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| The Ice Cream Man |
All clothes now have to be washable. The shirt pocket pencil is no longer acceptable. (Not sure how to replace it.) No more watches with scratchy or sharper external surfaces. Not sure what that will be. Maybe my MRG-100t, or a conventional G shock square. Rolex Milgauss is “OK”. Maybe my SBDB015 Seiko. | ||
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A Grateful American |
What I learned. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| Member |
Appendix carry gets tough when they get mobile. My little girl has hit her head on the gun running up the jump on me. | |||
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Told cops where to go for over 29 years… |
I did several of those “bad ideas” and most of my kids turned out just fine… What part of "...Shall not be infringed" don't you understand???  | |||
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| Eye on the Silver Lining |
Hah! My immediate thought as a new mom: 1) no more wearing the diamond ring- too sharp and pointy. 2) they’re really going to let me leave the hospital with him? For real? I’ve no fricking clue what I’m doing! __________________________ "Trust, but verify." | |||
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Spread the Disease |
If you are a neat freak, give it up. ________________________________________ -- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. -- | |||
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Member |
 Thanks for the Monday chuckles The Enemy's gate is down. | |||
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Prepared for the Worst, Providing the Best |
We've had four and all of them are old enough now to be pretty independent. When friends or family are freaking out about the first baby, I usually just tell them: "remember, crackheads have babies all the time and most of them survive. You'll be fine." | |||
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Member |
Didn't they give you a user's manual when you left the hospital? _________________________________________________________________________ “A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.” -- Mark Twain, 1902 | |||
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| Savor the limelight |
We got an 892 page manual from Publix. They give it to you for free when you sign up for their baby club. That book is where I learned Kawasaki disease has nothing to done with motorcycles. I think that at the top of the page 793, left hand column. This is the book: Carrying for Your Baby and Young Child. Of course they made several revisions after my kids were born. My immediate thought was “He can’t do shit.” I was wrong. | |||
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| Member |
Congratulations! Now find a grandparent or a trusty babysitter. Date night is a must! I am so thankful to have had grands nearby so that the wife and I could go out on Friday nights and sleep in on Saturday mornings. Here is the best advice my mother ever gave me about having kids. If you want to love your kids, love their mother. She's right! The way you and your wife treat each other is huge for your kids. PS. When your baby starts waiving their arms around while chilling in a chair, you can strap a watch to each arm and he will wind them for you. It's also a workout for the little one. Beagle lives matter. ______ (\ / @\_____ / ( ) /O / ( )______/ ///_____/ | |||
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| His diet consists of black coffee, and sarcasm.  |
Here are some baby care tips.  | |||
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| Needs a check up from the neck up  |
Go slow, breath deep, and try to never pick up a baby angry. Being a new dad was both terrifying and extremely satisfying. I took my son to the Rolex 24 hour race this weekend with my best friend from high school. He is 50, single and has no kids. Needless to say, I wouldn't trade being a father for anything. That was an awesome experience. And I just gave up concealed carry until my kids were older. it didn't seem worth the risk __________________________ The entire reason for the Second Amendment is not for hunting, it’s not for target shooting … it’s there so that you and I can protect our homes and our children and and our families and our lives. And it’s also there as fundamental check on government tyranny. Sen Ted Cruz | |||
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Fourth line skater |
Enjoy your time with them when they're small. It goes by way too quickly, and things really change when they reach adulthood. _________________________ OH, Bonnie McMurray! | |||
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| Member |
Absolutely. Make time. Additionally legos and bare feet do not mix. | |||
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Mistake Not... |
Meh, I hosed off both my boys a couple of times when they were still before their first birthday. It all depends on the size and splatter pattern of the #2. And seriously, you will NEVER get any missed time back. Once they are grown and older, they will stop having time for you. You will miss it more than you know. ___________________________________________ Life Member NRA & Washington Arms Collectors Mistake not my current state of joshing gentle peevishness for the awesome and terrible majesty of the towering seas of ire that are themselves the milquetoast shallows fringing my vast oceans of wrath. Velocitas Incursio Vis - Gandhi | |||
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| Yew got a spider on yo head  |
YES, Can't believe how fast my baby is growing up  I blinked after she was born and now she will be in kindergarten! | |||
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semi-reformed sailor |
Don’t open your mouth if you are holding a baby above your head. They pee when you take off their diaper. Make sure you are prepared. Enjoy them while they are little "Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein “You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020 “A single round of buckshot to the torso almost always results in an immediate change of behavior.” Chris Baker | |||
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| Bookers Bourbon and a good cigar  |
My wife and I were 1000 miles from family when our son was born. We were alone with this squirming little human and no instructions and no help. He retires from the Army next month as an 06 Colonel. If you're goin' through hell, keep on going. Don't slow down. If you're scared don't show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there. NRA ENDOWMENT LIFE MEMBER | |||
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Member |
THAT is funny. Ha !! Lover of the US Constitution Wile E. Coyote School of DIY Disaster | |||
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