My 7 yr old daughter is suddenly terrified to sleep at night. The reasons change from being kidnapped, nightmares, scary stuffed animals, random visions to simply I don't know why I am scared. Once she gets scared there is no going back. Trying to calm her down and tucking back into bed only works for a short time. Its either sleep in her bed or she sleeps in ours. She already has numerous night lights and a sound machine in her room.

First I'd make sure she is completely off of any screens unless a parent is monitoring. I would keep her off of all social media. Fun, light, kid oriented tv would be ok but nothing with a dark theme (like so many Disney stories have with a parent that dies etc), and no exposure to news media.

Second, do you have a dog? Letting a dog sleep with her might be helpful.

Third, guidance from an actual child psychologist who's worked with this.

Is she getting enough exercise? Kids that play hard sleep hard.

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Originally posted by pace40:
Is she getting enough exercise? Kids that play hard sleep hard.

That is so true.

I don't have kids, but I remember being unable to sleep at night when I was about her age. I just grew out of it.

The idea of a dog makes a lot of sense, Fly-Sig. Pets are always a good idea, this may be the time for one.

Stressors and anxiety.

Often changes in life, routines or anything that affects her "perception of things being in /out of her control".

It is normal behavior and often seen more in children with higher intelligence, awareness, processing and such.

But it can be unsettling as a parent when it's sudden onset and you don't know what to do.

Their nightmare becomes your daymare. (I made that word up, just meaning you feel as out of control over the situation , too)

Both my girls went through it about the same age, and from their relating it, most of the time they would wake, and typically would be able to go back to sleep, but there were a few times it was: "Guess who's sleeping in our bed?"

I think it is their brains taking on the understanding and becoming aware of things outside of their "safe" original worldview of "home". And there are a lot of things that they are seeing for the first time and relating it to themselves.

If they are getting a lot of information and stimulus of troubling events, that can contribute.

Asking her to tell you about them might help her process her thoughts, and give you insight.

If nothing else, the conversations are one on one time.

I can’t offer much for help, I just wanted to say I hope it’s resolved quickly. I’ll keep your family in my prayers.

I’m sorry to read of this. My son had occasional nightmares and we always let him sleep with us if he was struggling with that. I second the idea of a family pet snuggling up and keeping her safe (proper flea and tick protocols in place, of course).
I will mention that my son had classmates telling him scary stories that built up to this.

Is it possible she's not really afraid to go to sleep but just wants to sleep with you and your wife???? Any traumatic events recently. like a family member or friend dying suddenly? I assume at 7 years old she's in school so possibly something going on at school that's causing her anxiety? Perhaps a visit to a counselor or child psychologist is the next step to figure out what's going on.

My daughter at the same age did the same thing. I don't have any great tips but I made her sleep at the bottom of the bed on the wifes side where there was room, she had to use her own blanket. She got tired of that soon enough

When Tomminator said he was afraid to sleep at night I put in a blue lamp in his lamp. The blue is for police and keeps the bad guys away.

Simple as that

This is one of those FWIW responses. I’ve got a 6 YO granddaughter who was having nightmares. I had a dream catcher that I bought from an Oglala couple on the Pine Ridge Reservation. I gave it to her around Christmas time and explained the story of dream catchers and how they work. She’s sleeping much better. Sure it’s psychological, but believing is probably key to its function.

My oldest son was afraid of wolves at bedtime for a while as a kid. I think it was from that wolf scene in the old animated Beauty and the Beast movie where the wolves are chasing the dad and the horse. There are no wolves within 500 miles of where we live. I told him that and it didn't help. I also told him if a wolf came in our house I'd shoot it, and I gave him a toy gun. That seemed to help a little...at least enough that he stayed in bed and stopped coming downstairs. Eventually he grew out of it completely.

A bat got in my daughter's room one time through the attic access (they heard something in there and my wife opened it ). She was freaked out for a bit, but eventually we turned it into a game. Every night before bed she'd go knock on the attic door and say "good night, bat!" Once she started doing that, she slept fine. I think it was because she'd acknowledged it (even thought it was long gone at that point) and directly confronted it in her way.

I remember as a kid I had nightmares about Nazis, probably until far older than I should have. Somebody made me watch the Diary of Anne Frank, and up until that point I'd always been supremely confident that my dad could fight off anything that tried to mess with me, but when I saw that whole family get captured and shipped off to camps it kinda struck me that even my dad couldn't fight off a whole army of Nazis. Probably didn't help that we lived in Europe and had visited several camps, too. I'm glad now that I had the opportunity to see and understand the scale of that stuff, but it was tough as a kid.

Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on in a kid's head, or what they're going to take away from something they saw or experienced. I've always found it's best to try to understand what the fear is and where it came from, and then you can help them confront and address it.

Damn, its been 30+ years since my son was that age so I have nothing to contribute other than I hope you can figure out what has got her upset.

Maybe read to her (or with her) like when she was younger? Maybe a board game or card game for a half hour or so prior to bed time.

When my wife’s niece was about that age her dad gave her a big ol’ sheath knife to keep in her bed. I think now that might have been to use to fight off the boogeyman. This was around 35 years ago when they lived on a ranch near Kerrville in central Texas.

On friday she was off school and went to the trampoline park which should have tired her out. She slept until about 5am. When I was leaving for work I heard her door open upstairs and she went into our bed.

Yesterday she went to two seperate birthdays parties and played a good bit so she should have been tired. She would not even let my wife leave her bedroom and was already shaking.

We read a book every night before bed and even let her come into our room for a while to settle down. Nothing works and she is not even willing to try anything new. I offer different ideas of things to change. More lights, less lights, door open, door closed, different sound machine noise, sleep in the spare bedroom, sleep in your younger sisters room. All ideas are an instant no.

Against my better judgement I was debating putting a TV in her room and letting her watch a show with a sleep timer set, hoping she will fall asleep. Maybe I'll get the air matress out and she can sleep on the floor in our room.

Security issues. Sleeping in your bed should be avoided at all costs. Start with a pallet on the floor in your room and gradually go from there. This is pretty common behavior at her age.

Screen time and exercise. Limit one, encourage the other.

Anxiety is complicated; and I don't mean to sound flippant. It's real, and kids react differently.

Talk to her, and take it seriously. Remind her that Mom and dad are here in the same house to keep her safe. I went through completely irrational night terrors as a kid, and I assure you, it's no fun. If I watched a tv show about bigfoot, or the loch ness monster, or aliens or some other stupid thing, and I couldn't sleep until exhaustion overcame fear. If my closet door wasn't closed, sleep wasn't happening. As I say, completely irrational, but in the mind of a 7 year old, fuck it, monsters are real.

If it doesn't resolve soon, talk to her pediatrician, and get real advice.

quote:

Originally posted by c1steve:

quote:

Originally posted by pace40:
Is she getting enough exercise? Kids that play hard sleep hard.

That is so true.

WRONG!!!!!!!!!
My three boys are some of the most active kids on the planet.
NONE of them sleep well.