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A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by parabellum:
Armed monkeys, I don't know.

A taser seems like a bad idea. I don't care how well they're trained- they're too much like us and they might just go off, climbing on the light fixtures and whatnot, doin' all that damn screeching and shit.

How'd you like to have a spastic monkey firing tasers at you from your chandelier? It's not an attractive proposition.


(tears up resume...)




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" I could explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
 
Posts: 43336 | Location: ...... I am thrice divorced, and I live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!  | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Only the strong survive
Picture of 41
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by jbcummings:
I started having AFib about that time as well, so I guess I just tried to eat my way out of the depression of it all.


I was taking Life Extension magnesium and switched to Dr. Sinatra's magnesium and the AFIB went away.

https://www.healthydirections....oad-spectrum-complex

https://www.healthydirections....ntial-for-your-heart


41
 
Posts: 11398 | Location: Herndon, VA | Registered: June 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Told cops where to go for over 29 years…
Picture of 911Boss
posted Hide Post
I might be interested but need more info on compensation package and working conditions.

Live in position or shift based?
Travel pay?
Per diem?
I can provide glowing reference for my weight loss method with real world proven results.






What part of "...Shall not be infringed" don't you understand???


 
Posts: 10301 | Location: Western WA state for just a few more years... | Registered: February 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
posted Hide Post
If you're an incorrigible case, we might need to break out the big gun, the king of the donut slappers.

 
Posts: 25964 | Location: Johnson City/Elizabethton, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Well, if donuts aren’t taxable income and the pizza isn’t Red Baron or Tombstone quality… we may be able to work something out. I don’t take up much room, yet.
 
Posts: 871 | Registered: December 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
W07VH5
posted Hide Post
Did you ever see Cracking Up? Jerry Lewis hired Dick Butkus to help him stop smoking. Every time Jerry would light up, Butkus would show up and lay him out with a punch to the face.

It was funny to us kids to see Jerry get his jaw shattered.

Imdb lists Dick Budkus as "Anti-Smoking Enforcer". This is the only Jerry Lewis movie I could possibly ever almost suggest to anyone.

Oh, found it on le tube (skip to 1:03):
 
Posts: 43923 | Location: Pennsyltucky | Registered: December 05, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Don't Panic
Picture of joel9507
posted Hide Post
I found a trick to staying sober doing evening business activities in Japan, that might be adaptable in a way.

Background ======
Business discussions in Japan often happen after working hours. Alcohol flows like water when doing business in Japan, and keeps flowing till the wee hours. And the venues are kept warm/hot and serve salty snacks.

Too many headaches.

There are certain drinks I despised (and still do, for that matter) and I changed my policy to only ordering those. I'd get thirsty, take a sip, and get an instant reminder of what the deal was. Drink but stay sober. Meant I kept my wits about me into the evening and had no morning-after effects.
End background======

Maybe use that strategy, and only buy snacks you hate? Pickle-and-relish donuts, lutefisk-chips, e.g. Well, maybe something more real but the point is you probably have flavors you despise - maybe stock up on those and get rid of everything else?

At least there'd be no monkey-chandelier action and no tazers.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: joel9507,
 
Posts: 14462 | Location: North Carolina | Registered: October 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Dang it, now I want one too!!
 
Posts: 447 | Registered: February 14, 2016Reply With QuoteReport This Post
quarter MOA visionary
Picture of smschulz
posted Hide Post
You don't need a donut slapper - you need to go Keto BootCamp and let the Sgt. get your mind right. Smile
 
Posts: 20767 | Location: Houston, TX | Registered: June 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No, not like
Bill Clinton
Picture of BigSwede
posted Hide Post
I could add you to my Life360 app.

https://www.life360.com/lp-v2/...Z2UeiIIaAuUXEALw_wcB

It will alert me when you get anywhere near a Krispy Kreme. I can call, message or show up and call you a fat slob, gut wagon, dunlap, rhino rump, fat pos, slug, fat fuck and a gd commie

Or just some encouraging words if that would do it for you


I rarely eat wheat products, potatoes, rice or sweets etc. not a full blown Keto but low carb. Been doing it for about a year, didn't really lose much weight but I'm not bloated all the time anymore, acid reflux pretty much gone and the gas is minimal compared to what it was which makes the wife happy


*********************
“I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.”
 
Posts: 4469 | Location: GA | Registered: September 23, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Knows too little
about too much
Picture of rduckwor
posted Hide Post
I packed on a good 25 pounds during the commie Covid crap period and I got pissed off and decided I WOULD NOT buy bigger clothes. Tried a diet, but I just am too damn weak-willed to stick to it.

Was at my vet's one day with the dogs and commented on how he looked lighter. He told me he was doing the "Fast Five" plan and proceeded to tell me about it.

Essentially, you chose a five hour period during which you eat normally and reasonably sensibly and then fast for the next 19 hours. We chose breakfast and lunch and do not eat supper. Oh I might have a bowl of cereal or chips and salsa later in the evening, but no big meal.

It was tough at first but we quickly acclimated to the process and I'm down 22 pounds and slowly losing more. It has become my current lifestyle. Beats the hell of eat this/don't eat that.

RMD




TL Davis: “The Second Amendment is special, not because it protects guns, but because its violation signals a government with the intention to oppress its people…”
Remember: After the first one, the rest are free.
 
Posts: 20019 | Location: L.A. - Lower Alabama | Registered: April 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Step by step walk the thousand mile road
Picture of Sig2340
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by parabellum:
Armed monkeys, I don't know.

A taser seems like a bad idea. I don't care how well they're trained- they're too much like us and they might just go off, climbing on the light fixtures and whatnot, doin' all that damn screeching and shit.

How'd you like to have a spastic monkey firing tasers at you from your chandelier? It's not an attractive proposition.



Still beats the other thing monkeys are known for throwing.





Nice is overrated

"It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government."
Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018

 
Posts: 30001 | Location: Loudoun County, Virginia | Registered: May 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
quarter MOA visionary
Picture of smschulz
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by rduckwor:

He told me he was doing the "Fast Five" plan and proceeded to tell me about it.

Essentially, you chose a five hour period during which you eat normally and reasonably sensibly and then fast for the next 19 hours. We chose breakfast and lunch and do not eat supper. Oh I might have a bowl of cereal or chips and salsa later in the evening, but no big meal.

It was tough at first but we quickly acclimated to the process and I'm down 22 pounds and slowly losing more.

RMD


That eating schedule is a common commodity for those of us on a KETO plan.
The reason is that with KETO you are satiated more and just not as hungry plus the schedule assists in training your body to burn fat.
Of course we primarily eat lots of fat, low carbs and moderate proteins ...YMMV.
Eating lots of carbs and sugars you will always be hungry.
I eat twice a day 11:00am and 7:00pm on average also do a small fast once a week and just skip the am meal once a week.
Of course while not the total picture you have to be conscience of the calorie intake.
A lot will do OMAD (one meal a day) ~ I think ArcWelder had a thread a couple years ago.
For some eating less number of meals force them to restrict calories ~ for KETO people ~ they are just less hungry because of the foods they eat.
YMMV
 
Posts: 20767 | Location: Houston, TX | Registered: June 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Last week of August, 1995.
That was the last time I had a donut.

I refuse to be "that cop".

That being said, Para, since a cinnamon roll and Danish doesn't have a hole, they technically aren't donuts.

But I would grab that colt carrying capuchin and beat his lil ass soo bad his momma would apologize if it got between me and a jelly filled.


_____________________________________________________________________

"When its time to shoot, shoot. Dont talk!"

“What the government is good at is collecting taxes, taking away your freedoms and killing people. It’s not good at much else.” —Author Tom Clancy
 
Posts: 7351 | Location: Attempting to keep the noise down around Midway Airport | Registered: February 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Waiting for Hachiko
Picture of Sunset_Va
posted Hide Post
A divorced guy I used to work with told me his diet plan.


Remove all food from the house, only eat while out to work or if picking something up in town.

Said he spent hours standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open ,staring inside.


美しい犬
 
Posts: 6673 | Location: Near the Metropolis of Tightsqueeze, Va | Registered: February 18, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
It's not easy being me
posted Hide Post
Hmmmmnnn. Maybe I need to start a topic that I need a Beer Slapper. Donuts aren't my problem. But this could go wrong in so many ways...


_______________________________________
Flammable, Inflammable, or Nonflammable.......
Hell, either it Flams or it doesn't!! (George Carlin)
 
Posts: 2767 | Location: Middle TN | Registered: March 22, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
posted Hide Post
I need a, wait....

Nevermind.




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" I could explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
 
Posts: 43336 | Location: ...... I am thrice divorced, and I live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!  | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Equal Opportunity Mocker
Picture of slabsides45
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by BigSwede:
I could add you to my Life360 app.

https://www.life360.com/lp-v2/...Z2UeiIIaAuUXEALw_wcB

It will alert me when you get anywhere near a Krispy Kreme. I can call, message or show up and call you a fat slob, gut wagon, dunlap, rhino rump, fat pos, slug, fat fuck and a gd commie

Or just some encouraging words if that would do it for you


I rarely eat wheat products, potatoes, rice or sweets etc. not a full blown Keto but low carb. Been doing it for about a year, didn't really lose much weight but I'm not bloated all the time anymore, acid reflux pretty much gone and the gas is minimal compared to what it was which makes the wife happy


So rig this up to Swede's idea, and you have a winner (or should I say massive weight loser)!
Get within 75 yards of a Dunkin' Donuts and this bad boy fires off:



________________________________________________

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving."
-Dr. Adrian Rogers
 
Posts: 6232 | Location: Mogadishu on the Mississippi | Registered: February 26, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of KHolm
posted Hide Post
New slogan for a donut joint..

“Donuts so good, make you wanna slap ya Site Owner!”

If hired, do benefits included stock options and visible consumption of said slapped sweets?


Isaiah 54:17 - No weapon formed against us shall prosper....

What do I want? A time machine.
When do I want it? Irrelevant.
 
Posts: 1818 | Location: Central Iowa CAPTIVE | Registered: January 15, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Step by step walk the thousand mile road
Picture of Sig2340
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I need a, wait....

Nevermind.


I'm still perfecting the self-peeling banana.

OSHA wants "causes slip hazard" labels.





Nice is overrated

"It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government."
Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018

 
Posts: 30001 | Location: Loudoun County, Virginia | Registered: May 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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