Yesterday I received a call from a friend that he was checking himself into a rehab location and that he'll be there for about a month.
He said he didn't want anyone there and that he needed to do this on his own. I know the girlfriend and she was just as surprised as anyone.
I'm not going to lie, this hit hard as this is a person I drank with regularly. Did I know? Pretty much and the problem is also that I am wondering if I need to sit myself down and evaluate my possible problem as well. Do I need to do the same thing or can I moderate myself.
I know, if you have to ask yourself these type of questions, then you have a problem. I'm just not sure I need the type of help he does.
He has missed days of work because of hangovers. Failed relationships. Obnoxious when he's drunk(not to me as I've known him most of his life) and more.
Since I found out yesterday, I have not had a drop. It's not that I'm scared, I just keep thinking, what if I have to do that sometime?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: joatmonv,

You have some options. Drop by an AA meeting and see if anything they are saying applies. The ones in your area are easily found. Choice two is to see a psychologist who treats addictions or a drug and alcohol counselor. You cannot effectively diagnose yourself.

BTW AA is free and your health insurance should cover an evaluation by a trained professional.

Maybe it's time to be evaluated just to be sure. I know a couple of people that were worried and quit on their own. It can be done.

Jim

Go to a few AA MEETING AND LISTEN. You will know if you fit after a couple meetings.
And your friend if the rehab works will be able to fill in the blanks.
After all why not go where the experts are. Kind of like asking for gun help on a gun forum. Been where you are over 30 yrs ago.

I have the same issue. For me it’s tasty whiskey. Once I start, I’ll drink too much. I can moderate beers, but hard alcohol I cannot drink in moderation.

I have made it a point to not have anything other than beer at the house. Now I’m enjoying life quite well.

On that note, I have never missed work due to a hangover. Four Advil, 16oz Red Bull and a 750ml bottle of San Pelligrino sparkling water and I was right as rain.

I prefer having two or three beers and calling it good.

quote:

Originally posted by Jimbo54:
Maybe it's time to be evaluated just to be sure. I know a couple of people that were worried and quit on their own. It can be done.

Jim

Thanks Jim. I think that's my next action.

quote:

Originally posted by joatmonv:
and the problem is also that I am wondering if I need to sit myself down and evaluate my possible problem as well.
...
He has missed days of work because of hangovers. Failed relationships. Obnoxious when he's drunk(not to me as I've known him most of his life) and more.

The latter part is a good initial starting point for determining the former. It's pretty black and white that if you're experiencing the latter kind of problems, or anything similar where your drinking is having an obvious negative impact on your life/health/job/relationships in ways like that, then you've got a problem.

Climbed on the wagon Wed last week myself. Between 2 yrs of Hurricane Michael and rolling right in to this Covid crap - I started finding too much relaxation in beers and booze.

Gotta get my mind right and remember how to tell myself "no" again.

Best of luck to you!


Rick

quote:

Originally posted by RIC.45:
Climbed on the wagon Wed last week myself. Between 2 yrs of Hurricane Michael and rolling right in to this Covid crap - I started finding too much relaxation in beers and booze.

Gotta get my mind right and remember how to tell myself "no" again.

Best of luck to you!


Rick

You too Rick.

I used to drink heavily. VERY heavily, in fact.

While in the Navy towards the end I’d put away a 12 pack a night. That continued on for several years after I got out. I never missed work, but was hung over 7 days a week. It wasn’t unheard of for me to drink 12-18 beers a night.

Then back in 2010 I realized the path I was heading down, and did some self reflecting. I realized that I was at the precipice of following in my parent’s footsteps (my mom is an alcoholic and my dad used to drink a lot too but not as much as I did...maybe a 6 pack a night). So I quit drinking one day. Got home from work and decided to have a big glass of water instead of starting to pound the beers...and it turned into two days, then three. After about 6 months I poured the rest of the 24 pack I had sitting by the fridge down the drain. I kept it there to remind myself that it was MY choice to stop and that I was in control.

It’s been over 10 years now without an ounce of alcohol....and I don’t miss it one bit.

quote:

Originally posted by Largefarva:
I used to drink heavily. VERY heavily, in fact....
It’s been over 10 years now without an ounce of alcohol....and I don’t miss it one bit.

That is awesome and you should be proud of yourself!!!

Some can handle and some cannot.
IF you can then there is no problem.
IF you can't then do something about it.
Otherwise sitting around felling sorry for yourself and worrying is not real smart, IMO.
Some feel guilty when it is not warranted.
YMMV

PS a lot of us were a bit on the foolish side when we are young and could handle it.
It is when you get older that you have to know your limitations. [/dirty harry]

I think your introspection sounds wonderful. There are many people out there who are functional - you could even say productive - alcoholics. That doesn't change the fact that they are dependent on alcohol as much as they are food & water.

When you have a compulsion or vice, it's easy to rationalize, "I'm not as bad as ___," such as your friend. In other words, it's easy to convince yourself you don't have a problem if you're always comparing yourself to worse/worst case scenarios. A pack-a-day smoker isn't as bad as someone who smokes 2-3 packs per day, but if we're being honest, a pack per day is still a lot and is definitely an addicition.

I like what Largefarva did. Can you stop drinking w/o feeling as if something is missing in your life? Do you suffer from withdrawal if you stop drinking? If you answer 'no' to the former and 'yes' to that latter, then you're probably an alcoholic.

Good for you for questioning. Read the first chapter of Gorge W. Bush's Decision Point's. He was in the same place you are. He points out that without the decision to address his drinking the rest of the book wouldn't exist. God's speed.

I know I have a potential problem, so I moderate myself.

I quit about 20 years ago. Not a drop since. I was a great beer and gin drinker but not a problem drinker. I could easily drink a case a day when camping but generally had one or two after work. Maybe a 6 pack while golfing.

While smoking will kill you, drinking has its own set of penalties. Drunk driving, social embarrassment, failed relationships, financial considerations and some amount of health issues. When I quit, I had to find new friends and new social activities - but it was worth it. Was it hard to quit? Not at all when I made the decision. Now I never get nervous when a cop is following me.

Good luck,
Mike

A lot of times, it’s just habit...come home drink a few...next day rinse and repeat...breaking the habit is the hard thing.

Looking at it is a step that you should take, evaluate your habits. And make changes if needed.

I no longer drink like I did when I was a sailor..plus I’m old now and hangovers suck. I have one or two drinks in the evening and never go overboard. But according to the doctors and the WHO that many drinks in a week is too much. It never changes my demeanor or do I get drunk...

The spouse and I both come from a long line of alcoholics. We've witnessed how alcoholism destroys individuals and the negative affects on nondrinking family members. We simply do not consume alcohol.

When I worked 2nd shift and single, I used to drink every night after work. We closed one bar down and move on to the next until they closed and then finished at a third bar. The owner would lock the door and go to bed leaving us to drink and leave whenever we wanted. I realized the path I was heading down and changed myself. Transferred to another department and quit hanging out with the people I worked with. If I hadn't done those changes, I would have been like all of the regulars at the bar. I do continue to drink, but in moderation, as in one or two a week if that.

If you feel you have a problem, get help. Who cares what others may say about you. You need to look out for number one. Always. The first step is realizing you may have a problem, the next steps are up to you. Whether they are easy or difficult is your choice. You may hurt "friends" but if they are pissed off at you for quitting, are they truly friends?

Best of luck to you, and if you need to chat, we are all here for you. My email is in my profile as most are that are posting in your thread.

Why not make a decision to take at least a month away from alcohol. If you can't stay away from it for the month then you know it is out of control.