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The silent tragedy affecting today’s children - and how to fix it Login/Join 
Info Guru
Picture of BamaJeepster
posted
I can't argue with anything that this therapist writes in this piece. Very true and it certainly matches what I have seen over the past few years.

https://yourot.com/parenting-c...oing-to-our-children

There is a silent tragedy developing right now, in our homes, and it concerns our most precious jewels - our children. Through my work with hundreds of children and families as an occupational therapist, I have witnessed this tragedy unfolding right in front of my eyes. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! Talk to teachers and professionals who have been working in the field for the last 15 years. You will hear concerns similar to mine. Moreover, in the past 15 years, researchers have been releasing alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in kids’ mental illness, which is now reaching epidemic proportions:

1 in 5 children has mental health problems
43% increase in ADHD
37% increase in teen depression
200% increase in suicide rate in kids 10-14 years old
How much more evidence do we need before we wake up?
No, “increased diagnostics alone” is not the answer!

No, “they all are just born like this” is not the answer!

No, “it is all the school system’s fault” is not the answer!

Yes, as painful as it can be to admit, in many cases, WE, parents, are the answer to many of our kids’ struggles!

It is scientifically proven that the brain has the capacity to rewire itself through the environment. Unfortunately, with the environment and parenting styles that we are providing to our children, we are rewiring their brains in a wrong direction and contributing to their challenges in everyday life.

Yes, there are and always have been children who are born with disabilities and despite their parents’ best efforts to provide them with a well-balanced environment and parenting, their children continue to struggle. These are NOT the children I am talking about here.

I am talking about many others whose challenges are greatly shaped by the environmental factors that parents, with their greatest intentions, provide to their children. As I have seen in my practice, the moment parents change their perspective on parenting, these children change.

What is wrong?
Today’s children are being deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:

Emotionally available parents
Clearly defined limits and guidance
Responsibilities
Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
Movement and outdoors
Creative play, social interaction, opportunities for unstructured times and boredom
Instead, children are being served with:

Digitally distracted parents
Indulgent parents who let kids “Rule the world”
Sense of entitlement rather than responsibility
Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
Sedentary indoor lifestyle
Endless stimulation, technological babysitters, instant gratification, and absence of dull moments

Could anyone imagine that it is possible to raise a healthy generation in such an unhealthy environment? Of course not! There are no shortcuts to parenting, and we can’t trick human nature. As we see, the outcomes are devastating. Our children pay for the loss of well-balanced childhood with their emotional well-being.

How to fix it?
If we want our children to grow into happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and go back to the basics. It is still possible! I know this because hundreds of my clients see positive changes in their kids’ emotional state within weeks (and in some cases, even days) of implementing these recommendations:

Set limits and remember that you are your child’s PARENT, not a friend

Offer kids well-balanced lifestyle filled with what kids NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “No!” to your kids if what they want is not what they need.



Provide nutritious food and limits snacks.
Spend one hour a day in green space: biking, hiking, fishing, watching birds/insects
Have a daily technology-free family dinner.
Play one board game a day. (List of family games)
Involve your child in one chore a day (folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table etc)
Implement consistent sleep routine to ensure that your child gets lots of sleep in a technology-free bedroom
Teach responsibility and independence. Don’t over-protect them from small failures. It trains them the skills needed to overcome greater life’s challenges:

Don’t pack your child’s backpack, don’t carry her backpack, don’t bring to school his forgotten lunch box/agenda, and don’t peel a banana for a 5-year-old child. Teach them the skills rather than do it for them.
Teach delayed gratification and provide opportunities for “boredom” as boredom is the time when creativity awakens:

Don’t feel responsible for being your child’s entertainment crew.
Do not use technology as a cure for boredom.
Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, malls. Use these moments as opportunities to train their brains to function under “boredom”
Help them create a “boredom first aid kit” with activity ideas for “I am bored” times.
Be emotionally available to connect with kids and teach them self-regulation and social skills:

Turn off your phones until kids are in bed to avoid digital distraction.
Become your child’s emotional coach. Teach them to recognize and deal with frustration and anger.
Teach greeting, turn taking, sharing, empathy, table manners, conversation skills,
Connect emotionally - Smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, or crawl with your child.
We must make changes in our kids’ lives before this entire generation of children will be medicated! It is not too late yet, but soon it will be…



“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”
- John Adams
 
Posts: 29408 | Location: In the red hinterlands of Deep Blue VA | Registered: June 29, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fortified with Sleestak
Picture of thunderson
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Yep. Spot on. Add to it - Don't bargain, and don't provide your child with a choice if you yourself are not happy with both options.



I have the heart of a lion.......and a lifetime ban from the Toronto Zoo.- Unknown
 
Posts: 5371 | Location: Shenandoah Valley, VA | Registered: November 05, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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there are teachers out there that should be paid 4 times what they are making.

I hear horrible stories , on a regular basis about what goes on in the public schools.





Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.



Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
 
Posts: 55282 | Location: Henry County , Il | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Info Guru
Picture of BamaJeepster
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quote:
Originally posted by bendable:
there are teachers out there that should be paid 4 times what they are making.

I hear horrible stories , on a regular basis about what goes on in the public schools.


There are parents out there that need to be taken behind the woodshed on a daily basis until they get it.



“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”
- John Adams
 
Posts: 29408 | Location: In the red hinterlands of Deep Blue VA | Registered: June 29, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
1 in 5 children has mental health problems
43% increase in ADHD
37% increase in teen depression
200% increase in suicide rate in kids 10-14 years old
How much more evidence do we need before we wake up?
No, “increased diagnostics alone” is not the answer!



In my opinion there has been a 2000 percent increase in a common mental health condition called PDD, otherwise known as Parent Deficit Disorder.
 
Posts: 17622 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Oriental Redneck
Picture of 12131
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Makes too much sense. Never gonna work in this day and age.


Q






 
Posts: 27956 | Location: TEXAS | Registered: September 04, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Corgis Rock
Picture of Icabod
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quote:
Originally posted by bendable:
there are teachers out there that should be paid 4 times what they are making.

I hear horrible stories , on a regular basis about what goes on in the public schools.


Never mind the pay. What always wanted was a principal that didn't let parents walk all over them. Kids learned quickly to tell their version to their patents. The truth never mattered and administrators would never disagree with a parent.



“ The work of destruction is quick, easy and exhilarating; the work of creation is slow, laborious and dull.
 
Posts: 6066 | Location: Outside Seattle | Registered: November 29, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
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quote:
Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition



But when I go out late at night, to Wal-Mart or the laundromat for example, I'm always seeing kids still up and often running amuck, which illustrates another of the author's points, overindulgent parents.

quote:
1 in 5 children has mental health problems
43% increase in ADHD
37% increase in teen depression

Way over-diagnosed, and for which they prescribe medications. All these do is mask manage symptoms. They don't fix the loose screw, assuming the kid really had one in the first place, not something that discipline could solve. And they can't get off them. If they try, the symptoms return ten-fold. No doubt you've heard the expression "off his/her meds."

quote:
Originally posted by BamaJeepster:

There are parents out there that need to be taken behind the woodshed on a daily basis until they get it.

And made to cut their own switch. For a lot of them it would be the first work they've done in years.
 
Posts: 28901 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of A. Housewife
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Love it.
 
Posts: 72 | Location: KS | Registered: May 05, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Big Stack
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I don't think there are too many people that would argue that what was stated is incorrect (and certainly not here.) But if the issue is the parents, what should and can be done about it at a societal level? I think we got here because society got more self indulgent, and that self indulgence has crept into parenting in any number of ways. So what's going to back that out.

I sure as hell don't know.
 
Posts: 21240 | Registered: November 05, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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