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A Grateful American |
Just remember, for you, they are all Hawaiian Punch lines... "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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Member |
Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a Rabbi sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Rabbi kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke." "Don't get up," said the Rabbi. "I'm in the aisle seat. I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Rabbi's shoe and spat in it. When the Rabbi returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too." Again, the Rabbi obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Rabbi's other shoe and spat in it. When the Rabbi returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Rabbi slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on, this fighting between our nations, this hatred, and this animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?" | |||
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Little ray of sunshine |
Now that I am a little older, I don't know . . . ham is pretty damn good. The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. | |||
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More persistent than capable |
Guy goes to the doctor and is told he has 6 months to live. Doc Where should I go, What should I do? Go to New Jersey, Marry a Jewish woman It will be the longest 6 months of your life Lick the lollipop of mediocrity once and you suck forever. | |||
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Let's be careful out there |
priest and a Rabbi were going to an ecumenical meeting. Priest was driving. Suddenly, a big truck pulls out right in front of them. The priest stopped the car with the hood almost under the truck. Needless to say, they were both pretty shook up. To the astonishment of the priest, he sees the Rabbi making the Sign of the Cross on his chest. The priest says, ah-ha, I caught you!!. The Rabbi says, so, nu, what caught? I'm just checking; spectacles, testicles, wallet and phone. | |||
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Let's be careful out there |
What's a Jewish wife's favorite position? wait for it-- facing Bloomingdale's | |||
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Member |
Thanks, V-Tail. And that joke has no place here. . | |||
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Legalize the Constitution |
Knock knock! Who’s there? Fortification Fortification who? Fortification, we go to the Catskills _______________________________________________________ despite them | |||
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Member |
Along those lines, What does a Jewish girl say during sex? "Oy, Jake, the ceiling needs painting." ------------------- How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm? She drops her nail file.
--------------------------------------- It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves. | |||
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Member |
We all know their favorite sex positions, don't we? Doggie: He sits up and begs while she rolls over and plays dead. True story: A Jewish friend of my family told us about watching the play "Fiddler On The Roof", Tevya was singing a lament about having three daughters to marry off, my friend laughed because he had five! -------------------------- Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. -- H L Mencken I always prefer reality when I can figure out what it is. -- JALLEN 10/18/18 | |||
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Lost |
I believe you may have jib-jabbed yourself. | |||
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