My Step-Father is 93 and mom is 83. We moved them from their home 3.0 acres in a nice Cincinnati suburb, to an independent living facility today. It is a really nice place and I think they will be happy there.

Step-dad is healthy, but he is 93. Mom has recovered from a broken femur and it has been an uphill struggle. She is still using a walker, but may move to a cane soon.

They married in 1982 and I consider myself lucky to still have them (my Dad died in 1979, when I was 17), so my Step-dad has been a big part of my life.

They both have very positive attitudes and were happy to make the move. Their new apartment is 2 miles from their home and 400 yards from where my Step-dad grew up.

It was more emotional for me than I thought it would be, while packing the boxes and furniture. Lots of really good memories in that home.

I guess it is just that this represents the next phase of their lives, and ours as their children.

Anyone else move their parents recently?

Not recently but one of my mom's comments shortly after the move wsss that she ssished she'd done it sooner. The advantages were regular healthy meals and social interaction with other residents.

Femur break at 80+ yikes, that's rough.

My parents aren't too far away from this situation. Dad thinks he's gonna die in his own house...never mind they live in an area that has four seasons, on a fixed income and physical labor continues to be more labor and less productive each passing year. The Conversation is nearing, gonna have to emotionally get ready for it and keep things pragmatic and understanding.

Pops is 75. Wife is somewhere around there.
They have been looking at shitholes in shit neighborhoods. Could buy a place for the same price that isn’t a shithole. Like seriously, they’re looking at condos in a no driveway, wicked monthly dues for fuckol.
Could buy the same size place on a little more property, with less monthly payments for the same damn price.
It’s about time I think I “guide” them.
My oldest sister is on board.
My second oldest sister wishes to suck them dry.
I’m happy your journey was bittersweet.

I went through that decision and moving process with my mom 4 years ago. Not an easy task logistically or emotionally even though it was best for everyone to move her closer to us. Best of luck and prayers for all as your parents make the mental transition to this new way of living. There will be adjustments for everyone to make.

From what you've shared, I highly recommend you start planning for their next move to assisted living or some other option.

Couple years ago we (mostly I) moved my MIL out of her home in the 'hood in the south suburbs of Chicago into a senior apartment. We drove the 18 hours up from Chicago, rented a Uhaul and I did most of the moving. Wife had a couple who helped, wife's sister helped a little bit.

Tried to convince the MIL to move for years. Home was aged, neighborhood was awful (bunch of working age males hanging out outside all times of day) and she admitted she didn't feel safe except when we were home to visit. Probably felt safe because when we came home we brought the dogs (one a pit bull) and at least 2 guns.

Then she said, "I like this, I should've done this years ago!" LOL

quote:

Originally posted by Edmond:
Couple years ago we (mostly I) moved my MIL out of her home in the 'hood in the south suburbs of Chicago into a senior apartment. We drove the 18 hours up from Chicago, rented a Uhaul and I did most of the moving. Wife had a couple who helped, wife's sister helped a little bit.

Tried to convince the MIL to move for years. Home was aged, neighborhood was awful (bunch of working age males hanging out outside all times of day) and she admitted she didn't feel safe except when we were home to visit. Probably felt safe because when we came home we brought the dogs (one a pit bull) and at least 2 guns.

Then she said, "I like this, I should've done this years ago!" LOL

That’s where I’m at. Pops spends all his time and energy tending to an acre of property. While it keeps him in shape, he needs a lot less land and some time to relax.

I’m not one to take away pops work, but he needs to do something other than continuously remodeling his Home.

My MIL moved in with us a few months ago. We helped her sell her condo and moved her into the lower level of our home.

She is in her early 80’s and only lived a few blocks away but we were getting concerned having her live by herself.

She has her own living area, bedroom and bath and we removed the tub from her bathroom and installed a walk-in shower so it’s easier to bathe.

She loves our dogs and they love her. They both run down to check on her in the morning.

She seems very happy and we’re glad to have her here.

Seems like this used to be much more common than it is today.

quote:

Originally posted by Tailhook 84:
I went through that decision and moving process with my mom 4 years ago. Not an easy task logistically or emotionally even though it was best for everyone to move her closer to us. Best of luck and prayers for all as your parents make the mental transition to this new way of living. There will be adjustments for everyone to make.

From what you've shared, I highly recommend you start planning for their next move to assisted living or some other option.

Where they have moved, there are several different levels of care available, as their needs change.

quote:

Originally posted by OldMick:
My MIL moved in with us a few months ago. We helped her sell her condo and moved her into the lower level of our home.

She is in her early 80’s and only lived a few blocks away but we were getting concerned having her live by herself.

She has her own living area, bedroom and bath and we removed the tub from her bathroom and installed a walk-in shower so it’s easier to bathe.

She loves our dogs and they love her. They both run down to check on her in the morning.

She seems very happy and we’re glad to have her here.

Seems like this used to be much more common than it is today.

My MIL lived with us for 13 years. It just worked out better, as she did not drive. Where my parents live, they are in the heart of Madeira (a little town), where they can walk to or have a car service take them to everything they need.

Not yet, but so far my parents have been smart to slowly downsize themselves.

My Grandmother died 3 years ago (Dad's mother), they and the Aunts & Uncles spent several months cleaning out her house, selling / gifting / throwing away stuff, and then selling the house. It was a 2-story house and Grandma hadn't been upstairs in several decades. There was junk / stuff from my Grandfather still around in closets, etc - and he died over 30 years ago. It was quite an undertaking for them all.

After that, my parents went through their 2 story condo and systematically cleared out tons of stuff, gave us kids the option to get our old toys / books / junk or have it thrown away, etc. Then they moved to a single story condo, knowing that eventually it may help.

I think they are a good bit away from needing assisted care (fingers crossed) but since they've planned ahead, it would be relatively painless (they no longer live where I grew up, so no emotional attachment to their condo or area).

In the first week of July 2019, I helped my parents shut down the house in Columbus OH and move to their new place in Fruitland Park FL.

It was bittersweet. I kept my bedroom suit, the living room and other items which are still in a storage unit on the west side of Cols, OH.

We moved to that house in the fall of 1989, so it was full to the gills. My parents downsized over a period of two years before they decided to sell the house.

They are now in a housing development that is 55 years and older. Even though I was upset they sold the house, I was worried because they never did anything and their friends never came around.
Now that they are in Florida they are on the go five or six days a week and their new friends are always around and checking on each other.

I went down in May for a couple of days. Well one morning my dad did not go fishing like his usual protocol. Well the other guys got worried and came to check on him. (We went out to breakfast).

It gives me comfort that there are people close by if they ever need anything.

great for you and them !

89% of old people want to fight bite and scratch to stay in a house , regardless of their medical needs or physical limitations.

Consider buying them something special to make their re adjustment a pleasant one.

a little something to congratulate them on a decision well made

My Dad came to live with us last year. He turned 89 a couple weeks ago.

He sold his house in 2017, and moved to an apartment. He was quite bored and lonely there. My brother and I were going up 2-3 times a week between us. March 2018 he got hit with flu that turned to pneumonia and ended up being hospitalized for a few days.

We decided when his lease was up, he would come live with us.

It has worked out better than any of us expected, my wife and I really enjoy having him here.

This month.

I was over hanging the heaviest mirrors and two grab bars. Chiseled and shaved door stop on the bathroom door jamb so the grab bar sits fully on the jamb. Told dad management might ding him when he moves out and he said that he did not think it would be his problem.

It is nicer than my house and very convenient to my sister and her kids.

My folks are still in their house, but it's looming in some ways. The stairs will be the problem. I'm lucky to have my oldest brother living next door. He does a lot for them. I help a little on special projects.

quote:

Originally posted by P-220:
Anyone else move their parents recently?

My folks, both 94 sold our family home back East bought way back in the very early '50s and moved into an independent living facility apartment last year about a mile away. The place is new and kiddingly referred to as the "resort." Dinning room food is quite good from all accounts.

Biggest hassle involved all their "stuff." My baby sister who lived close by took on that arm wrestling task of what to sell, donate, and keep.

The trauma is long over and everyone says they're happy with the change.

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
Not yet, but so far my parents have been smart to slowly downsize themselves.

My Grandmother died 3 years ago (Dad's mother), they and the Aunts & Uncles spent several months cleaning out her house, selling / gifting / throwing away stuff, and then selling the house. It was a 2-story house and Grandma hadn't been upstairs in several decades. There was junk / stuff from my Grandfather still around in closets, etc - and he died over 30 years ago. It was quite an undertaking for them all.

After that, my parents went through their 2 story condo and systematically cleared out tons of stuff, gave us kids the option to get our old toys / books / junk or have it thrown away, etc. Then they moved to a single story condo, knowing that eventually it may help.

I think they are a good bit away from needing assisted care (fingers crossed) but since they've planned ahead, it would be relatively painless (they no longer live where I grew up, so no emotional attachment to their condo or area).

The accumalation of "stuff" is something everyone should regularly practice "disposal" of while they are physically able.

It is a constant battle with my wife, who is a "keeper of stuff". I am not.

Once every 6 months, I have a cleanout of stuff I don't need or use.

I realize some things are meant to be keep.

Itis a huge burden on thise who have to deal with sorting stuff out due to deaths, moving, etc, and a lot of good things are thrown away, simply because the people cleaning out want to get rid of it fast or don't know the best way to do it.

Nice, that’s a good scenario.
My company does this processed multiple times a year to include full dispersal of house hold items the family does not want.

It can be very complex. Happy to hear of a smooth transition.