“Boy, do you have a job ?”

And...

“You ever hit her, or harm her, it’s not me you have to worry about.
It’s two cousins from Mississippi, who’ll drive the night, and knock on your door... At midnight.
You’ll never be seen again.”

quote:

Originally posted by Strambo:

quote:

Originally posted by wrightd:
They are mid to late 20s. He hasn't landed on a specific trajectory, but he did wash out of BUDS, so I guess he gets some credit. Maybe.

Ask him if they get married or have a kid, is he gonna quit on them like he did in BUDs.

This is nuts. 8-9 out of 10 don't make it through the program. Did he quit or did he wash out. Two very different things. Only the best of the best qualify for entry into BUDS.

Jim

quote:

Originally posted by Jimbo54:

quote:

Originally posted by Strambo:

quote:

Originally posted by wrightd:
They are mid to late 20s. He hasn't landed on a specific trajectory, but he did wash out of BUDS, so I guess he gets some credit. Maybe.

Ask him if they get married or have a kid, is he gonna quit on them like he did in BUDs.

This is nuts. 8-9 out of 10 don't make it through the program. Did he quit or did he wash out. Two very different things. Only the best of the best qualify for entry into BUDS.

Jim

I agree. He should get massive credit for even trying - even if he did quit. It's not for everyone.

At least he admitted it - versus 'stolen valor' types who lie about all the super-Delta-Force stuff they didn't do.

We are as shaped by our failures and how we deal with them as we are our successes. His talents may be better used elsewhere anyway.

-----------------------------------------

quote:

Originally posted by DSgrouse:
Hand him a 100 dollar bill.

Tell him you are running way behind on your to do list for the day. Ask him to do some light shopping for you at home depot.

Tell him everything you need is on the list.

Hand him the list folded.

Send him to homedepot.


On the list.

Cheap shovel

duct tape

visqueen

small hatchet

small pruning saw

1 bag of lime.


If he comes back with the list and gets the joke, he is good to go.

If he comes back and asks what the heck it was for, he is a moron. not good to go.

if he does not come back, best 100 dollars spent.

Have you been watching Dexter?

Don't embarrass your daughter.

I never married and don't have a daughter, but I think my first concern would be how the daughter feels about this proposed conversation. Is she supportive of it?

I agree that his washing out of BUDS is not a downcheck--my understanding is that is a very elite bunch of men and few manage to make the grade; even trying for it is a big plus. I also agree that the desire to have the chat with his paramour's old man FTF is a very good sign of his serious intentions. I'd let the young man know that you value your daughter and will always be looking out for her, and that you'd expect the same from him.

That is all.
flashguy

quote:

Originally posted by Sig209:
Let HIM talk. You listen.

This is a good one, and I've learned it from my mom. She's really good at getting people (my brother and me) to talk, without saying much herself.

Mom has learned a lot from us (pried it out of us?) by simply listening quietly and saying, "Oh?" and then waiting for us to spill the beans.

Seriously, though, good for the boy for wanting to take the time to talk with you.

quote:

Originally posted by Sig209:

quote:

Originally posted by Jimbo54:

quote:

Originally posted by Strambo:

quote:

Originally posted by wrightd:
They are mid to late 20s. He hasn't landed on a specific trajectory, but he did wash out of BUDS, so I guess he gets some credit. Maybe.

Ask him if they get married or have a kid, is he gonna quit on them like he did in BUDs.

This is nuts. 8-9 out of 10 don't make it through the program. Did he quit or did he wash out. Two very different things. Only the best of the best qualify for entry into BUDS.

Jim

I agree. He should get massive credit for even trying - even if he did quit. It's not for everyone.

At least he admitted it - versus 'stolen valor' types who lie about all the super-Delta-Force stuff they didn't do.

We are as shaped by our failures and how we deal with them as we are our successes. His talents may be better used elsewhere anyway.

On top of that, SEALs and other operators don't exactly have reputations as great husbands/long-term partners. Even for the ones who are, the high-speed Spec Ops lifestyle isn't conducive to a good relationship.

Asking him direct questions and will only get you canned answers you want to hear. I say just meet the kid and see how he acts If he is faking it you will know.


With my daughter she knew better then to date some kid that she knows I would never approve of,She is 21 and is dating a really nice guy who is old school. He pays for everything and takes her on actual dates and not just " hanging out"


So far it has worked out nicely.

Thanks very much fellas. Very good advice in here. I was just kidding about not giving him credit for not graduating from BUDS, I'm aware of the statistics, and I respect any young man for giving it a go.

The concensus seems to be since he asked to meet, hear him out and engage him on his line of thought, since he's fully mature to start the conversation. He is an adventurer though. He fishes and hunts bear in Alaska and climbs mountains for Goats. That takes some balls in my book because the amount of joy you obtain from that kind of adventure is proportional to the amount of pain and misery you put yourself through in those envoronments. The comment that high speed operator types have trouble with marriages does concern me a little, but that can't be a reason to reject him other things being equal and depending on how it goes. Accepting or rejecting him is not my purpose, but letting my daughter know what I think is my ultimate goal, since she sent him to me.

No body want to talk to their dates dad at age 25-28. That doesn't make any sense.

Maybe they have been dating for a long time that you are not aware of and he wants to pop the question?

Yeah, I agree. Wanting to talk to the dad at that age just to go on a date makes no sense. Something else maybe going on here.

Seems odd to me that he'd want to meet you. Ask him about "BUDS" tho, that will be a good story.

MDS

quote:

Originally posted by iron chef:

quote:

Originally posted by Sig209:

quote:

Originally posted by Jimbo54:

quote:

Originally posted by Strambo:

quote:

Originally posted by wrightd:
They are mid to late 20s. He hasn't landed on a specific trajectory, but he did wash out of BUDS, so I guess he gets some credit. Maybe.

Ask him if they get married or have a kid, is he gonna quit on them like he did in BUDs.

This is nuts. 8-9 out of 10 don't make it through the program. Did he quit or did he wash out. Two very different things. Only the best of the best qualify for entry into BUDS.

Jim

I agree. He should get massive credit for even trying - even if he did quit. It's not for everyone.

At least he admitted it - versus 'stolen valor' types who lie about all the super-Delta-Force stuff they didn't do.

We are as shaped by our failures and how we deal with them as we are our successes. His talents may be better used elsewhere anyway.

On top of that, SEALs and other operators don't exactly have reputations as great husbands/long-term partners. Even for the ones who are, the high-speed Spec Ops lifestyle isn't conducive to a good relationship.

Sheesh, that’s why it was a joke, I even included smilies. 90% of BUDs failures are do to “ringing the bell” according to the senior chief I spoke to.

I guess go back to the implied murder jokes then...

Listen to what he has to say be be friendly. The fact that he wants to meet you and talk is a good thing. Anything that happens is up to your daughter at this point.

Being friendly will tell you alot about him and allow him to open up!!!

Yes indeed, let him talk.......while you clean your shotgun. Also, let him get a good look at your new shiny shovel.

quote:

Originally posted by Bassamatic:
Yeah, I agree. Wanting to talk to the dad at that age just to go on a date makes no sense. Something else maybe going on here.

When he asks to marry your daughter, be relieved. There are only 2 reasons he would want a sit-down with you...

quote:

Originally posted by wrightd:
They are mid to late 20s. He hasn't landed on a specific trajectory, but he did wash out of BUDS, so I guess he gets some credit. Maybe.

At that age I don’t feel meeting the father is even a requirement before dating someone. So the fact that he wants to, I would give him a lot of credit for. I honestly wouldn’t even have a list of questions. I’d just have a conversation with him and see what his hobbies, interests, and plans for the future are.

How old are your daughter and this man? If they are more than about 16 or 17 - certainly 18, you shouldn't be having this conversation. It isn't your place. They are old enough to make their own choices and should already be well enough educated to make the right ones.

quote:

No body want to talk to their dates dad at age 25-28. That doesn't make any sense.Maybe they have been dating for a long time that you are not aware of and he wants to pop the question?

On the other hand, maybe he has been brought up right and he respects your daughter and wants to do the right thing.


Most kids nowadays, won't have anything to do with an old tradition like that. It tells me that he is relatively conservative and not some hippie, commie kid.


I brought up my daughter to be a strong, independent, and self confident woman. Once she left home, I would not presume to denigrate her choice of man by threatening someone she brought over to meet me.

All those people suggesting that you threaten this young man in any way, are way off base. If he had an ulterior motive, he would not have requested a meeting with you.

Besides that, dumping on this young man would be a sure way to show your daughter how little you trust her judgement and how poorly you think of her choices.