To me Memorial Day isn’t a day of celebration at all. It’s a day of remembering and honoring those who are no longer with us. Technically it’s supposed to be just for service members who gave all, but I tend to extend it to anyone who had a an impact on me as well and is no longer with me, regardless if they served or not.

Today I’ve seen or heard the statement “Happy Memorial Day”, and it makes me cringe. There is absolutely nothing to be happy about today, especially if the day has a special meaning for you. For me, I lost my Dad on Christmas Day of 2000 due to Agent Orange exposure in Vietnam. I always think about him, but on both Memorial Day and Christmas Day it hits home even more so. I was in the Navy and couldn’t make it back home before he had his funeral so I never got a chance to say goodbye to him, prior to his death or after. In more recent years I’ve lost two of my dogs on Memorial Day weekend, one year apart from each other (last year and the year before). So maybe that’s why it’s tough for me.

So am I being too anal about the meaning, or am I justified in being annoyed and sad for people who say, “Happy Memorial Day”?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Largefarva, May 26, 2020 02:32 PM

It's as annoying as they dolts who confuse today with Veteran's Day

quote:

Originally posted by tatortodd:
It's as annoying as they dolts who confuse today with Veteran's Day

Yep!

Mournful, proud, hurt, grateful yes. Happy, NO! I still miss him.

I also think it's wrong to say "Happy Memorial Day" but I don't let it get to me. In some cases it's just an automatic expression without any thought behind it (what else does one say?); in others it's a complete ignorance of what the day is for and commemorates. I would probably also be a little leery of "Have a nice Memorial Day", although not as much.

I am not, however, averse to families and friends having gatherings to share food, drink, and fun -- it is a "holiday" after all, and we don't have many of those here in the US. I do think that some observance of the meaning of the day is appropriate.

I am old enough to remember when this event was called "Decoration Day" and was always observed on 30 May, no matter what day of the week it was. It was renamed "Memorial Day" after WWII to include all dead warriors. The observance day was changed to the last Monday in May in 1971 (to create a 3-day weekend). I also remember the tradition of buying little paper poppies to wear on that day. I think the money went to support the various veterans' charities.

I always read this poem (and cry) on Memorial Day:

In Flanders Fields
John McCrae - 1872-1918

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

flashguy

It's a little odd to hear people treat it as just another holiday (beg pardon - "three day weekend") as though there were nothing distinctive about it at all.

Primary arms issued an apology today for saying happy Memorial Day.

I have a good friend who never knew her Dad. He survived WW2 but was called up for Korea and was killed early on.

Growing up, Memorial day was treated almost like a funeral at her house. Her Mom was sullen and sad.
THAT was how I Learned the difference.

I'm with the OP. I too correct people who do the "Happy Memorial Day" thing.

Intent is key. "Happy" may be incorrect, but why is the person trying to do? What do they mean to say? Are they attempting to be polite and respectful?

Intent.

It's a day of remembrance. Not a happy day. To start, the flag is at half mast to honor the fallen, then briskly raised to give the finger to those who need it.

quote:

Originally posted by airsoft guy:
Intent is key. "Happy" may be incorrect, but why is the person trying to do? What do they mean to say? Are they attempting to be polite and respectful?

Intent.

Agreed. Let's try to not be offended. Enough of that going around already.

I get that it is a day of remembrance. However, it is also our holiday to begin the summer season. I like to think that we can remember our dead and also be happy for all they gave us. What is the acceptable response? Have a mournful Memorial Day? Have a respectful day? Have a thoughtful day? I'm ok with having a happy Memorial Day, even as I remember those I've lost.

quote:

Originally posted by dave7378:

quote:

Originally posted by airsoft guy:
Intent is key. "Happy" may be incorrect, but why is the person trying to do? What do they mean to say? Are they attempting to be polite and respectful?

Intent.

Agreed. Let's try to not be offended. Enough of that going around already.

Yes. How would you greet someone? "Sad Memorial Day"? I don't think so. "Solemn Memorial Day"? Better, but not wonderful. "Respectful Memorial Day"? True, but doesn't really do it for me. "Humble Memorial Day"? Certaainly appropriate, but I doubt it would catch on.

flashguy

Until I opened this thread I have never heard anyone say Happy Memorial Day.

quote:

Originally posted by dave7378:

quote:

Originally posted by airsoft guy:
Intent is key. "Happy" may be incorrect, but why is the person trying to do? What do they mean to say? Are they attempting to be polite and respectful?

Intent.

Agreed. Let's try to not be offended. Enough of that going around already.

Yes, please.

Sticks and stones, folks, sticks and stones.

Put your big kid pants on and power through the horrors...

No, you’re not being too anal.

quote:

Originally posted by Largefarva:
So am I being too anal about the meaning, or am I justified in being annoyed and sad for people who say, “Happy Memorial Day”?

I don't know as I'd say you're being "anal," but I wouldn't allow it to annoy me or make me sad.

I have, on occasion, gently reminded people it's not a day of celebration, but only people I feel that, when so reminded, would be inclined to stop, think, and reply with something like "True. Good point." Most times I just let it slide off.

sigcrazy7 makes a valid point, as well. So what do you use for a salutation? I don't know. I tend to go with something like "Have a good..." or "I hope you enjoy your..." as being not so holiday-ish but still expressing good wishes toward them.

I guess I always thought that Memorial Day was a time to remember those that aren’t with us in a positive light. I guess it’s a pretty naive mindset now that I think about it, but I personally have never associated it with being a sad holiday if you will, I’ve always viewed it as taking a moment to remember the good times that you had with those that are no longer with us.

I don't know if I would correct a person on 'Happy Memorial Day' unless I actually gave a crap about that person. The one I cannot let go by me without correction is when someone is referred to as having won the CMH. Usually I'll say 'it is awarded, they didn't win a contest'.

Strange oxymoron.