Marriage quotes

You can't truly call yourself "peaceful" unless you are capable of great violence. If you're not capable of great violence, you're not peaceful, you're harmless.

NRA Benefactor/Patriot Member

January 03, 2019, 08:34 AM

benny6

What’s the one food that makes women lose all interest in sex?..........

Wedding cake.

Tony.

January 03, 2019, 08:41 AM

pbslinger

Why is divorce so expensive? Because its worth it.

Myself and coworkers were advising a young coworker on if he should get married. I asked him who he would entrust if only one person was to provide you with food, water and air the rest of his life. After he pondered this for a while I told him marriage and sex is similar.

I described marriage to him with a deterring graphic: lay your dick on the table and smack it with a hammer. Then say: "Thank you dear, I'll have another"

I'm really not this cynical about marriage, I was just trying to be helpful.

January 03, 2019, 08:57 AM

Zeus007

Happy wife.Girl friend, is equals to a happy home/Life.

January 03, 2019, 09:01 AM

nasig

do you know why most men die before their wife?
because they want to

January 03, 2019, 09:09 AM

NK402

quote:
Originally posted by Zeus007:
Happy wife.Girl friend, is equals to a happy home/Life.

I'm sorry. Run that by me again?

January 03, 2019, 10:05 AM

P210

Bachelors don’t live as long but married men want to die more.

January 03, 2019, 10:26 AM

Fenris

Oscar Wilde famously said, “Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.”

January 03, 2019, 12:30 PM

sigfreund

“Only when the discussion is about marriage will the average man brag about how stupid and easily manipulated he was.”

January 03, 2019, 01:04 PM

M-11

"You forgot the most important one.... Yes Dear"

About a month after we were married i said that. The response was: "If you ever say that again, like that, there will be issues." That was 43 yrs ago.

No peace today, no piece tonight.

"Common sense is wisdom with its sleeves rolled up." -Kyle Farnsworth
"Freedom of Speech does not guarantee freedom from consequences." -Mike Rowe
"Democracies aren't overthrown, they're given away." -George Lucas

January 03, 2019, 01:57 PM

RichardC

Let thy fountain be blessed: And rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; And be thou ravished always with her love

January 03, 2019, 02:21 PM

Johnny 3eagles

"Take your stuff and get out and don't come back"

If you're goin' through hell, keep on going.
Don't slow down. If you're scared don't show it.
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there.

NRA ENDOWMENT LIFE MEMBER

January 03, 2019, 02:46 PM

tatortodd

quote:
Originally posted by Johnny 3eagles:
"Take your stuff and get out and don't come back"

My coworker had a similar version, "Let's play a game, it's called pack your shit and get!"

Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.

January 03, 2019, 03:08 PM

Fenris

“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
~Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

January 03, 2019, 03:26 PM

slabsides45

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to...

________________________________________________

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving."
-Dr. Adrian Rogers

January 03, 2019, 04:07 PM

pbslinger

"If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it."