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The Unmanned Writer |
What deep things retired men think.... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. Finally, I pondered an age old question: "Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?" Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer and then, maybe a nap. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they go" Will Rogers The definition of the words we used, carry a meaning of their own... | ||
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| Member |
That is profound in its sense. Excellent thought. | |||
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Member |
Something else might be going on that would make them say something like that. For example, even after decades of marriage, I think my wife would still say I'd do it again.  Some things they say are just unexplainable. "Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy "A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book | |||
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| No Compromise |
"I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex." -Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy H&K-Guy | |||
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Unhyphenated American |
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a beer along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?" And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather." I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil." And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad". I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?" He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, but for now, I have to finish your lawn." __________________________________________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. Richard M Nixon It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice. Billy Joe Shaver NRA Life Member | |||
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| I believe in the principle of Due Process  |
A year after giving birth, she'll kick you in the nuts Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me. When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown | |||
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| Conservative Behind Enemy Lines  |
Would any man agree to a severe kick to the nuts if it meant bringing a child into the world? | |||
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Member |
Seems like that would have the opposite effect... ———- Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for thou art crunchy and taste good with catsup. | |||
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| 10mm is The Boom of Doom  |
Women are designed by God (or nature) to give birth. My nuts are not designed to be kicked. God Bless and Protect the Once and Future President, Donald John Trump. | |||
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Ammoholic |
Stolen.  Jesse Sic Semper Tyrannis | |||
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Member |
Can't argue with that logic. Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. “If in winning a race, you lose the respect of your fellow competitors, then you have won nothing” - Paul Elvstrom "The Great Dane" 1928 - 2016 | |||
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Waiting for Hachiko |
You need to sit far away in the yard, maybe in a swing, drinking that beer and listening to the birds sing, and the mosqitoes buzz by. Still think the heavy things men think, but your only distraction will be smacking the mosquitoes. 美しい犬 | |||
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Member |
The collective wisdom of the great Sigforum knows no bounds. The OP's logic is flawless. Brilliant actually. I need to retire and buy more beer. Lover of the US Constitution Wile E. Coyote School of DIY Disaster | |||
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Member |
What brand of beer were you drinking when you arrived at your conclusion? ______________________________________________ Life is short. It’s shorter with the wrong gun… | |||
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Member |
I agree with the OP, but not sure these guys do  | |||
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His Royal Hiney |
Quite logical, sir! "It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946. | |||
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Happily Retired |
I can find no fault whatsoever with the OP's logic. .....never marry a woman who is mean to your waitress. | |||
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| Three Generations of Service  |
Floyd, I can't BELIEVE I didn't see that coming! ROFFLEMAO! Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. | |||
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chillin out |
You are a true zen master of deep thought. I practice Shinrin-yoku It's better to wear out than rust out Member NRA Member Georgia Carry | |||
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