From my 80yo auntie...


A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.



He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just hate drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."



The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You will have to drive around in his 2017 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."



"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."



The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"



The social worker said, "Yeah, well... you started it."

ROFLMAO!

Good stuff right there.

My car was broken into. But all I had in it were work boots and job applications, so they didn't take anything.