...or at least the thermal dynamics:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Hilarious…glad to see humor in the sciences from time to time!

That leaves only one question: Where is Teresa hanging out tonight?

Speaking of humor in science:
I stopped at a hotel in TN on the way to Michigan. I told the clerk I thought the fish tank full of white and orange carp was fantastic; go Vols! He asked if I was an alum. I said I wasn’t, but my son considered going there for Geology until he read their Geology Department’s 5-year plan for improvement and decided the program probably wasn’t good to begin with. The clerk immediately replied he heard the program was rock bottom. True story.

What is Hell?

Being around my ex.

The actual one question final for a philosophy course I had to take at Penn State back in the '70's.

"Explain the absurdity of the human condition."

The guy who sat next to me simply answered "Oh Fuck!", handed in his blue book, and walked out the room. He got a "C" for the final.

I cannot remember how I answered the question.

Nice to see a bright college student with some practical sense as well as a sense of humor.

Masterpiece.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I second this remark!

Final exam question:

Describe the universe in 25 words or less. Give three examples.

I have a friend who is on the Chemistry faculty at the Naval Academy…She should get a kick out of this.

Thanks!

Sarte said "Other people." From the play,"No exit."

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
Final exam question:

Describe the universe in 25 words or less. Give three examples.

I can do all four in three words.

Everything.
Something.
Nothing.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
Final exam question:

Describe the universe in 25 words or less. Give three examples.

In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and has widely been regarded as a bad move

quote:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Dates to at least the '70s when I first heard it, but it never fails to amuse

quote:

Originally posted by Sig2340:
What is Hell?

Being around my ex.

For me it would be living in and stuck in DFW (for now). Everyone and their dog has moved here and fucked it all up.

As far the OP, an old Texan saying would apply, pretty dadgum good.