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Buzzwords, corporatespeak, operatorspeak, what have ya

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September 03, 2021, 04:31 PM
ggile
Buzzwords, corporatespeak, operatorspeak, what have ya
Saw this today in our local help wanted ads: Now Hiring. Human Capital and Talent Acquisition Specialist.

I assume they are looking for a human resource person, then again, maybe not!?


_____________________________

"The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living."

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety"
Benjamin Franklin
October 28, 2021, 06:51 AM
xantom
A bullet point from a document I am reading Roll Eyes

"Leveraging Enterprise Architecture to construct integration centricity, promote data liquidity, and provide innovation support"



"We've done four already, but now we're steady..."
October 28, 2021, 07:06 AM
1967Goat
Let me see if I can solution that for you, and get back to you.
October 28, 2021, 07:58 AM
Aglifter
Pretty sure human capital was outlawed "awhile" back...

I know Spanish is full of regional idioms, and German is full of acronyms. Not sure what their corporate language is like.
October 28, 2021, 09:45 AM
architect
quote:
Originally posted by ggile:
Saw this today in our local help wanted ads: Now Hiring. Human Capital and Talent Acquisition Specialist.

I assume they are looking for a human resource person, then again, maybe not!?
Recruiter, not HR. You, sir, are obviously not qualified!
October 28, 2021, 10:02 AM
JohnCourage
“Roundtable”. We can’t have a call or a meeting it has to be a roundtable. The other buzz phrase is “learnings”. No more courses or classes it’s learnings.


JC
October 28, 2021, 11:48 AM
xantom
quote:
“Roundtable” ... “learnings”


Uff da Big Grin



"We've done four already, but now we're steady..."
November 01, 2021, 11:42 AM
Pale Horse
I’m on a call right now and the leader keeps saying “advance that” instead of just saying “tell”. Such as If you need anything just advance that to me as soon as you can” or “It shouldn’t be an issue, I just wanted to advance that info to all of you on the call”.

She is also constantly saying “post call” meaning after the call.



“Everybody wants a Sig in the sheets but a Glock on the streets.” -bionic218 04-02-2014
November 01, 2021, 11:58 AM
satch
And Obunions favorite, “Come on Man.”
November 01, 2021, 12:39 PM
snoris
quote:
Originally posted by parabellum:
I saw this one in the Afghanistan thread: "over-the-horizon"

I heard one of the Pentagon mooks throw out "deconflict" Roll Eyes

Recently, we had "AmCits" and "RumInt" show up in the forum.

Then, there's that golden oldy of corporate America: "Think outside the box" - Listen, do you want to really demonstrate how you're special? Tell them you're going to think about the box.

Referring to problems as "challenges" - Umm, yeah, sparky, I understand what you said, and what you have there is not a "challenge." What you have there is a plain old, ordinary problem.

"Key enabler" What are you people? Drug addicts?

"Pre-meeting" Uh huh. Hey, Mister Coroporate super go-getter! Ever read Dante's Inferno? No reason, just asking. He mentioned a vacation spot I think is perfect for you.

I loathe this shit. The English language is capable of being remarkably descriptive. When employed correctly, a person can communicate quite effectively. All these buzzwords, milspeak, corpspeak- it's concept-obscuring horse shit. Do you want to communicate, or do you want to try to look like a cool-as-shit insider? Let's hear the stuff that bugs you. Load 'em up...


Getting rid of the buzzwords/phrases you mentioned would immediately put Jen Psaki out of a job. Thank you, Sir!!!
November 01, 2021, 12:45 PM
selogic
Having a training meeting and calling it a " workshop " .
November 01, 2021, 12:55 PM
snoris
While I was with a pharmaceutical company, the powers-that-be got hip deep in corporatespeak and replaced "personnel division" with "talent acquisition."

Then it got ridiculous. From the company's website:

Are you a curious person who is always pioneering in life? At UCB, you are known as a 'curioneering' person. This unique blend of talent means you have an inquisitive nature capable of creating new possibilities in patient wellbeing.

As a UCB 'curioneering' person and Learning Experience Manager you like to work in an environment where you can: (and so on and so on)

The few sales reps I used to work with who are still there told me they thought this was a joke, but found out management was dead serious.

The company immediately went from finding good leaders to finding good followers.