John was a country farmer from southern MS.

He had to take a train up to Memphis on business.

John was sitting there minding his own business when this Yankee fellow walked up to him with a clip board and in a cocky voice asked him his name.

John told the Yankee “my name is John, why do you want to know?”

The Yankee said “ I am taking names and then I am going to kick butt. I can whoop any man walking.”

The Yankee then hurried off to the next car taking more names.

John sat there for a minute thinking about what the Yankee had said and started to get madder and madder. Who did that Yankee think he was, John asked himself. He doesn’t even know me, why would he want to whoop me?

So John got up and went looking for the Yankee. When he found him he went up to him and said, “Hey mister, I don’t appreciate you writing my name down on your list and then telling me you were going to whoop my butt. As a matter of fact, I don’t think you can whoop my butt.”

The Yankee looked at John and said “you really don’t think I can whoop your butt?”

John said, “No I don’t think you can.”

The Yankee looked at John and said “well then, I am going to take your name off the list.”

This message has been edited. Last edited by: parabellum,

Made me chuckle

Jerry Clower original.

Do you know how a Yankee is like a hemorrhoid?


The ones that come down and go back up aren't too bad, but the really bad ones come down and stay.



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To balance that one:


A good ole boy in south Alabama is speeding down a two lane road in his pick-up truck when a state trooper spots him and pulls him over. The trooper walks up to the good ole boy and...

Trooper: "Got any ID?"

Good Ole Boy: " 'bout wut?"


.

As the wedding day approached for a young Jewish couple in a small town in Mississippi, the local Rabbi was called away for a family emergency, so the young couple sent away to New York for a traveling Rabbi, who happened to be Hasidic, to perform the marriage ceremony.

The town was small enough that the train did not normally stop, unless there was an arriving or departing passenger; on the rare occasions when there was an arrival, the curiosity seekers would gather at the train station, so there was a small crowd at the station on the day of the Rabbi's arrival.

The train stopped. The Rabbi got off. The crowd stared at him.



The Rabbi looked at them and asked, "What? You never saw a Yankee before?"

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What’s the difference between a Yankee and a damn Yankee?

A Yankee goes south to vacation or visit and then goes back home to Yankeeland.

A damn Yankee does the same but soon shows up in a U-Haul moving van and stays in the South.



I have an ex-wife from Brooklyn and a ex-brother in law from the Bronx. I use the term Cranky Yankee for both.
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This Yankee loves to visit the south. Great food, nice people, beautiful scenery, but... After two weeks the humidity kills me. No worries about me moving out of Utah.

And they talk about southern hospitality?

Bob