Catholic or not, a rosary for the rear view mirror is a must—-just in case.

I wish you the very best in this, Dave.

My son is rounding out his first year of driving and turns 17 in August. I made a point to have him at the DMV at the exact dates for his permit, etc., to get him his license on his 16th birthday (I was 17 when I finally got mine). He has done exceptionally well, but I believe it is because of the prep work we did first.

I’m going to repeat what at least one other poster said—find the best driver training aimed at teens and/or defensive driving that you can afford.

I am a driving instructor for law enforcement and driving safety is one of the most important things to me. I have driven well over a million miles in my life without any serious crashes (sounds like a lot, but nothing compared to a truck driver or other professional driver). After over 20 years of EMS and law enforcement, the idea of my kids dying or being maimed in a crash terrify me. One of my coworkers recently had his adult daughter get into a crash and she will never be able to care for herself again. It terrifies me. My children (17 and 13) are absolutely the most precious things in my entire world.

So I set out focused on two things as my priority with my son: 1. Learning to be a defensive driver and how to plan to avoid accidents; and 2. Driving a safe and reliable vehicle. Specifically in that order.

We as a country have a mindset of “Everyone will probably get into a wreck, better put them in the safest vehicle I can”, and it is the wrong mindset. I want my son’s mindset to be “If I pay attention and drive defensively, anticipating a crash before it happens, I can most likely avoid it”. Should that fail, he is driving a 2020 Honda Civic with safety features. But against a large SUV or truck, it won’t matter much. Avoiding the crash to begin with is the goal.

My son has driven several thousand miles at this point, with a few 2-3 hour interstate drives mixed in. But the vast majority of it has been in a congested metropolitan area of a million people with about one crash death a day. He has learned the importance of leaving early and planning/knowing his route, as well as understanding the limits of his vehicle and driving defensively. I believe that the money I spent on the driving program we did (it was a 2-day class with a parent and child learning in different classes/tracks then together) is the best money I have ever spent with the exception of the mint I dropped on attorneys in our custody adventure.

One other thing I would always recommend—buy the best tires for their vehicle that you can afford. When you are spending $1,000 for a set of tires, and the next best is $200 more…that $200 may make the difference in their safety when they are trying to avoid a crash. I always consider that when I am budgeting for tires for his vehicle.

Oh..and your insurance is probably about to double. Not much you can do about that, it sucks. I’d get an umbrella policy if you don’t have one…but it’s going to be stupid expensive too.

Best of luck with it all, it is an experience of freedom as well as terror as a parent!


Edit: I thought of 2 other things—

Made my son do 100 hours of driving with me during his permit time, versus the 60 hours that was required, which I expect most parents fake anyway.

And when you look at vehicles to buy, others have said it, but let me restate it, the insurance cost between two different vehicles can be twice the price, and it surprised me which ones they valued more. I highly recommend checking with your insurance company specifically before buying a vehicle. And I found that if you don’t specify what vehicle he’s going to be using, they will conveniently automatically assign him to the most expensive one on the policy…

I have a 33yo and a 22yo driving now and neither has been in a serious accident yet...one is in Sherman Oaks and the other in in Irvine; so LA traffic

While I did take them out to practice, I got them both formal driving lessons with professional trainers...and think it was well worth the money.

My 33yo didn't have any interest in driving until he was 20, but my 22yo wanted her learners permit at 15.5. I got her an older Mercedes C-class based on both passive safety and active safety considerations...built strong, but agile enough to avoid things.

I'd personally avoid both the Bronco and the 4Runner. The Bronco isn't that well built. The 4Runner is a really old design, isn't very ergonomic, and doesn't drive well at all

Of your listed choices, I'd go with the RAV4, but I think a Mazda CX-5 would be a better choice

Tacos are great, but stupid expensive, at least for the V6, 5 speed manual, 4x4 extracab. My first thought would be to see what pricing is like on a four cylinder manual transmission standard cab. If they’re reasonable, it would be a decent starter truck.

There is something to the heavier vehicle theory, but it is a two edged sword. While someone in a heavier vehicle is likely safer themselves, they pose a greater risk to those around them in a collision.

If you have access to any place where he can drive that isn’t a public road, that’s really helpful. Our kids started driving on the ranch a lot younger and got a good feel for the cars so when it was time for driver’s training they only had to learn rules of the road and how to look out for other drivers. It was comforting when at 12 my daughter was slowing down without prompting prior to making turns off the main road.

Prior to instructing your child studying up on PTSD. Along with the Saint Christopher's medal you should be OK.

We bought our son a Honda Accord Sport with a 6 speed manual. He had been driving our Mazda 6 with auto for a year and then he wanted a stick shift.

He was 17 then and the Honda had 26k on the odometer. The owner was being deployed and could not sell it as nobody could drive a 6 speed. We got it for cheap and he’s accident free/ticket free now at 24 years of age. 90k on the odo now.

None of his friends or girlfriends ever drove it due to that manual transmission.

My observation is often that some offsprung when given vehicles free of charge end up destroying them, hopefully without hurting other drivers. It's amazing how how that works, basic psychology 101 of sorts. There's a lots to be said for having skin in the game. I'm sure there are other young people who are not like that however.