Please indulge me the long post, as I'm hoping it proves cathartic.

Yesterday, we were told by our vet that our 8 year old yellow lab, Remy, had inoperable cancer and needed to be put to sleep due to her rapidly declining quality of life.

She is the first pure bred dog we ever had and got her from a breeder in Georgetown, KY. We picked her up on Mother's Day 2012 and took her to visit my mom, who lived in a nursing facility. When we walked through the lobby holding her, a number of the residents wanted to hold and pet her and tell us about the dogs they had as children. Seeing the joy she brought we decided to do something more than have her as a pet. When she was old enough, we trained and certified her as a therapy dog. For several years we visited rehab hospitals and assisted living facilities in the area with her. One of the most heartbreaking but rewarding things was visiting the memory care units. At one, there was a resident who was usually non-verbal but would always talk to Remy, which amazed the staff. We retired her from therapy work a few years ago due to lack of time to do visits.

Remy has always been quite the social butterfly. She doesn't know a stranger and wags her whole body when greeting someone. She has all the neighbors in our cul-de-sac and our mailman trained to give her treats. She has been with us and comforted us through some very tough times.

Several years ago, one of the vets at our practice noticed a spot on her eye that they advised could turn to melanoma, which would necessitate removing her eye. We've kept watch on it without noticing any worrisome changes.

In May, we took her to Virginia with us when we stayed with our daughter-in-law who was preparing to give birth. In June, we returned home with our DIL, granddaughter, and grand dog (a 1 year old Corgi named Shay). Remy and Shay get along well, and had no issues when we were in VA. When we got home, Remy started showing some unusual behaviors, such as staying in her crate frequently, which she did when she was pouting or feeling bad. She then started hanging out all day near her food and water bowls in the laundry room. She's always been a food hound and would hang out by the bowl when she thought it was dinner time. But now she was staying there most of the day, even after eating. She also lost interest in some of her favorite activities, such as playing fetch or chasing soap bubbles.

We took her to the vet to determine what was going on with her. They ran a full series of tests on her and determined her organs were functioning properly. We even did an ultrasound on her stomach and intestines to make sure there were no problems there. Last Friday after the ultrasound showed no issues, the attending vet consulted with another vet who has expertise in labs and goldens. He suggested that she had a back injury due to some hunching in her spine. They prescribed prednisone, muscle relaxants, and pain meds. They advised rest, meds, and plenty of fluids. We tried to keep her calm, but she seemed to pace a lot and have trouble keeping her legs underneath her whenever she was out of her crate.

Monday morning, she would not come out of her crate without coaxing and wouldn't lay down. When she did, she screamed in pain and tried to sit up, which was difficult. We took her to the vet clinic as soon as they opened, and saw the vet with expertise in labs. We had to carry her in on a stretcher since she wouldn't/couldn't walk. The vet did x-rays and identified some spinal issues with possible bulging disks that would need a CT scan to confirm. They kept her from Monday until Wednesday to monitor her and released her to come home Wednesday. She had been doing well until Wednesday around lunch. When they brought her out to me, she seemed indifferent to me. The vet told us he was observing some signs of neurological issues but could not rule out the back issue. If continued rest and meds had no affect, he said it would have to been some sort of neurological issue.

Yesterday (Thursday), she was in a great deal of pain in the morning like on Monday and was showing sensitivity to sound, so I took her back to the vet for further evaluation. That afternoon they called to say we could pick her up at 5:30. When we arrived they put us in a room and the vet came in to tell us that after all the tests and observations, he came to the conclusion that the spot in her eye had turned to melanoma and had metastasized into her brain and spinal column. He said it took six aids to hold her down when he shined a light in her bad eye due to her extreme sensitivity. He said they have ruled out all other possible issues, and due to her rapid deterioration there was nothing that could be done. Removing the eye at this point would be useless and put her through unnecessary pain. He said a CT scan could confirm what he knew and would only serve to ease our minds but at great expense.

He told us we didn't need to make the decision right away, but her deterioration in the past week indicates she is terminal and won't last too long.

My wife is devastated. She was the one who did the primary training with Remy, and they have a special bond. She knows that putting her to sleep is the right thing to do but is not emotionally prepared to o.k. it. We put our last dog down at 13 when she developed extreme hip issues and could barely walk. Since then, my wife has second guessed that decision and has said she would never put another dog to sleep.

I don't want to lose our good girl, but it pains me greatly to see her in such discomfort. She has been in her crate all day and wouldn't come out when the mailman came (she always recognizes the sound of his vehicle and runs to the door to be let out and get her treat). I don't want to unilaterally make the decision of when to do it because I don't want my wife to resent me over it. I know we could get other opinions, but I really don't think it will change anything. Yes, it took our vet clinic some hit and miss diagnosing to come to this conclusion. Even we missed some signs that in retrospect we should have had checked out, but she appeared to be generally healthy up until the past 2 weeks.

Thanks all for listening. Those of you who are pet parents and have gone through this know how difficult it is. It's certainly not the worst thing I've experienced in my life, but it's up there.

Obligatory pic of Remy in better times:

A beautiful girl. So sorry you guys are facing this.

I'm so sorry to hear about Remy. It's a hard decision to be faced with when a beloved animal family members quality of life deteriorates. We have to decide what's best for them but the depression from their loss is unbelievable.

We're facing similar with our 10 year old Rottie. He's been dealing with complications of diabetes for the last three years. He's such a great dog as have our previous Rotties. Like Remy, he's never met a person he didn't like. I can't imagine his not being there for us.

Very sorry to hear about Remy. She has had a special life thus far and I know it is very hard to let go.

I held two of our prior dogs while the doctor administered their last shot and will never forget the release of their pain and tension as they slowly went to sleep forever. It still tears me up, but if we face that decision again, I would do the same as I believe they would want their last touch/voice/view to be mine.

My screen is getting blurry...especially since we might be facing that tough decision with our 18 year old Jacks soon.

I’m so sorry, she is such a beauty and what great life she has lead. Please accept my sincerest condolences, nothing prepares us for this.

Very sorry to hear. I wish you had more years. In the end, I believe they will tell you when it is time. As heartbreaking as it is, you can see it in their eyes. May she find some comfort and share a few more happy moments before that time comes.

I am so sorry to read this. Remy sounds like an amazing friend.

We are going through a similar heartbreak with our nearly 13 year old corgi - he has been the most amazing friend. We are lucky to have him each day now - but I fear time is short.

We are in hospice mode as I write this. We are up a number of times each night to give him water and sometimes to take him out a couple of times in the middle of the night. Sometimes he walks, sometimes we carry him. So, far, with a little coaxing he has gotten up each morning. It is heartbreaking. But, he is still eating albeit very slowly for this formerly voracious eater. He is still interested in treats.

I send peace during this difficult time.

My I hate seeing these posts. But I do read them because I get to learn of the dog's life, and Remy not only had a good one she gave pleasure to so many others in need. God bless Remy.

Dang Sorry as hell to read this.

So sorry to hear. One of the hardest parts of having pets. Prayers for you.

This is the hardest part of pet ownership to deal with but especially at a younger age.
We had to make that decision twice in the last year and a half but both were much older and we knew it was coming.
There seem to be a lot of other pet owners here and we all have dealt with it before or know it's sometime in the future. That doesn't make it any easier when it's you.
You will know when it's time is the only advice I can give.

So sorry to read this. When there is more bad than good it is time. You can't let your best friend suffer. I've held two of my dogs while their final shot was given and I've done nothing harder but I knew it was right. Prayers sent.

I've got an old red dog named Barney that will soon be 16. Age is catching up to him but he still eats good and his internals are good. I know what is coming so every day is be especially good to Barney day.

So sorry to hear about your Reme, we hold them so close to our hearts, we feel our heartache when then leave us behind. She will be waiting for you, hale and hearty having left her illness behind once she crosses the rainbow bridge.

Dogs lives are shorter than ours, their only fault really.

Right there with you sir. My Mal that I rescued is 5 and has multiple injuries which may result in me putting her down. Let me know if you need anything. Not my first rodeo. I’m closer to my k9’s than anything or anyone on this planet.

If I didn’t know better I’d swear that Remmy was our Maggie who turns 7 on Halloween. Literally a spitting image.

Truly heartbroken for you and yours. Please excuse me now, I have something in my eyes.

Sad story. I lost my lab a couple months back after a relatively sudden but quickly progressive illness, and reading your story brought tears to my eyes. My lab even looked a lot like remy
Talk to the wife , painful as it is you have to do what is best for remy. Your wife probably already knows it is the right thing to do. One of the hardest things in life to go through

That is a great tribute to a great pal. It’s never easy to say goodbye to someone so close to us. I’ve done it too many times but have always brought another wonderful companion into our home —— and never regretted it.

What a beautiful Dog. Remy is lucky to have you. It is never easy (they are the hardest decisions I have ever made), but it is the responsibility we accept when we let a fur baby into our lives.

Our Claire is 13.5 years old and our fourth Lab. She moves slower and has hearing issues.

She shows no signs of discomfort, so we will take every day as a blessing.

I will offer my good thoughts and prayers to you, your wife and Remy.

I am so sorry my friend. We lost our best buddy this past April 8. Putting him to sleep is the hardest thing I have ever done but it was for the best. I could not stand to let him suffer when there was no real chance for improvement. I pray God will bless and give you the strength necessary to see you through this most difficult time.

So sad and sorry about this.

Not letting her suffer is the best thing and the hardest thing, but anything else becomes a selfish thing.

Prayers for Remy and for you all.