Question for all the brains on SF re: Jokes

January 23, 2018, 08:58 PM

12131

Are there any jokes on earth that y'all have not heard of? It seems to me anytime someone posts a joke, invariably someone else already knew about it.

So, can we ban all the joke threads?

January 23, 2018, 09:03 PM

MitchbSC

Well. For one. I am still waiting on the punchline for: "Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says..."

Unfinished because, in the movie, the ceiling gives way ...

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

_{"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא עוד}

January 23, 2018, 09:33 PM

Rey HRH

I have a joke that I doubt anyone here has heard or remember.

What's the difference between the original version of The Wizard of Oz and the Chinese version?

I don't remember jokes but this one I do because of a particular reason I think.

ETA: But this being SigForum, I wouldn't be surprised if someone knows the answer.

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.

January 23, 2018, 09:38 PM

justjoe

quote:
Originally posted by MitchbSC:
Well. For one. I am still waiting on the punchline for: "Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says..."

Unfinished because, in the movie, the ceiling gives way ...

"Not for me, no, but the poodle is going to need a scotch double."

______________________________________________________

"You get much farther with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone."

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

What man is a man that does not make the world better. -Balian of Ibelin

Only boring people get bored. - Ruth Burke

January 23, 2018, 10:13 PM

sigmonkey

quote:
Originally posted by Rey HRH:...
What's the difference between the original version of The Wizard of Oz and the Chinese version?
...

Well some of the scenes were different.

The Munchkins Wok the dog.

Frying monkeys.

Tinman made of lead.

_{"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא עוד}

Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys

343 - Never Forget

Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat

There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive.

_{"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא עוד}

January 23, 2018, 10:18 PM

KMitch200

quote:
Originally posted by Deqlyn:
Heres one:
A Midget walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass...

I used to be 6'3"!

--------
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

January 24, 2018, 06:09 AM

egregore

quote:
It seems to me anytime someone posts a joke, invariably someone else already knew about it.

No single person at a given time has heard every joke out there. An old joke can be funny if delivered the right way, or maybe there is one you heard many years ago but had forgotten.

"The Almighty, He put some livin' things on this earth so a man can eat." - Festus Haggen, Gunsmoke

January 24, 2018, 06:19 AM

12131

quote:
Originally posted by egregore:
quote:
It seems to me anytime someone posts a joke, invariably someone else already knew about it.

No single person at a given time has heard every joke out there. An old joke can be funny if delivered the right way, or maybe there is one you heard many years ago but had forgotten.

Oh, gee, here comes Mr. So Serious.

Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.

When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson

"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown

January 24, 2018, 07:04 AM

V-Tail

quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
quote:
Originally posted by JJexp:
How many pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?
123x

Bad monkey! No banana for you.

הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye". The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, pilot and author, lost on mission, July 1944, Med Theatre.

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