Some of you might remember my past posts on my adventures in coaching over the past three years.

It’s been full of highs and lows but I’d like to share a success story with you today that will hopefully make you smile.

My girls soccer team went from a winless first season to its first win last season to absolutely dominating this year. I’ve been fortunate to see my few returning players develop and improve year after year as well as watching first time soccer players absolutely shock me with their speed at picking up the beautiful sport.

Last week we had a double header. In practice at the very end of a scrimmage one of my best defensive players was injured and is now out for the season. Bummer. Then at the very end of practice my star goalie/keeper tells me she won’t be able to make either game because of a prior commitment. Of course I handle it with kindness and let her know that’s fine but in the back of my head I starting thinking to myself “oh crap this could be a brutal double header against to of the better teams in the league”.

My worries were totally unfounded. I watched a team that herded up and couldn’t stay in position in practice actually spread out and pass. That practice was so bad my wife and assistant coach said she wasn’t sure she wanted to help out any more because they didn’t listen. Apparently they were listening.

For 9-10 girls I was shocked and I mean truly shocked by the caliber of soccer I got to watch last week. We won the first game 2-1 in a very even and hard fought game. The next game was against a different team, the only one to beat us this season.

We owned the midfield and dominated possession of the ball. We outshot them 10-1 in the first half but soccer can be cruel to you and we were down 1-0 at half because the other team managed to score on a break away. They probably only had 3 shots on goal that half. Their goalie saved them BIGTIME by running out aggressively and leaving her goal open. I said “she is playing damn risky ball”.

I was right. In the second half their keeper ran out to stop my most aggressive forward from shooting on the goal after she burned their defenses. Their keeper thought being close would cause my striker to back off. She didn’t! The keeper caught a high speed soccer ball to the face and was out for the rest of the game. The other side grumbled mightily at losing their keeper.

They were angling for accommodations due to our speed and physicality and managed to get a penalty kick on a bullshit call. One of my new players was in the pressure cooker playing keeper for her first time during a tied game. The kick was wide right so the terrible call didn’t hurt us and oh boy did she look relieved and happy.

The other team had a striker who is just tiny so when my biggest player knocked her over going for the ball the other side erupted in protest. The girl was fine but after talking to her coach on the sideline she erupted in loud fake cries. The coach of the opposing team ran out onto the field to verbally accost my offense and had two of my girls in tears.
us.

I will not tolerate a coach who is angling for special treatment because he is being challenged. I told my offense to stop crying and that coach is a dirtbag poor sport and he isn’t accustomed to losing.” (By this time we had scored 3 goals back to back to back.) I was right next to their parents and said “don’t let him upset you, you’re all playing fair and clean soccer. He just isn’t accustomed to losing, now go out there and kick his teams butt even harder!!” They did. We won 4-1 and my star forward had her first hat trick.

Every parent came up to me after the game and congratulated me on an excellent game and many commented on how much our girls have improved. That never happens.

Going into this season I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue coaching. It’s usually a thankless job with lots of hard work and little rewards.

Games like last week are why I am still coaching and so glad I volunteered. The team I was worried about winning a single game at the beginning of the season ended up winning its division!

Right after the double header I got to watch my son’s team in a double header put on a hell of a show. It was over 4 hours in the sun on the fields but I loved every minute of it!

I coached a Judo team for free out of a local YMCA. Kids were great, 90% of the parents sucked big time.

One example was we are in NJ. Big tournament every year was the AmCans in Ohio. While it is a great place to see how good you are, it is a far drive that includes staying at a hotel, food and gas expenses. At that particular time only 1 yellow belt 10 years old wanted to go. His parents insisted that I travel there on my dime to coach their son. No way was I going as their son hardly showed up for practice and was not a good player since he didn't practice at home.

If you were a member of the YMCA, class was free. At some point I realized that when things are free people don't value what they are getting as it doesn't cost them a lot of money.

We had very talented adults in this club, two Olympians and other high ranking adult players that were National champions. The sensei that promoted me to Nidan (2nd degree) was in the 1962 Olympics and the highest rank ever in the U.S.

Today I asked the principal of my high school to consider letting me have a Judo club next Fall. Only fee would be the gi and a small membership fee that is mainly for insurance costs $40. I maybe crazy for wanting to do this but I do like teaching the sport.

I remember a few of your previous posts on the subject and am glad you stuck with it. I love coaching youth sports and even though I hate a lot of the adults, I never let it get me down. The kids have always made it worth it, and sometimes you get one of those games that you’ll probably think about forever. My favorite game was one we lost almost ten years ago. I still think of it regularly.

I have nothing but respect for people who want to coach these days. When I did it it was completely different than it is today.

I have a buddy who coaches soccer and he has shared a few emails with me that just completely blow my mind.

In ten years you will really enjoy it when some young adult approaches you and says "hi coach!" as you are trying to figure out who they are! Or comes up and thanks you. I've had people come up to me twenty years after coaching them. They will relate something that happened back then and remember every detail. Thanks to all coaches, you do make a difference.

Jim

quote:

Originally posted by Pal:
In ten years you will really enjoy it when some young adult approaches you and says "hi coach!" as you are trying to figure out who they are! Or comes up and thanks you. I've had people come up to me twenty years after coaching them. They will relate something that happened back then and remember every detail. Thanks to all coaches, you do make a difference.

Jim

You’re absolutely right Jim! I’ve already had it happen. A girl from my first season coaching found me on the field a few weeks ago after practice. I instantly recognized her face but couldn’t remember her name. Thankfully my daughter remembered her name and bailed me out.

Her parents were one of the few who thanked me for coaching that difficult winless first year where our best result was a tie. It was awesome hearing how she misses our team and how much fun her fist season playing soccer was with our team. She aged up and sadly left us and left a gaping hole in our midfield. That girl learned soccer FAST and was a hell of a playmaker. Her parents were awesome too.



We had a make up game today and I am happy to say our team is playing beautiful soccer. I don’t like the hyper competitive coaches. My number one goal is to have fun and foster a love for the beautiful sport. Today I asked the girls if there was a position they haven’t played yet and wanted to try out. One of our quieter girls asked to try offense and I’ll be damned if she didn’t come VERY close to scoring. My girls are having a blast and riding high on a four game win streak!

By and large I’ve been impressed with the coaches and players we have faced. All but one have been good role models and practiced great sportsmanship. The one that didn’t well we stomped his ass. I made the parents laugh today in our post game huddle. One of the girls pointed out the dramatic/controversial/crybaby team was playing a game after ours concluded. I said yeah that’s the team that didn’t like losing. Wasn’t that fun beating them!? We all laughed pretty hard.

I am typically a very gracious coach when we win but if a coach makes my girls cry and goes on the field and yells at them I am gonna troll that coach and let my girls know when an adult is acting like a child. You don’t yell at girls and make them cry because you’re mad your team is losing. Winning against that loser was beautiful.

I coach kids Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It's difficult to get kids to understand the growing pains of BJJ because they're so focused on "winning" and don't realize that it can take quite a while to get proficient at it. Most of the parents are good but there is a little girl who comes to every single class. I think it's because her parents make her, it especially seems like her dad is trying to live through her. A few months ago, her dad was talking to one of the brown belts. If you know BJJ, you know a brown belt is someone very skilled because promotions are difficult to come by. The dad was saying how the brown belt was having a difficult time with one of the guys who was really big and strong. It was promotion time for the kids and the brown belt was head instructor of the kids program (he's since moved away) and said how proud he was of the kids and how they set an example that many adults could follow by training instead of standing on the sidelines.

I think it's the reason why so many adults quit within a few months. You are getting rolled left and right and sometimes by people smaller and physically weaker than you. If you don't check your ego at the door, it can kill your spirits.

But seeing the confidence and skill level in these kids grow is an amazing thing. I think they're taught that they don't have to be afraid of contact.

Well ladies and gents this season is done. I went from coaching a team that didn’t win a single game to a team that only lost 1 game all season in just 4 years.

I have truly enjoyed coaching the beautiful sport of soccer. I might even be so bold as to say I enjoy coaching more than I enjoyed playing this fine sport. Seeing my girls improve their game and manage to DESTROY an undefeated team so bad their coach had a melt down was AWESOME. It was also a great opportunity to teach my girls about having good sportsmanship and how do win with grace.

Next season basically my whole team won’t age up along with my daughter so I’ll be back to my 4 core players who have been with me the entire run. Here’s to building another powerhouse soccer team! I can’t wait for next season.

Follow up:

I’ve seen the other side (as a spectator yelling at his team for their formations) and I miss coaching.

A year off was a good idea. It made me realize how much I miss coaching!!