a floppy dick. We’d been dating since February and she was mortified. I thought it was hilarious and married her 9 years later. Anyone else have a legitimate and funny Freudian Slip? (Freudian Slips are generally sexually based where someone says something with unintended sexual meaning, unlike what most people call Freudian Slips today…).

ETA: Forgot the context, I was at the Santa picture thing tonight with the kids and thought of it, and we laughed.

ETAA: Realized I forgot to say my girlfriend was 18 at the time…

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SigSauerP226,

My auto correct made one. I was doing talk to text with a friend about what winter hat to get the boys for Christmas as they had just started watching hockey with me. She sent me a pic of a hat with the old crossed hatchets or clubs, whatever they are. I responded I don’t know if my young boys would recognize the older symbol, I think they only know Chief Blackhawk.

Which was corrected to Chief Black Cock.

Years ago had my wife Sue and son Jack, along with some friends in the car, pulled up to my house and told them I was going to drop Sue and Jack off. My friend said that is a bit extreme don't you think.

We all had a good laugh!

I unintentionally texted a coworker of mine to "give me a sex". X and C are right next to each other on a keyboard. I think she liked it.

Auto correct got me on a text to my wife once. Was shooting for "I love you" instead sent I'm over you. Her reply was, *I wondered when you'd finally admit it. "

I was at lunch with a female customer last year. We both like to bicycle and she was telling me about the new bike rack she bought for her car. When we left the restaurant she pointed out the new purchase, I just blurted out “nice rack”. We both had a good laugh about it.

In the early days of electronic office communications, since I was the only one in my division familiar with typewriters (ex-journalist), I was tasked with messaging our London office several times daily.

One message was telling them about the impending visit of a new guy from Chicago for some business reason, my message said something like, "a Randy (Last Name) will be there Monday for..." which raised quite the stir among our British colleagues. "Randy" being the British term for "Horny".

I used to work for a software company (now extinct) and was one of three lawyers supporting our region's sales team.

Software sales was a tough business, especially as the dreaded 'end of fiscal quarter' approached. One day, the three of us lawyers were sitting in the break room when one of our top sales folks, an attractive young lady, walked in and announced she had landed some big account.

She told us that she was so happy when the client gave her the news that she burst out "I'm going to give you a Hummer when I get my bonus!"

She had no idea what the alternative meaning was and absolutely mortified when she found out.

Not really a Freudian slip I don't think, but I always reacted like it was. When I had my little side business, people would ask me if I was busy and if I was getting lots of work. One day I responded "well it comes in spurts." And my brain came to a screeching halt. Thinking to myself "Did they hear it the way I did?"
And after that it became like the automated response, as if my brain was playing a joke on me. Every time I was asked the question I said the same thing. "You know, it comes in spurts." ("Ah, I said it again!" Feeling an awkward pause that probably wasn't that long, but like I was waiting for a "That's what she said" type dirty joke response.) And it just kept happening for years. Every time I said it I couldn't believe I said it again.

Autocorrect changes my last name to “degenerate.”

quote:

Originally posted by MelissaDallas:
Autocorrect changes my last name to “degenerate.”

In my mid twenties my girlfriend and I were on a flight to Orlando. She was in the seat next to me but across the aisle. In an elevated volume she asked me if I wanted some Reeses Penis…… She was horrified and hid her face until the embarrassment passed. The several of us who heard her chuckled quietly.

quote:

Originally posted by Calif Phil:
Years ago had my wife Sue and son Jack, along with some friends in the car, pulled up to my house and told them I was going to drop Sue and Jack off. My friend said that is a bit extreme don't you think.

We all had a good laugh!

Do they have Freudian slips in the Victoria's Secret catalog?

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
In my mid twenties my girlfriend and I were on a flight to Orlando. She was in the seat next to me but across the aisle. In an elevated volume she asked me if I wanted some Reeses Penis…… She was horrified and hid her face until the embarrassment passed. The several of us who heard her chuckled quietly.

Haha that’s great! You should have said no and who the fuck is Reese??

Drop Sue and Jack off was hilarious, too.

All of these have given me a chuckle, idk maybe I have a juvenile sense of humor haha.

Like when I wanted to say "Pass the salt" to my wife.
It came out as "You ruined my life you bitch."

Couple of years ago I ways playing around with my new android phone. I was in my facebook group and ready to respond to a members husband sudden passing to give my condolences using the voice to text app. At the same time my wife walked up and had on her phone her nephew who was at the airport going on a trip to Europe that he won at work. My response was " Bon voyage, couldn't of happen to a nicer guy".

Somehow that comment ended up on my phone as a response to the widows husband passing.

I was installing new baseboards in the house and sent my wife to Home Depot for some caulk.

So there she was in her mid to late 40s asking the college aged guy behind the help desk, "Where’s your caulk? My husband say i do it the best."

She said the guy looked visibly flustered and everyone else behind the help desk turned around to look.

Then she realized what she said.