I am very diligent to always say either in any given situation, and here in WNY it is not a lost thing to do. I hear it all the time, and hope it continues throughout my life. Being courteous costs us nothing, but means so much!!

What a crock of shit (imo).

Maybe this is how the rest of the world thinks, but not me.

Sorry, but it’s not my “duty” to give you a free cigarette or hold the door for you or anything else. When I do you a favor I am not “cooperating” with you. I’m initiating the favor, not you. And I don’t want to fucking collaborate with you.

The actual study paper: http://rsos.royalsocietypublis...g/content/5/5/180391

“We find that, in informal everyday interaction across the world, the general norm is to tacitly acknowledge another's cooperative behaviour without explicitly saying ‘thank you’, but by simply continuing with one's activities, relying on a shared understanding of the good, service or support received as part of a system of social rights and duties governing mutual assistance and collaboration.”

“One of the reasons for this is that, in everyday life, we are not just motivated to help or ‘do favours’ for others; we are also motivated to participate in shared activities that involve expected contributions, and to fulfil the commitments implied by our social roles; in other words, we are required to take and share in responsibility [35,36]. When someone's cooperation is expected as part of their contribution to the running of everyday affairs, it is not necessary to explicitly express gratitude on the spot. Gratitude for someone ‘doing their part’ will be experienced and sustained through someone else's reciprocal fulfilment of needs and responsibilities.”

I always do. I thank the custodian who comes in my office to take take the trash out. I thank the flight attendant as I’m de-planing. etc. It doesn’t cost me time or money to be nice to people.

I worked at a plant that employed about 250 before I retired.

I wasn't in production but often arrived during shift change. If some one held the door I always gave them a thanks.

But since most were usually in a hurry, and I was not, I often held the door if someone was approaching and let them go first. Most gave a "morning" or a "thanks". Most.

But one group... black folks... would almost always completely ignore me. And they would almost never hold the door when the situation was reversed.

It was very obvious, These were friends and co-workers that I saw, talked to or worked with almost daily. In almost every case we knew each other on a first name basis. I guess it is just a cultural thing?

quote:

Originally posted by cparktd:
I guess it is just a cultural thing?

Something I read either here or on one of the blogs I read had a story that went something like this - -
Someone had a door held open for them, and said "Thank you".
The person holding the door said, "You're an American aren't you?"
He said, "Yes, why do you ask?"
"Because nobody but an American would say "Thank you" for that.

Being polite is patriotic!

I learned a long time ago to always be polite to people. Both my Parents were quite insistent on it.

I had a heck of a time when I was in my mid 20's and first on the Cop job to be more "Business like" than polite. Meaning NOT saying Please and Thank You to perps all the time.

But I surely learned that treating most people I encountered with good manners and respect, seldom hurt me.

I am currently in Southern New Jersey taking care of my 91 yr old Mom ,as she broke her arm a few weeks back. The friendliness and politeness from the AVERAGE person here ALWAYS surprises me. Most children will hold the door for me at a store. Make eye contact with most people and they will say Hello, etc.

Montana is a friendly, "Like America used to be" place, but my visits here usually show the locals as being quite friendly and helpful.

So maybe there still is some hope?

I say please, thank you, yes ma’am and sir....it’s in my wiring. I tell the waitress thank you every time she fills my tea glass....
Why NOT be courteous? It takes little effort, and it may help smooth out someone’s not so great day.

H&K-Guy axiom #36: It costs you nothing to be polite.

H&K-Guy

quote:

Do you say, “Thank you,” for small favors?

I try too; I also try to say “Yes Sir or Ma’am” when it’s applicable.

My grandfather taught to to stand up when meeting/greeting someone. It’s such a simple thing; get up out of your chair and look someone in the eye when they enter the room. Not enough people do it anymore.

When I was District Ranger on the Bridger-Teton, I walked into my Recreation Staff’s office. He was meeting with a contractor who was sitting in a chair with his back to the door. When Rick (Rec Staff) introduced me, the guy glanced back over his shoulder and extended his hand back towards me. I didn’t even take his hand.