I’ve been being plagued lately by very unnerving thoughts... sometimes in dreams, but most of the time it’s in the middle of the night when I wake momentarily to roll over, etc. The thought of my mom calling in the middle of the night to tell me my dad has passed is what I keep having on my mind when I’m sorta in that “twilight” stage of sleep. It’s really kinda stressing me out as it’s happened several times over the past few months I’d guess. Dad isn’t I the best health, he’s on oxygen from years of smoking, has CHF and is in his 80’s. I suppose it’s my subconscious thinking about this actually happening... but I’d just rather it stop! Guess I’m just venting... any suggestions?

Dryfly

Can't believe it's been almost 14 years since I lost my mother. My dad is also in his early 80's and on oxygen with COPD and CHF. Spend as much time with him as you can. I've tried to ask mine about his childhood, what's jobs he's had, cars he's had(he's a car guy).....anything I could think of. Make the most of the time we have left.

Your subconscious is calculating the increasing probability of your father's passing and helping you to resolve the inevitable.

Roll with it. Remember the best days with your dad. Spend time with him. Talk out any un-resolved issues.

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caveat: This is just my gut talking. I have no pedigree in psychology.

It shows you care.

I’m sorry I don’t have any suggestions, but I agree with the others, your subconscious is trying to settle the inevitable so that you can deal with it when the time actually comes.
After my sibling passed (when I was young) I had nightmare after nightmare of each one of my family members dying- that went on for months.

As another poster mentioned, spend as much time as you can- learn history, make notes, and know that he lived a good long life. Death is part of living, and he will always be part of you- both literally and figuratively.

Thank y’all for the insight, makes sense. It’s frustrating when your folks are becoming elderly.

dry fly:
I went thru a similar period with my own parents inevitable passing.

Good advise above, share the moments you have.

One of my best-memories-ever of my own Dad, was his unexpected joy as I fed him individual sections of grapefruit in his final hours.

Very good, thank y’all!

You probably have a low level of magnesium. Magnesium L-Threonate is the best form to use since it is easily absorbed. You probably showing a mid form of PTSD.

...............................................
New Findings for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

While Alzheimer’s is the most urgent demonstration of restoration of brain plasticity by magnesium-L-threonate, it is far from the only potential application for this supplement.

Researchers also found that magnesium-L-threonate has beneficial effects for those suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). 6

Sometimes when our brains form connections, they aren’t good ones. For example, certain objects or events linked with a previous danger triggers fear memories. In healthy people, these fear memories fade in time as the object triggering them is experienced in a safe environment. (Perhaps this is the likely scientific explanation for the phrase “time heals all wounds.”)

For example, if you experienced a house fire, hearing fire engines could reproduce the feelings of fear experienced from the fire itself. In time, that feeling will fade when the triggering event is experienced in a safe environment.

Unfortunately, in people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, that fear response does not fade with time. This is likely due to the fact that post-traumatic stress disorder induces a sharp reduction in brain plasticity.21-24

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Magnesium, the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, is known to be a co-factor for more than 300 reactions catalyzed by enzymes, including those essential for energy release from food and conversion to cellular work through formation of adenosine triphosphate, or ATP, in mitochondria. Magnesium is also required for the synthesis of DNA and RNA.27

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https://www.lifeextension.com/...-brain-aging/page-01

Had this too at the beginning of last week after my SIL passed away.
Talking is best. Get out what you're feeling to a friend or family member.
My daughter had 100 questions after last weekend and we sat down together and talked.
This was her first really close loss of a family member she could comprehend. She was 6 when my Mom passed and couldn't quite grasp the finality.

Freud talked of Dreams being the royal road to the Unconscious. He was not incorrect. The dream concerns anxiety about your own mortality as well as that of your father. The fact that it is recurring is significant. Only you can decide as to how to best deal with the anxiety.

Very good info guys, it’s much appreciated. @ 41, I may have a touch of ptsd already from the decade of being a paramedic.

quote:

It shows you care.

This is literally true. May God be with you during this difficult time and be a comfort to you and your family.

Also maybe get checked for Apnea. Funky twilight dreams can occur with Apnea.

quote:

Apnea

What SmithNSig said

Apnea was my issues with wild horrible dreams.
Its a easy test to take - overnight kit from your Doctor or even Dentist. Saved my bacon.

another famous Psychiatrist, Frederick "Fritz" Perls, said "A dream is a letter to yourself".

Great thoughts and responses folks.. I’ve read them all and thank you again. I do have sleep apnea btw, but use a cpap.

I use to have odd weird unpleasant dreams, and cut out all chocolate, ice cream and sweets after 8 o'clock. I kid you not all that went away. I had a piece of chocolate cake at a friends house the other night and had a terrible dream. weird I know.

dry-fly, anything that bothers you enough during your conscious waking hours is likely to follow you into your dreams/night mares as well...been there, done that.

In fact, as a side note, as a kid I had two reoccurring scary dreams...both of them in animation...as I was my real life action self but everything else in the dream was animated.

I've had some long term serious health issues and the doctors put me on various meds. At one point I started having disturbing twisted, sometimes violent dreams. I have no way of knowing for certain, but I believe that either a certain prescribed med, or perhaps a combination of meds, may have been causing or contributing to my nightmares.

Also, I've been told by some who take certain herbal supplements that they have bizarre or unusual dreams...any chance you have gone on some new meds or supplements recently?

^^^this. I have been on Bactrim (an antibiotic) for the past week and every night I have some weird, vivid dream. In last night’s, I wired up a light fixture in my parents’ (who have been dead for years) house and when I turned the switch on the wires began to glow red hot. I realized then that it was a 12v fixture being supplied with 120v current, and that I’d better get some clothes on before my mom’s bridge group arrived.