A very good, loyal friend seems to be caught in a downward spiral of hate. When I met him he had a dislike and distrust of black people. I figured that since he was from Illinois he's had different experiences than I related to black people. Who was I to argue with his personal experience.
Now, in addition to his hatred of black people he's jumped on a hatred for the Jews and an emphatic defense of everything the Nazis stood for while denying the mass extermination of anyone Jewish or challenging to the Nazi paradigm.
He's beyond reason. He gets his "facts" mostly from the Internet. When I pull contrary history from his source, the Internet, he waves it off as a Jewish conspiracy to rewrite history in order to achieve world domination.
While his interpretation of history does trouble me because his is different than mine, what makes me bring the mental aspect into question is his obsessive hatred. He brings this topic up in the middle of any conversation and expects aggrement and mutual hatred. When you don't agree,you then become an "enabler" of the whole lie.
He seems to have made enemies of everyone around him and now lives pretty much in isolation. I live between his house and the Sportsmen's club where he used to shoot weekly and then visit me on his way home. At one point there was a disagreement between my friend and a range officer which has led to him hating the club and ceasing his range days. Granted incidents like this are not uncommon at this particular club, he always brings it up.
I'm very concerned for him. I would like to hear from the people here as to what their approach to this would be. He's been a consistent friend for over ten years but in the last year I can't stand being around him. I really think he needs professional help.

Unless he makes outright threats that are criminal in nature, and outside of you being a familiy member, not much you can do.

Hatred is not a crime, but actionable behavior can be, and then it becomes something that might have conesequences.

We simply do not have any "pre-crime" solution.

Just leave him alone. He's not crazy. He's just not happy or trusting and he doesn't need an intervention. If you really want to see the guy pissed off, try telling him he needs "help".

Dos he otherwise function in day to day activities?
Has his immediate family expressed concern over his behavior?
There's a wide range of behavior that doesn't rise to the level of hospitalization or government intervention. Neither can anyone predict a persons future actions.
What happens when you talk with him? From your report he's not open to discussion. Instead he doesn't want to be bothered by the facts.
Perhaps you can find a minister or someone he will listen to.

We aren't meant to be friends with all people, and perhaps even not some people for all time.

Solid friendships can endure all kinds of things I've found. Further, I think what Para wrote is good advice.

if you are ready willing and able to stick by his side through thick , thin and muddy, there are places that you !
can attend seminars, or seek opinions or go to their open houses, prior to discussing anything with him or his family.

https://www.unitypoint.org/qua...rt-young-center.aspx

if you are going to point him and cut him loose than just leave it be. it's none of your buisness

Sounds like more of an asshole than mentally ill.

When he rubs shit in his hair and stands in his front yard nekkid, watering the street with a garden hose, singing "we are all unique", that might be a sign he may need mental health care.

I don't know what could make someone like that qualify as a "good friend".
Sounds like a good person to stay away from. Just don't piss him off. Does he have any other friends that you know?

quote:

Originally posted by smithnsig:
Sounds like more of an asshole than mentally ill.

I'd agree. "Asshole", but not necessarily "crazy asshole".

quote:

Originally posted by gasche:
A very good, loyal friend seems to be caught in a downward spiral of hate. When I met him he had a dislike and distrust of black people. I figured that since he was from Illinois he's had different experiences than I related to black people. Who was I to argue with his personal experience.
Now, in addition to his hatred of black people he's jumped on a hatred for the Jews and an emphatic defense of everything the Nazis stood for while denying the mass extermination of anyone Jewish or challenging to the Nazi paradigm.
He's beyond reason. He gets his "facts" mostly from the Internet. When I pull contrary history from his source, the Internet, he waves it off as a Jewish conspiracy to rewrite history in order to achieve world domination.
While his interpretation of history does trouble me because his is different than mine, what makes me bring the mental aspect into question is his obsessive hatred. He brings this topic up in the middle of any conversation and expects aggrement and mutual hatred. When you don't agree,you then become an "enabler" of the whole lie.
He seems to have made enemies of everyone around him and now lives pretty much in isolation. I live between his house and the Sportsmen's club where he used to shoot weekly and then visit me on his way home. At one point there was a disagreement between my friend and a range officer which has led to him hating the club and ceasing his range days. Granted incidents like this are not uncommon at this particular club, he always brings it up.
I'm very concerned for him. I would like to hear from the people here as to what their approach to this would be. He's been a consistent friend for over ten years but in the last year I can't stand being around him. I really think he needs professional help.

If there is more to the story to support your case, let's hear it. As it stands right now, there are no justifications for getting him "professional help".

I'm not saying he's "rub shit in his hair" crazy.
I see him looking obsessively for reinforcement of negative thoughts real or made up. He continues to insulate himself from any opposition to his thinking by creating incidents that deprive him of what he likes to show the world how his endeavors are righteous.
He's very close to his religion and has sought council from several priests. However when the priest stops listening and starts to advise he finds another priest claiming the last one was "just another Vatican II pawn". He now attends church fifty miles away because he's burned bridges at all the local parishes.
Frankly, I don't give a shit if I piss him off. If he attempts suicide or kills somebody then I will look back at this post and know I should have done something now instead of whistling past the graveyard by writing him off as an asshole.
Thanks for the referral to the Robert Young centers. I will look for a similar program in my state.

Why did you even bother asking? Apparently, you believe you know what's good for the guy, so why don't you just go do it, instead of asking us?

"If" he does this or "If" he does that. In other words, he hasn't done anything. You simply don't care for what he believes or how he thinks. You think you know best for the guy, so go ahead and do it.

There are some people whose behavior and attitudes are way outside the boundaries of civility. At some point, they either crash and burn, take it out on everyone around them (including their friends), or somehow figure out that they need help.

The biggest problem for friends who try to step in and help is that they all too often end up on the receiving end of a violent outburst over what the person sees as betrayal.

If you think your friend is anywhere close to snapping, you may need to consider cutting ties.

I knew someone who was on a downward spiral like that many years ago. He scared hell out of everyone who knew him. Turned out he had a brain tumor that killed him. Some physical and mental illnesses, and substance abuse, can cause big changes in personality. Then again, some people are just jerks . Based on the behavior you describe I would be concerned about future violence.

quote:

Originally posted by snoris:
If you think your friend is anywhere close to snapping, you may need to consider cutting ties.

No, let's intervene and tell him that what he believes is wrong and how he acts is wrong.

If he is a danger to other people, it is time to advise someone in authority.

Until he sincerely requests help for an attitude problem, there is really nothing you or anyone else can do.

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:

quote:

Originally posted by gasche:
A very good, loyal friend seems to be caught in a downward spiral of hate. When I met him he had a dislike and distrust of black people. I figured that since he was from Illinois he's had different experiences than I related to black people. Who was I to argue with his personal experience.
Now, in addition to his hatred of black people he's jumped on a hatred for the Jews and an emphatic defense of everything the Nazis stood for while denying the mass extermination of anyone Jewish or challenging to the Nazi paradigm.
He's beyond reason. He gets his "facts" mostly from the Internet. When I pull contrary history from his source, the Internet, he waves it off as a Jewish conspiracy to rewrite history in order to achieve world domination.
While his interpretation of history does trouble me because his is different than mine, what makes me bring the mental aspect into question is his obsessive hatred. He brings this topic up in the middle of any conversation and expects aggrement and mutual hatred. When you don't agree,you then become an "enabler" of the whole lie.
He seems to have made enemies of everyone around him and now lives pretty much in isolation. I live between his house and the Sportsmen's club where he used to shoot weekly and then visit me on his way home. At one point there was a disagreement between my friend and a range officer which has led to him hating the club and ceasing his range days. Granted incidents like this are not uncommon at this particular club, he always brings it up.
I'm very concerned for him. I would like to hear from the people here as to what their approach to this would be. He's been a consistent friend for over ten years but in the last year I can't stand being around him. I really think he needs professional help.

If there is more to the story to support your case, let's hear it. As it stands right now, there are no justifications for getting him "professional help".

Pretty much this. Its a free country to believe and say what you want, as long as you are not physically hurting anyone. Friendships either get stronger over time or they fade away. I've ditched friends over the years, and made plenty of new friends. You can't change people. Its your choice who you want to spend time with.

Being stupid, hateful, bigoted, ill-informd, and downright inbred isn't a mental disorder.

Suggest you find other friends who better align with your views of the world and whose company you enjoy.

In my original post I was asking for when you know somebody needs help. The profile I described of my friend is of the last two years, it seems to be accelerating.
Prior to my acquaintance with the guy he went through a really weird divorce and during the course of that divorce he was found guilty of a road rage incident and sentenced to anger management therapy (yes, it was deserved). He currently rents and shares his old house with his ex-wife. No, I'm not making this up. He has spoken of "liking to see" different groups of people slaughtered.
I know that something is out of place with him.
I didn't ask how to tell if somebody needs help. I asked when. I've given examples of his behavior in the hope that some would say "it's time" or "he's just venting".
I'm not going to ditch my friend because he's acting differently than he did in the first eight years I've know him.
I can tell that he is suffering from, a very real to him, inner turmoil where the interval between this and inner peace is getting shorter. From the way he describes his prior conflict resolution scenarios, it won't end well if it gets to the point of constant turmoil

I may be asking a question that is out of the scope and range of an Internet forum. This could very well be one of those "you had to be there" situations. To some this can only seem like a game of Hide the Ball. If this question has elicited frustration from the respondents, I apologize, this was not my intent. I guess this sort of thing is not as easily defined and remedied as a deck or water heater. I sought council here first in the hope of finding objective comments. I didn't want to call a health care service only to be met with the question about firearm possession with the usual threat of being an accessory after the fact if something should happen.