From our retirees association...

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them.

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.(Sir Winston Churchill loved them).

*Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
*The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...but it's still on my list.
*Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
*If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
*We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
*War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
*Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
*To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
*I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
*In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify..."
*Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
*You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
*I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
*To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
*Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
*You're never too old to learn something stupid.
*I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me.

and I have an addition to the tomato one...

Philosophy is asking if ketchup is technically a smoothie

Stolen! :thumbsup:

This one I don’t get

*In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify..."

quote:

Originally posted by P210:
This one I don’t get

*In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify..."

Maybe your old enough to have nobody to notify

She may be overweight but at least her boobs are small.

Stolen from Yogi Bera...
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

"She turned me into a newt, but I got better."

It may not be very big around, but it sure is short!

After the quarantine, I am going to get in shape; no wait, round is a shape...