My dad went in 2011, my mother in 2019. It hasn't got any easier for me.

My mother died many years ago, and I still want to call her and talk with her. She was my best girlfriend!!

I lost both my parents over 10 years ago. So far, it hasn't gotten any easier.

Not really. The pain is not as much.

I lost my mom almost 11 years ago. Some days it feels like it just happened, Some days it seems like it happened a 100 years ago.

She was 75. She was fairly active, still worked, as and activities director at a nursing home.

She had some health issues, but she passed away suddenly.

I find myself missing her in some mundane things, like after a bad day at work. She always had away of making it better.

ARman

My comfort is that I still have voicemails that my mother left me.

Unfortunately, my dad was not a mobile phone user so I do not have any from him.

Sometimes, I just play one or two of hers.

quote:

Originally posted by Pyker:
My comfort is that I still have voicemails that my mother left me.

Unfortunately, my dad was not a mobile phone user so I do not have any from him.

Sometimes, I just play one or two of hers.

Last year I played a VM of her wishing me a Happy Birthday. This year I couldn’t.

I appreciate everybody’s insight. It means a lot to hear how everyone deals with their loss. I never imagined that my heart would physically ache the way it does when I think of her.

Hopefully, everyone’s posts helps others as it has helped me. I can try the reason/logic but it never seems to align with the feelings/emotions.

Thank you!

As wiser people than me have said, the blinding pain will lessen oh, so slowly. A few times a day though, I remember some little thing or another that makes me feel kinda close. I am thankful for that, and try to feel grateful.

I lost my mother in 2014 and my stepfather in 2017 (a good man married to my mother for 33 years who always treated me as if I was his own flesh and blood). For me, I often wish I could talk with them about events in my life. or ask their opinion on decisions I have to make. That feeling has not lessened.

WJR

quote:

I often wish I could talk with them about events in my life. or ask their opinion on decisions I have to make

I would call my dad and often ask his advice on decisions regarding money as he was a banker. Now I have no one to ask and it was a shock to realize 'you're on your own now!'. So now, I try and think what he would have done, and incorporate it into my decision making.

My mother was the family historian, she kept a diary every day of her life. I could call her and ask her anything regarding family events and she would have the answer. It was great.

She passed last July. In a word no. I think I'll be in a much better place with it when her estate is closed and settled. I am the only sibling still in the same town so it all fell to me. The lawyer said the most difficult thing will be clearing out the house. Ya, he was full of shit in this regard.

quote:

The lawyer said the most difficult thing will be clearing out the house. Ya, he was full of shit in this regard.

When my mother died, my brother and I cleared the house out, ready to go on the market.

After we'd done, I went back and just sat in there, on the staircase for an hour. Man, those walls and rooms were full of memories. When I left, and locked the door, it was like closing a book on a part of my life. I had to wait a few minutes before I could see to drive away.

My mother is still alive however I lost my father last year.

Every so often when I was working on a project or repairing something I think to my self "my father could help me out on the best way to do this" and he did.
He would come over and lend a hand. He helped me renovate, or I should say I helped him renovate our first home. He knew how to build things.
He did this for years. He would help anyone,family,friends,neighbors and sometime even total strangers.

He should have been an engineer, he was that smart and could build something we needed to do a project out of spare parts he had laying around in his garage.

When we moved 1000 miles away I could always call him for advice.

I truly do miss him and over time it might get easier but right now it is still tough.

Still got my mom but lost my little sister 7 years ago. It never gets easy.

The empty space in your heart will always exist. The daily pain has seemed to lessen a small bit.

quote:

Originally posted by Billythekids:
Still got my mom but lost my little sister 7 years ago. It never gets easy.

I lost my baby sister 2 years before losing our mom. Sister was 45 and mom 88. I was present for both deaths. It was hard. I don't think one ever gets over it, but it becomes less pressing.

flashguy

I was there for both Mom and Dad passing. Glad I was so I could give them a hug. I still relive their waning moments. I have a tendency to remember the values they taught me and feel very grateful for the wisdom they imparted to me. I do find it easier to accept the circle of life now but I still wish both were here.

My parents both passed on in 1991 'bout eight days apart. I was 37 at the time, and remember feeling that this must be similar to how an orphan felt. Time eases the pain after awhile.

quote:

Originally posted by Pyker:
My comfort is that I still have voicemails that my mother left me.

Unfortunately, my dad was not a mobile phone user so I do not have any from him.

Sometimes, I just play one or two of hers.

My parents where not into the digital world, but I have two hand written notes from my Mom, that although are meaningless in their content, I cherish because it's in her hand. It always makes me pause when looking through my saved papers I see these notes.

quote:

Originally posted by Pyker:
My mother was the family historian, she kept a diary every day of her life. I could call her and ask her anything regarding family events and she would have the answer. It was great.

My mother was my connection to so much family history as well particularly regarding my grandparents and great grandparents. While my stepfather was alive, some of that history and the connection to memories was comforting. Once he passed, it was a harsh reality that I had lost the last bridge back to my mom.

WJR

Eventually it does. I lost my father when he was 56, I was 27. It didn't help that he passed away on 4th of July. For at least a decade various dates, were just like the first year......it took about a decade and then started getting easier.