The week just continues to get worse starting with the unexpected passing of a good friend and now we just wait for gramps.
I have posted a out him in the past as my gramps is a huge reason as to who I am today and will be forever grateful.
Monday my mom found him down in the bathroom and off to the hospital he went. A bunch of tests and scans seemed to point towards a TIA and a minor brain bleed. So a couple days in the ICU and in a regular room and he was back to his regular 91 year old state of weakness and dementia. Likely needing sometime in a rehab facility but with Covid it would be zero visitors and in his state would be nearly impossible for him to be fully separated from granny.
Went up yesterday and stopped at my brother’s place and started discussing thoughts and options. With plans to start tracking down the best memory care facility for him near their Florida residence.
Sadly, we’ll be skipping that step. In all their tests and scans they determined that he also has pancreatic cancer.
Chemo and surgery are not an option for him in his physical state.
Now to decide if in home hospice is the right choice or not. I am leaning towards not as I think it will be much too hard on granny.
It sucks but seeing my grandfather in his current condition and knowing that is not him and has pretty much no quality of life, I admit that even before the cancer news was shared I had thought to myself that I hope he goes peacefully in his sleep soon.

Sorry to hear the bad news. It sounds like you have some tough choices ahead. I have had to deal with home hospice before for some of my loved ones and they are true angels. I'm not sure how Covid has affected all hospice care. I certainly wish you and your family the best during this difficult time.

Jeremy, I’m really sorry to hear that your grandfather isn’t doing well. I have lost two grandmothers in the last year. Both lived full lives 101 and 94, so it was good that they just went peacefully. I hope the same for your grandfather.
Time like this I never really know what to say. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. If you wish to chat outside the forums, you have my number. Feel free to give me a call.

That’s a tough choice and sorry to hear that you have to go through it.

I lost my dad to glioblastoma on Labor Day. He was 88. We used the at home Hospice service the last two months and they were a godsend for my mom during that time. He was able to spend his final days in the comfort of his own home and around family.

That said, my dad was cognizant and did not have dementia. That puts a different spin on the situation. If he needs around the clock care then putting him in a home would likely be best.

If he is still somewhat cognizant, maybe home is best. That way he can be more comfortable and it helps with closure for the family that is there at the time of his passing.

This year just keeps piling on, doesn’t it? I’m so sorry. If it’s a possibility, can you have in home hospice care?
I know of a few families that have had nursing care in their homes until the end. I wish you the best, and I’m very sorry you have to face this so soon after the loss of your friend.

I'm sorry Black, I'm in the same boat as you. Grandparent in home hospice and one of my best friends is dying too.

I am going to see her today, which wouldn't be possible if not for home hospice, and we are planning a going away party for my buddy next weekend. Given the times I'd pick the option that allows family to say goodbye.

Really sorry to hear all that. Prayers sent for wisdom and peace

Unfortunately I've been in your place. It's never easy.

quote:

Originally posted by shoevb:
Sorry to hear the bad news. It sounds like you have some tough choices ahead. I have had to deal with home hospice before for some of my loved ones and they are true angels. I'm not sure how Covid has affected all hospice care. I certainly wish you and your family the best during this difficult time.

This when needed, they are good people doing a good mission for us. Angels indeed. Other than Family they beat a hospital rm hands down. The goal for me was no pain for the ending in a peaceful place. Tears.

Sorry to hear this, Black. It's tough losing a parent or grandparent, particularly to something like this. Keep giving him as much support as you can for any remaining moments of lucidity he may have, and keep all the good memories to strengthen yourself and to share with the rest of your family. Saying a prayer for you all.

So sorry to hear the news, Black. I will say that in my experience, the Hospice folks are amazing people.

So sorry to hear this news about Grandpa. Well, I cant add anything substantive that will help you, but, once when I was very near death, the Doctors had decided to send me for Hospice care. Luckily, I survived that, and did not have to make the trip to Arbor Hospice.
If you wish to talk, you can always contact me via my email which is in my profile.
I will be praying for you Grandparents and you, your wife and your 2 little boys.
-Sid

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather, it's a very tough thing to go through.

lost my father not quite 10 yrs ago to dementia, and a friend to pancreatic cancer a few months ago,


both went thru hospice, and in both instances, hospice care was fantastic (considering what they do, it takes a special person to do hospice)



sorry to hear you need those services for Gramps,

Very sorry to hear about gramps.

Both of my grandfathers passed on more than 20 years ago and I still think of them often.

My maternal grandfather was an amateur radio guy who ignited my interest in electronics and technology. My paternal grandfather was a tough old bird who was convinced that wrestling was real and the moon landing was fake. Yet he taught me a lot about woodcraft, field craft and hard work. The best life lessons.

My condolences to you and your family.

Sorry to hear about your experience. I have a stepfather that has Alzheimer's and is at the point where he forgets where he is and what he is doing. He will surely end up in memory care soon. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he is very healthy otherwise and will probably live quite a while.

Hang in there. He sounds like he was a good man and had a big influence on the person you are.

Sorry to hear. Prayers for all.

Black, I'm very sorry to hear about gramps.
Your thought--I hope he goes peacefully in his sleep soon--reveals your love for him.
Hospice is a wonderful institution; home hospice support has helped the passing of several of my loved ones, and I have been extremely grateful for their presence and care.

Black92LX, I am so sorry. My mom had dementia/pre-Alzheimers and passed at age 92, five years after my dad. Those last years were tough.
God Bless you all and I will keep all of you in my prayers.

quote:

Originally posted by thomjb:
Black92LX, I am so sorry. My mom had dementia/pre-Alzheimers and passed at age 92, five years after my dad. Those last years were tough.
God Bless you all and I will keep all of you in my prayers.

I just want to give a thumbs up to this post. My Aunt, at 56, was dying from cancer in the hospital. She was a nurse. The DR that she worked for had to sign liability before the hospital would allow her to go home. It was a big clusterfuck to get permission to take her home. When I was lifting her out of the car and she saw her house a shit eating grim developed on her face and at that moment in time I KNEW we did the right thing. She passed in her home with her family and dogs with her and it was wonderfully peaceful knowing she was in a place of much love when she passed.

Sorry, I meant to quote sjtill's post about hospice.