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Nan & Chucky's dire tales of .gov shutdowns - now & in the future

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https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/7090038254

January 31, 2019, 11:58 AM
Z06
Nan & Chucky's dire tales of .gov shutdowns - now & in the future
The dynamic duo say the shutdown has hit everybody really hard, those not getting their wages and even non-.gov workers! Their examples:


My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.


CEO's are now playing miniature golf.


Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.


A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.


I saw a Mormon with only one wife.


If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.


McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.


Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.


Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.


My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!


A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.


A picture is now only worth 200 words.


When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.


The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.


And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.,
So I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...


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The trouble with trouble is; it always starts out as fun.
January 31, 2019, 12:16 PM
olfuzzy
Big Grin
January 31, 2019, 12:24 PM
TRshootem
Good ones Big Grin
January 31, 2019, 01:34 PM
scsigs
Haha!
Good stuff
January 31, 2019, 02:10 PM
rat2306
I can see Rodney Dangerfield delivering those lines (if he were with us still). Smile