SIGforum
Guy from my wife's past tracked her down - UPDATE pg. 5

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/6460079264

November 10, 2019, 12:26 PM
tacfoley
Guy from my wife's past tracked her down - UPDATE pg. 5
There are times when one of those spiffy aerosol air horns can be VERY useful.
November 10, 2019, 01:24 PM
jimmy123x
quote:
Originally posted by Outnumbered:
Except 1) she's not on Fakebook, 2) she's declined him the last 2 times he tracked her down outta the blue (without Fakebook), and he's done it a third time now, plus she's married and has a different last name. How many times does a girl need to say no to the same guy before it's considered weird in your book? And smschulz, I'm not a pant-shitter, so no need to "feel sorry for me", pal. Roll Eyes


He's sent her a text or tried to call her once a decade. Big deal. It's not like the guy is trying to contact her monthly. He probably feels your wife is the one that got away......most all have one of those. I honestly wouldn't worry about it and don't even think it's weird. If it was often, even once a year, than I would think it's weird. Honestly, you don't even know why he's trying to contact her at this point. AND, you're not even sure it is him who is trying to contact her. Could be anyone from her past, perhaps even someone trying to notify her for a High School reunion or an old high school girl friend.

I'm 42, about a year ago my mother comes over for dinner one night and brings photo's from my prom night over that she found, out of the blue. She proceeds to tell me that I should contact the girl I took to prom 25 years ago and see if she wants some of them, as my mom wishes she still had pictures from hers. I haven't talked to her since then. I look the girl up, it appears she's single and surprisingly after all of this time, she only lives a mile from me. I contact her on facebook, we exchange texts but she tells me she's getting married to a guy she's been dating for 13 years, and this and that, I send her the pictures and while we're friends on facebook now, haven't exchanged texts with her since then...…...even though I was single at the time I contacted her on facebook.
November 10, 2019, 01:48 PM
12131
quote:
Originally posted by jimmy123x:
quote:
Originally posted by Outnumbered:
Except 1) she's not on Fakebook, 2) she's declined him the last 2 times he tracked her down outta the blue (without Fakebook), and he's done it a third time now, plus she's married and has a different last name. How many times does a girl need to say no to the same guy before it's considered weird in your book? And smschulz, I'm not a pant-shitter, so no need to "feel sorry for me", pal. Roll Eyes


He's sent her a text or tried to call her once a decade. Big deal. It's not like the guy is trying to contact her monthly. He probably feels your wife is the one that got away......most all have one of those. I honestly wouldn't worry about it and don't even think it's weird. If it was often, even once a year, than I would think it's weird. Honestly, you don't even know why he's trying to contact her at this point. AND, you're not even sure it is him who is trying to contact her. Could be anyone from her past, perhaps even someone trying to notify her for a High School reunion or an old high school girl friend.

Did you read this part? "...received a text from a number she doesn't know this morning, asking if it was her (by maiden name). We looked up the number, and when she saw the name, she said "oh my gosh this guy is some kind of stalker",..."

quote:
I'm 42, about a year ago my mother comes over for dinner one night and brings photo's from my prom night over that she found, out of the blue. She proceeds to tell me that I should contact the girl I took to prom 25 years ago and see if she wants some of them, as my mom wishes she still had pictures from hers. I haven't talked to her since then. I look the girl up, it appears she's single and surprisingly after all of this time, she only lives a mile from me. I contact her on facebook, we exchange texts but she tells me she's getting married to a guy she's been dating for 13 years, and this and that, I send her the pictures and while we're friends on facebook now, haven't exchanged texts with her since then...…...even though I was single at the time I contacted her on facebook.

Try to put your wife in OP's wife's exact situation, instead of citing your example, which is nothing similar to hers.

- OP's wife went out with creep a few times in college. She declined his advances.

- After college, she got married. Creep looked her up and made contact, and I'm guessing it wasn't just to shoot the breeze.

- After she got divorced, creep tried to make advances again, even though he was married at the time. <--- Did some of you manage to miss this part?

- And now, creep managed to track her down again.

Still don't think it's a big deal?


Q






November 10, 2019, 03:00 PM
jimmy123x
quote:
Originally posted by 12131:
quote:
Originally posted by jimmy123x:
quote:
Originally posted by Outnumbered:
Except 1) she's not on Fakebook, 2) she's declined him the last 2 times he tracked her down outta the blue (without Fakebook), and he's done it a third time now, plus she's married and has a different last name. How many times does a girl need to say no to the same guy before it's considered weird in your book? And smschulz, I'm not a pant-shitter, so no need to "feel sorry for me", pal. Roll Eyes


He's sent her a text or tried to call her once a decade. Big deal. It's not like the guy is trying to contact her monthly. He probably feels your wife is the one that got away......most all have one of those. I honestly wouldn't worry about it and don't even think it's weird. If it was often, even once a year, than I would think it's weird. Honestly, you don't even know why he's trying to contact her at this point. AND, you're not even sure it is him who is trying to contact her. Could be anyone from her past, perhaps even someone trying to notify her for a High School reunion or an old high school girl friend.

Did you read this part? "...received a text from a number she doesn't know this morning, asking if it was her (by maiden name). We looked up the number, and when she saw the name, she said "oh my gosh this guy is some kind of stalker",..."

quote:
I'm 42, about a year ago my mother comes over for dinner one night and brings photo's from my prom night over that she found, out of the blue. She proceeds to tell me that I should contact the girl I took to prom 25 years ago and see if she wants some of them, as my mom wishes she still had pictures from hers. I haven't talked to her since then. I look the girl up, it appears she's single and surprisingly after all of this time, she only lives a mile from me. I contact her on facebook, we exchange texts but she tells me she's getting married to a guy she's been dating for 13 years, and this and that, I send her the pictures and while we're friends on facebook now, haven't exchanged texts with her since then...…...even though I was single at the time I contacted her on facebook.

Try to put your wife in OP's wife's exact situation, instead of citing your example, which is nothing similar to hers.

- OP's wife went out with creep a few times in college. She declined his advances.

- After college, she got married. Creep looked her up and made contact, and I'm guessing it wasn't just to shoot the breeze.

- After she got divorced, creep tried to make advances again, even though he was married at the time. <--- Did some of you manage to miss this part?

- And now, creep managed to track her down again.

Still don't think it's a big deal?


He might have been in the process of getting divorced when he contacted her the last time, who knows the situation.

If it was on a more frequent basis than once every 10 years, I would. But once every ten years, simply tells me that he is hopeful and can't let go of the past, but nothing near crazy or stalker material. Monthly or even yearly, YES. Every 10 years, NO. Nowadays with social media and the internet, it's common for people to look up (not necessarily contact) people way in their past......whether it's simply out of curiosity, or a few old High School friends together wondering what became of so and so. etc.

Do you recommend that the OP calls him and threatens him in some manner? Calls the police on him? Or? Over a normal text message?
November 10, 2019, 03:07 PM
cas
Wow, this thread is turning out just like so many others! Shocking.

Roll Eyes


_____________________________________________________
Sliced bread, the greatest thing since the 1911.

November 10, 2019, 03:10 PM
Outnumbered
He sent another message last night, a random screenshot pic from a football game score? Then another a bit ago saying "you could at least respond, is this Xxxxx's phone"?

So I called our county DA friend, and she recommended that if we wanted to have something to stand on, in case he showed up or kept calling, saying; "Hi John Doe, this is Xxxxx, please stop contacting me", could be helpful in the future.

So she sent that, and he replied "OK". Then another text; "Didn't expect that". Hopefully, that's the end of the line for this adventure.

As some LEOs and other folks here may have mentioned - at this point, since everyone knows who everyone is, and has acknowledged being put on notice that she wants him to go away, hereafter he's gonna have legal issues if there's any more contact.
November 10, 2019, 03:11 PM
12131
quote:
Originally posted by cas:
Wow, this thread is turning out just like so many others! Shocking.

Roll Eyes

Wow, what useful discussion. Shocking. Big Grin


Q






November 10, 2019, 03:12 PM
cas
Keep fighting Jimmy!!!


_____________________________________________________
Sliced bread, the greatest thing since the 1911.

November 10, 2019, 05:28 PM
jimmy123x
quote:
Originally posted by cas:
Keep fighting Jimmy!!!


I'm not and don't care. I responded to someone that quoted and responded directly to me. Just seems like everyone wants to completely over react, over a guy sending a non threatening text once every 10 years saying hello. It seems pretty innocent to me, and quite frankly I have much more important things to worry about in life than something like this.

If anyone from high school contacted me 25 years later that I once knew, I'd talk to them, unless they were a complete jerk in high school.

But CAS, it appears you want to repeatedly enter into someone else's thread and post several useless posts that have nothing to do with the thread, and are simply noise.
November 10, 2019, 05:52 PM
Georgeair
quote:
If anyone from high school contacted me 25 years later that I once knew, I'd talk to them, unless they were a complete jerk in high school.


Oh.

This explains why no one picks up my calls.



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

November 10, 2019, 06:00 PM
Longbow_06
You know you can report it to the local PD/SD.
They will send an officer to see this guy, and suggest that he stop.
At that point, he contacts again, it becomes a lot more serious for him.
November 10, 2019, 06:21 PM
Outnumbered
quote:
Originally posted by Longbow_06:
You know you can report it to the local PD/SD.
They will send an officer to see this guy, and suggest that he stop.
At that point, he contacts again, it becomes a lot more serious for him.


Giving him the benefit of the doubt, she texted him back saying "stop contacting me". Now, if he doesn't stop, the PD has something to work with.


jimmy123 - not sure if you only quickly skimmed my OP, but he didn't "send a hello text every 10 years". He looked her up (didn't have her number, 3 different numbers, 3 different times), and called her trying to get back into her life after she declined his furthering advances in college. And yes, contrary to your statement, we do know who he is because we web-searched the number from the caller ID in the text log. That was also clear in my original post.

She declined him those times as well, in short order, and cut him off those times. This isn't an old high school pal reaching out to say "what's up?", or an old romance that parted on nice terms, hoping to revisit. This is a is/was married man texting random search result numbers to a married woman (he knows - her last name is different in the search results, and she lives in a different city than when he last tracked her down); someone who has told him "not interested" at least 3 times in the past.

Maybe you're a really innocent guy who thinks well of other people, and if that's the case, no worries. It just seems you're being naively dismissive when I've given enough info for you to at least have an inkling of a clue about what this guy wants.
November 10, 2019, 06:29 PM
RHINOWSO
Yeah, for all those saying this is somehow innocent romantic bullshit... nope.

It's a sleazy guy looking to have an affair with a married woman, pure and simple.

And Outnumbered, it's jimmy123 - expect what you see - he often weighs in with authoritative comments that make little to no sense.
November 10, 2019, 06:38 PM
corsair
Middle aged guy, already married, reaching out to a a married woman who was also a former interest at a much younger age, who's also married. Roll Eyes

Did the right thing. 'please stop contacting me', sets the bar for both the relationship and for a legal standing.

This guy was out thinking he could get in there, when he had no chance decades before. Hope there's no more contact or, coincidental run-in's.
November 10, 2019, 08:59 PM
12131
Jimmy refused to acknowlege the situation, even after it was spelled out, incidence by incidence, in separate paragraphs. Continued to insert his personal experience into the case, when it bears zero resemblance.

And, asked what I would recommend to OP, when the answer is right on page 1, just a couple of posts below the OP. Okaaayyyy.


Q






November 10, 2019, 09:08 PM
jimmy123x
quote:
Originally posted by Outnumbered:
quote:
Originally posted by Longbow_06:
You know you can report it to the local PD/SD.
They will send an officer to see this guy, and suggest that he stop.
At that point, he contacts again, it becomes a lot more serious for him.


Giving him the benefit of the doubt, she texted him back saying "stop contacting me". Now, if he doesn't stop, the PD has something to work with.


jimmy123 - not sure if you only quickly skimmed my OP, but he didn't "send a hello text every 10 years". He looked her up (didn't have her number, 3 different numbers, 3 different times), and called her trying to get back into her life after she declined his furthering advances in college. And yes, contrary to your statement, we do know who he is because we web-searched the number from the caller ID in the text log. That was also clear in my original post.

She declined him those times as well, in short order, and cut him off those times. This isn't an old high school pal reaching out to say "what's up?", or an old romance that parted on nice terms, hoping to revisit. This is a is/was married man texting random search result numbers to a married woman (he knows - her last name is different in the search results, and she lives in a different city than when he last tracked her down); someone who has told him "not interested" at least 3 times in the past.

Maybe you're a really innocent guy who thinks well of other people, and if that's the case, no worries. It just seems you're being naively dismissive when I've given enough info for you to at least have an inkling of a clue about what this guy wants.


You stated in your OP that the guy called her twice, right after High School, and that this (3rd time) time he contacted her 15 YEARS LATER. 15 years!

Yeah, he's probably hoping to date or speak to your wife again. So what. He hasn't exactly made a career out of contacting her, considering the last time he tried to call her was over 15 years ago. You can find anyone's number on the internet in seconds these days.

Actually, you have no idea why he's contacting her because she hasn't responded to his texts to find out. Could be any number of reasons. Perhaps he is dieing, perhaps a mutual friend is, who knows. But, he probably feels that your wife is the one that got away, you should be thrilled.

Does the guy even live within 100 miles of you?

What I'm getting at, is at this point the entire thing is a non issue, not even worth creating a thread or talking about, let alone calling the police over. If he persistently contacted her, it would be one thing. But a guy she dated in High School that contacted your wife in a normal manner (non-sexual/non aggressive), for the first time in 15 years, is hardly worth worrying or even thinking about at this point.

Rhinowso- someone would have to be completely dillusional to think they could call someone up that they haven't spoken to in over 15 years, haven't seen in 20 years, and have an affair with them. Seriously?????
November 10, 2019, 09:14 PM
RHINOWSO
quote:
Originally posted by jimmy123x:
Rhinowso- someone would have to be completely dillusional to think they could call someone up that they haven't spoken to in over 15 years, haven't seen in 20 years, and have an affair with them. Seriously?????

Thanks for making my point Jimmy Boi....



Sometimes it's like taking candy from a baby...

Because I'm sure they guy was just calling to talk, maybe start a sewing circle, or soliciting memberships for the yacht club...


November 10, 2019, 09:15 PM
Leemur
Dude is fishing for a piece of ass. I’ll bet money on that one.
November 10, 2019, 09:19 PM
Outnumbered
Dearest jimmy1234567, you clearly have reading comprehension issues. I said college (not high school) then again a few years later. He's been told to bugger off, multiple times and every so often, keeps coming back. He was/is romantically interested in her, and this time chose to text a number for an obviously married woman. Stop playing "what if" and "maybe not" games. It's disingenuous, even for you. Feel free to uninvite yourself from my thread; you're not simply disagreeing, you're clearly WAY out in left field, again.
November 10, 2019, 09:23 PM
gearhounds
quote:
Originally posted by Leemur:
Dude is fishing for a piece of ass. I’ll bet money on that one.

Exactly this. Does anyone seriously doubt this? I wonder how creepy dudes wife would react? “Oh that’s just so-and-so, reaching out to old love interests after years have passed by with clear indications of a desire to be left alone”. The guy is a sneaking, slinking piece of shit.




“Remember to get vaccinated or a vaccinated person might get sick from a virus they got vaccinated against because you’re not vaccinated.” - author unknown