ThMore parents are moving in with their young adult children, and they are doing it while they are younger, healthier and often still working.

One in four Americans aged 25 to 34 lived with parents or older relatives as of 2021, the fastest-growing segment in multigenerational households, according to data from Pew Research Center. Most of this group is adult children moving back in with their parents, but a significant number of older adults are moving in with millennials, said Richard Fry, a senior researcher at Pew. In 2021, 9% of multigenerational households were headed by a 25- to 34-year-old, up from 6% in 2001.

Some parents aren’t waiting for retirement or urgent healthcare needs to move in with adult children, the Pew data suggests. Known as the reverse-boomerang effect, the move is often driven by changing attitudes about family life, high housing costs and challenges in finding affordable child care, the researchers said.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Would you enjoy a multigenerational living arrangement? Why or why not? Join the conversation below.

Nearly one in five Americans lived in multigenerational homes in 2021, which are defined as two or more adult generations living under the same roof. Such arrangements were more the norm in the first half of the 20th century. But they fell out of favor as housing centered on the nuclear family and older Americans stayed healthier longer and had more money.

After bottoming out at 12% of Americans in 1980, multigenerational living has made a comeback in recent years, particularly after the 2008 financial crisis and during the pandemic, according to Pew.

The challenges of the housing market are also a factor. In 2022, 14% of all home buyers set up multigenerational homes, up from 11% in 2021, according to the National Association of Realtors. The pandemic drove an increase in demand for homes designed for multigenerational living, with separate living areas for older parents.



Having more generations in one household allows first-time millennial buyers to pool financial resources with older relatives, says Jessica Lautz, the NAR’s deputy chief economist and vice president of research.

Though the hallmark of independence was once living on your own, adults who asked older relatives to move in say it has advantages.

Last year, Darin Freeman, a 30-year-old who makes a living promoting home appliances, clothes and makeup on social media, bought a 3,300-square-foot home in Tampa, Fla., with her husband. The couple spent a year trying to convince her dad, Daniel Kane, and his wife and stepdaughter to move in with them and their two children.

Mrs. Freeman wanted to be closer to Mr. Kane, who lived in Safford, Ariz. She offered him a job managing her and her husband’s Amazon reselling business. They would pay him about $5,000 a month to communicate with manufacturers, keep track of inventory and test new products.



Members of the family create a list of meals for the week and shop for the household’s groceries.
Mr. Kane, 48, says he was hesitant. His job in radio communications for a mining company paid $120,000 a year, but meant 12-hour shifts, a two-hour commute and crawling through narrow spaces.

“I’m turning 49. I’m tired of beating myself up to make someone else money. I’d rather beat myself up making my daughter money,” he said.

He also wanted more time with his daughter and his grandchildren beyond yearly trips, he said. He wanted to cook them breakfast and watch their soccer games and gymnastics practices. Mr. Kane and his wife have their own bedroom and separate bathroom, which he calls “his own little apartment.”

Sharing bills and space
The Freemans pay the mortgage. Mr. Kane shops for groceries, his wife cleans the house, and they watch the Freemans’ 7-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son. Groceries and utilities go on one shared credit card, which they split down the middle.

“For the first time we have endless amounts of help,” Mrs. Freeman said. “We have more time to do things that we enjoy.”

But with most of the adults working from home, it can be hard to find a quiet place to work, says Mrs. Freeman. She works from her bedroom, where she shoots videos and social media content.



The family agrees that living in a multigenerational household has worked out better than they ever thought it would.
As a child, Mrs. Freeman, who is half Filipino and half white, lived with her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She says that made her more comfortable with the idea of living with her father as an adult.

Mrs. Freeman’s husband also grew up in a four-generation household. She says he understood her desire to have her family closer, since many of his family members also live in Florida.

Pros and Cons
The majority of adults in multigenerational households say living with adult family members has been at least somewhat positive, according to Pew, although nearly a quarter said it was often stressful.

Since 2018, Simon DoQuang, 31, and his wife, Alexis DoQuang, 28, have lived with his father in a four-bedroom house in Ellicott City, Md. Mr. DoQuang’s father, Louis DoQuang, made the down payment and the younger DoQuangs pay the $2,425-a-month mortgage. Louis, 62, has Parkinson’s disease and often needs help. And Simon and Alexis, who are working parents with two children, found themselves looking for child care.


Simon DoQuang and his wife, Alexis DoQuang, had Mr. DoQuang’s mother move in with them to help with child care.
PHOTO: KELLY MITCHELL
In the summer of 2020, they convinced Simon’s mother, Anna DoQuang, to move in, too. She had been living in Las Vegas, apart from her husband. The younger DoQuangs’ oldest son is 4 and goes to daycare, but they needed someone to watch their youngest. Simon offered to pay his mother every month to move in and care for their 2-year-old.

“It’s a blessing to see my grandson grow up,” Anna said.

Simon said his multigenerational living experience is bittersweet. His parents cook, clean and babysit on date nights. But what they are saving in child care and time is costing them in privacy.

“Sometimes I feel like we can’t really be ourselves as a family of four,” Simon said.

His mother says she also misses the privacy of living by herself but that it is too expensive. She says because Alexis’s work schedule changes every week, they need someone to look after their toddler and Louis.

Simon says he and his wife feel they have to keep public displays of affection around the household to a minimum.

“There’s a lot of pros and cons to it,” Simon said. “We’re thinking about possibly selling this house sometime next year so we can separate from my parents.”


link; https://www.wsj.com/articles/m...7?mod=hp_featst_pos4

My mother moved in to our home when my dad passed away and she lives with us now. I am waiting for the day my mother-in-law does the same. It is difficult trying to make/add/convert rooms. Moving to another home is another issue, as costs would increase immensely for us and not an option. It's nice to have her/them here and I wouldn't trade it for anything but it can be difficult at times for any privacy or sanity.

My parents are awesome but unless they had to move in no thanks. A lot of it is people need to have these huge houses and the latest and greatest of everything so moving mom and dad back in releases some of that pressure and creates in home child care. Kinda sad actually.

70% of the population cannot come up with $800 for a car repair which is even sadder.

I get it once the older parents need care because it costs a relative $6000 a month to live in an old folks home which is crazy and will rapidly eat into your savings, especially if you live there for an extended time.

It's a distinct possibility for our family. Dad passed away October of '22 and while mom is okay at the moment it won't take much to force her to sell and move in with me or my younger sister. Mom is Independent but will turn 80 this August. We 3 kids have been discussing it off and on and made contact with a realtor but made it clear we're months or more away from any decision.

Dan

My wife and I will be screwed I guess when we are elderly if we ever need assistance as we have no children.

My dad passed away in April 2016 and my mom now lives alone. I go see her every single weekend to help her with things. She has cancer and can’t do what she used to. My wife and I were just about to pull the trigger on starting the construction of a home with a mother-in-law suite so we could all live together. We spent about $30K for design of the home and surveys and then COVID hit. I guarantee now the same home would cost a ton more so our plans are on hold.

I will do anything for my mom just as my wife will for her parents. They gave us life and raised us. The least we can do is take care of them when they need it. I always tell my mom that I can never repay her for what she has done for me.

I think my kids would be floored if we moved in. We raised them to be independent and it would be very hard to let go of parenting an adult child.

Some of it is cultural, some of it requires better designed/built homes.

The McMansions, built to maximize square footage, with hollow doors, minimal interior insulation, and large open rooms, are miserable with large numbers of people - but walls and doors cost money.

Clear span is very cheap.

My plan is pretty well dependent on having a small house near my niece and nephew, and having enough assets to keep them interested (and they are genuinely lovely kids, but resources to pay for the more unpleasant parts of care, and that there will be something to get in a will, has to help.)

Pretty much, it’s going to come down to a balance between my terror of being old, and me having given up my adrenaline junkie ways/not being able to do those things, well, with middle aged reflexes and trashed joints.

There’s no way my parents could live with us, it would descend into a complete shitshow within 2 days. My wife pretty much can’t stand them anyway after an incident last year where they treated my son and me badly at a family gathering.

quote:

The family agrees that living in a multigenerational household has worked out better than they ever thought it would.
As a child, Mrs. Freeman, who is half Filipino and half white, lived with her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She says that made her more comfortable with the idea of living with her father as an adult.

This used to be more common.
Grandparents helped with children... and when they got too old to care for themselves, children and grandchildren stepped up.

I don't know if I would do it... but never say never.