I'd love to have that problem. However, I'd have to learn to drink alcohol first.

flashguy

Mine said to cut the number of drinks per day by half.

At my next appointment she asked how I was doing on that recommendation.

"Great, plus I'm getting my arm in shape lifting a glass three times the size of the old one."

I used to have a drinking problem. Now I make enough money.

Many years ago close to his 100 birthday George Burns was on Johnny Carsons show, and Carson asked what he does these days. George rattled off several things he did everyday including several cigars and drinks of martinis. Carson said that's a lot of that, what does your Doctors say about that? Burns said," nothing they're all dead".

“Don't say you can't give up drinking. It's easy. I've done it a thousand times.” W. C. Fields

quote:

Originally posted by nhtagmember:
I am a member of DAMM - Drunks Against Mad Mothers

I have a family member who belonged to that group when he was in the NH Legislature around 30 years ago. Hadn't heard that term in a long time. They had a clubhouse across from the statehouse.

frank Gallagher approves

I give my doctor a bottle of bourbon each year at Christmas. Cuts down on the conversations about MY vices

People say I got a drinkin' problem. I got no problem drinkin' at all.




Link to original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7f6HiQ2LuU

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem.

Reminds me of the Chief Petty Officer's Creed:

"A Chief Petty Officer never drinks. But if he does drink, he never gets drunk. However, if he should get drunk, he never falls down. If by some chance he should fall down, he lands on his left side so as to hide his rating badge and passers-by will think he's a Junior Officer."

Dear Lord...

-- So far today, God, I have lived my life as you would intend.

-- I haven't lost my temper.

-- So far I have not even grabbed the Chief's Mess Cook by the throat, like yesterday.

-- I have said nothing insulting or humiliating to any of the junior officers.

-- I haven't bitched about the coffee, the ship's schedule, the watch bill or Saturday's Personnel Inspection.

-- I have told no lies...

-- I have not cheated at poker.

-- I have put no ship's tools in my personal toolbox.

-- In short God, I believe that so far today I have committed no grievous sins.

-- Thank you, God, for helping me to stay righteous so far. But Lord, it's almost 0600 and in a little while I'm going to roll out of my bunk and after that I think I will need a lot more help.



Amen...