Opossum breaks into liquor store, drinks bourbon, sobers up at wildlife refuge

The Associated PressUpdated Dec 2, 1:21 PM; Posted Dec 2, 1:21 PM

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- An opossum that apparently drank bourbon after breaking into a Florida liquor store sobered up at a wildlife rescue center and was released unharmed.

Emerald Coast Wildlife Refuge officials say the opossum was brought in by a Fort Walton Beach, Florida, police officer on Nov. 24. A liquor store employee found the animal next to a broken and empty bottle of bourbon.

"A worker there found the opossum up on a shelf next to a cracked open bottle of liquor with nothing in it," said Michelle Pettis, a technician at the refuge. "She definitely wasn't fully acting normal."

Pettis told the Panama City News Herald the female opossum appeared disoriented, was excessively salivating and was pale. The staff pumped the marsupial full of fluids and cared for her as she sobered up.

"We loaded her up with fluids to help flush out any alcohol toxins," Pettis said. "She was good a couple of days later."

Pettis says the opossum did not appear to have a hangover.

The store owner, Cash Moore, says he never had an opossum break in before.

"She came in from the outside and was up in the rafters, and when she came through she knocked a bottle of liquor off the shelf," Moore said. "When she got down on the floor she drank the whole damn bottle."

"But it just goes to show that even the animals are impressed with Cash's," he said.

The animal was released on Thursday.

http://www.pennlive.com/nation...ncart_river_home_pop

I wish the story said what brand of bourbon, because there is no way on God's green earth I'd drink what a possum drank.

quote:

The animal was released on Thursday.

What? No bail bond or charges filed?

I have the feeling that that possum is going to be a regular at them joint thar.

Seriously-- well, as serious as one can be about this story-- that is an amazing amount of bourbon for the possum to have consumed. And lived. Just think about the alcohol to body weight ratio.

I don't think that possum drank alone. I think it was a full-blown possum party in that store, maybe a possum drunken orgy, half a dozen, maybe a dozen boozed-up possums. And that possum was just the one too blitzed to get out before the owner returned.

The stories that possum could tell! If she could only remember....

Excellent! My feel good news story of the day.

quote:

Originally posted by justjoe:
Seriously-- well, as serious as one can be about this story-- that is an amazing amount of bourbon for the possum to have consumed. And lived. Just think about the alcohol to body weight ratio.

I don't think that possum drank alone. I think it was a full-blown possum party in that store, maybe a possum drunken orgy, half a dozen, maybe a dozen boozed-up possums. And that possum was just the one too blitzed to get out before the owner returned.

The stories that possum could tell! If she could only remember....

It was a Teenage Possum Gang.

Which would be a great name for a garage band that plays bluegrass.

quote:

Originally posted by Sig2340:
I wish the story said what brand of bourbon, because there is no way on God's green earth I'd drink what a possum drank.

It was probably Woodford Reserve and I wouldn't drink that Horse Piss either. BTW, my preference for bourbon is Buffalo Trace single cask or Blanton's if I'm feeling a bit flush.

quote:

Originally posted by Sig2340:
I wish the story said what brand of bourbon, because there is no way on God's green earth I'd drink what a possum drank.

White Dog.

Karl Childers voice on/
"I reckon that thars one way to marinade a possum, mmm-hmm."

I would get calls from alarmed residents who reported rabid raccoons.
Nope. Shitfaced. The was a berry that would ferment and the raccoons would eat them. They would then stagger around, fall off and out of things, etc. My advice to citizens was to leave Mr. Coon alone until he sobers up. No one wants their buzz harshed, least of all a raccoon.

That is surprising.
Thought opossums preferred Bombay Sapphire gin.

Guess they are going to have to change the saying. Sorry skunks, it's now "drunk as a opossum".

White dog isn't bourbon. Its a young pretender. It ain't bourbon until its spent its time in jail. In a virgin oak barrel no less. Oh, and white dog can be kind of harsh.

quote:

Originally posted by Scooter123:

It was probably Woodford Reserve and I wouldn't drink that Horse Piss either.

Horse piss? Woodford Reserve?

I'm sure the little dude passed out long before he finished the bottle. The angels took the rest.

^^^ Dudette. A she. I'm thinking maybe the madame of a traveling possum bordello.

(How's that for a bluegrass garage-band? "The Traveling Possum Bordello.").

It was medicinal. Just trying to refill the barrel. (Of course hers was shrunk for opossum size)

First we had Florida Man. Now we have Florida Opossum.

quote:

Originally posted by Balzé Halzé:

quote:

Originally posted by Scooter123:

It was probably Woodford Reserve and I wouldn't drink that Horse Piss either.

Horse piss? Woodford Reserve?

Indeed.

Nothing piss-y about Woodford.