Why is it that every single time a bag of chips is almost empty and it's down to the last delicious crumbs that are too small to use your fingers on, I think I can simply hold the bag straight, give it a jiggle, and pour the crumbs into my mouth? I end up with a face and lap full of crumbs every damn time.. You'd think I'd learn after all these years, but for some reason, my brain unconsciously tells me to get those tasty crumbs, even though I end up wearing most of them instead of getting them into my mouth every time..

And yes, I am picking the little crumbs off my lap and desk bit by bit and placing them into my mouth.. :-) My dog is going after the ones on the floor..

I don't get it either. The concept of funneling crumbs into one's mouth from a mylar bag seems so straightforward, but it always ends in failure.

It's all about the technique.

1. Make sure bag is fully opened, i.e. pull heat sealed seam apart to creased edge of bag

2. Maintain sharp creased edge, this is the funnel mechanism

3. Using hand hold closed funnel mechanism and tilt and shake bag to stage crumbs close to funnel end

4. Carefully place bottom point of funnel on lower lip,
open mouth wide, and raise opposite end of bag delivering delicious crumbs into mouth

5. Enjoy your mouthful of goodness

As the size of the chips shrink, quantum effects come into play and they begin to repel each other (thus the inability to dump them smoothly out of their bag) and they start to become attracted to opposite polarity objects (thus scattering all over someone’s face). I prefer a scientific explanation versus the alternative of “I’m a klutz!”

quote:

Originally posted by ubelongoutside:
It's all about the technique.

1. Make sure bag is fully opened, i.e. pull heat sealed seam apart to creased edge of bag

2. Maintain sharp creased edge, this is the funnel mechanism

3. Using hand hold closed funnel mechanism and tilt and shake bag to stage crumbs close to funnel end

4. Carefully place bottom point of funnel on lower lip,
open mouth wide, and raise opposite end of bag delivering delicious crumbs into mouth

5. Enjoy your mouthful of goodness

I think the trick is all of that, plus you have to manually crush the last few whole chips to give it some added volume.

Staging the crumbs is CRITICAL.

you can’t just flip Willy-nilly.

If a pair of scissors are available... You could always nip the bottom corner of the bag, thereby creating a traditional funnel.

I like all the focus on the "staging" of the crumbs.

This is becoming High Science

There HAS to be a mathmatical correlation between chip density and the amount of crumbs that will be on your face, i.e., Doritos Ranch vs. Lays Traditional. I think a trip to the store for one of each is going to be required in order to conduct testing...

quote:

Originally posted by shiftyvtec:
If a pair of scissors are available... You could always nip the bottom corner of the bag, thereby creating a traditional funnel.

Here I am living in 2018 and this man is already living in 2318. Why haven’t I thought of this before?

Mix those crumbs with breading for pork chops. Best chops you’ll ever have

That's the answer! I even run a rolling pin over them. Great fried chicken steak!

quote:

Originally posted by shiftyvtec:
I don't get it either. The concept of funneling crumbs into one's mouth from a mylar bag seems so straightforward, but it always ends in failure.

Dump them onto a plate or something.

The eternal optimist

Obvious demonstration of Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, in that where you think you observe the crumbs to be vs where they will be as a predictive theory, changes as your mouth approaches the coordinates you theorize will result in satisfaction.

I suspect that unpleasant reality is a symbolic warning that you have ignore previous signs that 'the end of the bag' is rapidly approaching.

My own experimentation has found better predictive results that separates 'eating' vs 'wearing' the ever smaller chip-dust, by actively dumping into an identified 'final collection vessel' that has a hard corner usable as one side of a hard funnel, such as a small plastic sandwich container, to assist in managing a complex materials handling task.

Such process also formalizes recognition that 'new bag time' status is upon me, as the chips residue are now actually consumed rather than some form of 'chip glitter' worn as evidence of my inept application of the subtleties of small particle charges and gravity.

The crucial end point of this experimental observation demands recognition that 'New Bag Needed' is a reality.

Mom used to dump them over "tuna noodle casserole".

I hate anything made with cream of mushroom soup. The chips could not save the casserole.

You’ve mentioned the top secret ingredient for my eggs.

Scrambled, poached, over medium, any way you like them, crumble 1 or 2 chips, add the crumbs and cook your eggs.

It’s sort of a Migas way.

Enjoy.

quote:

Originally posted by ubelongoutside:
It's all about the technique.

1. Make sure bag is fully opened, i.e. pull heat sealed seam apart to creased edge of bag

2. Maintain sharp creased edge, this is the funnel mechanism

3. Using hand hold closed funnel mechanism and tilt and shake bag to stage crumbs close to funnel end

4. Carefully place bottom point of funnel on lower lip,
open mouth wide, and raise opposite end of bag delivering delicious crumbs into mouth

5. Enjoy your mouthful of goodness

Plus, DO NOT THUMP BAG!

2 slices of bread
jar of peanut butter,
spread peanut butter on one slice, apply chip crumbs to peanut butter, and attach top slice of bread,

eat,

with a tall glass of milk,


esp good with hot potato chip crumbs (Gibbles were the best!)

Try using a canning funnel. .

quote:

Originally posted by lyman:
2 slices of bread
jar of peanut butter,
spread peanut butter on one slice, apply chip crumbs to peanut butter, and attach top slice of bread,

eat,

with a tall glass of milk,


esp good with hot potato chip crumbs (Gibbles were the best!)

As a confirmed Chip-a-holic, I approve the above method.