Because S&W J-frame revolvers have notoriously heavy DAO triggers pulls and take a decent amount of practice to shoot accurately beyond point-blank range, they are typically not a good choice for a ‘beginner’ gun.

Lots of good suggestions offered here.

A friend of mine who is an NRA firearms instructor (fwiw) would often recommend full size Bersa’s because they were easier for his female students to rack the slide (this was before the more recent E-Z model offerings and similar).

A full sized handgun with some weight to it to soak up recoil.
Get her shooting a small gun and it'll be too snappy and hurt her hands.
I always cringe at the fudd working a gun store who recommends these tiny c pistols to women. Or worse, a snub nosed revolver.

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:
A full sized handgun with some weight to it to soak up recoil.

Agree. I have a P232 and a P239. With the P232, it fits my hand well and I have perfect aim on the first shot. Then I start to anticipate the recoil. The 239 was easier to handle/more accurate for multiple shots in my experience.

I absolutely loved 22LR. Gave me confidence and every shot was where I expected it. Easy plinking. That’s where I’d start.

quote:

Originally posted by .38supersig:
Thinking the P238 would be a good choice.

We have one. My wife likes it. It fits her small hands.
Snappy? Sure. I prefer a full size, heavier gun which has less felt recoil, especially if shooting 100 rounds or more.
But for a small .380, the P238 is pretty nice.

Time for the dark humor: You're going to buy three for her, and have one stolen.

You buy for her because who wants one of the spouse's hand-me-downs?

You buy a 22 for initial firearm familiarization and for fun.

You buy a full-sized in defensive caliber for real training with a non-painful firearm.

You buy a compact in defensive caliber for daily carry.

Then she steals one of your firearms and carries it instead.

quote:

Originally posted by whanson_wi:
Time for the dark humor: You're going to buy three for her, and have one stolen.

You buy for her because who wants one of the spouse's hand-me-downs?

You buy a 22 for initial firearm familiarization and for fun.

You buy a full-sized in defensive caliber for real training with a non-painful firearm.

You buy a compact in defensive caliber for daily carry.

Then she steals one of your firearms and carries it instead.

True.

I bought a M&P 9 Shield EZ for the wife a couple years back and love the thing. It's SO easy to rack it's almost scary and it's a soft shooter too for a gun that size.

I'd recommend going and finding a rental range for her to try it.

Guns are like shoes, if they don't fit they are worthless. Hands are all different. Take her to a gun store(s) with a large selection, to narrow down choices. Then, if possible, a rental range to shoot the "possibles."

I would go with a .22lr ppks my wife and daughter love them. I made the mistake of thinking she would like a 43x then a 48 then .380. light gun= big bang and recoil.

I am on the forum as much as possible which is every day and more than once. I have come to respect the opinions and advice of so many of you here. I am starting out taking her to a range and teaching her how to shoot a 22lr and see how she likes it. She is a very smart, strong (physically and emotionally) woman but abhors violence. I will give that a go then take her shopping once she decides if it is right for her. Once this is done, I will follow up in this thread and let everyone know how this goes. Thanks everyone for all of your advice. Who knows, another gun for me will be in the works too.

quote:

Originally posted by gjgalligan:
I have found most older ladies tend to do better with small caliber revolvers.
Semiautomatics tend to cause difficulty with being able to operate slides.

This has been my experience as well.

Not to mention, unless she practices malfunction type drills, if she needs it and something goes wrong it turns into a club, a revolver you pull the trigger again if it doesn’t fire.

Speaking as a (former smaller, meaning thinner,woman, (ha). I would definitely let her try a few handguns out at a range with rentals. Let her see what fits her hands and how the trigger reach is. Once she finds a couple that she seems to like, let her rent them and see how the recoil affects her. Many years ago, I started out with a Walther PPKS, in 380, but soon discovered it was a blowback, and bit the web of my hand badly. I ended up loving combat commanders in 45 acp.
Just taught me not to just go by the small size, but to try them out to see how they actually felt. Hope she finds one she likes!

quote:

Originally posted by whanson_wi:
Time for the dark humor: You're going to buy three for her, and have one stolen.

You buy for her because who wants one of the spouse's hand-me-downs?

You buy a 22 for initial firearm familiarization and for fun.

You buy a full-sized in defensive caliber for real training with a non-painful firearm.

You buy a compact in defensive caliber for daily carry.

Then she steals one of your firearms and carries it instead.

Probably right, but you don’t buy the 22 for her. If you don’t have a 22 for introducing folks, you need one. You might as well get an S&W Model 17 or similar so you can introduce folks to revolvers as well. This is an excuse ^H^H^H^H^H^H I mean a reason to buy guns that isn’t just for you.

For the son it was a 22lr conversion kit for a P229R I had. The daughter didn’t like DA/SA, so she learned on an M&P22.

And it’s okay if she steals one of yours, that’s just an excuse to buy something else to replace it.

My wife took a shooting class with Bruce Gray--or at least the first day of it--shooting my P226 with the .22 slide conversion. Some years ago I got her an S&W model 520 (with the titanium cylinder) and had Randy Lee work his magic on the action. She was going to use that for the class but ended up preferring the .22 conversion 226.

I would love to get an EZ for her but they are not legal in CA without going around the Roster. I think, however, they can be rented at our LGS/range.

quote:

Not to mention, unless she practices malfunction type drills, if she needs it and something goes wrong it turns into a club, a revolver you pull the trigger again if it doesn’t fire.

before I knew that the mosquito was a piece of crap, I bought one. Now I use it for malfunction drills with my wife and daughters

If you're looking for a 9mm defensive, the Walther PDP-F is the cat's meow. Walther specifically designed that pistol for woman, hence the F moniker. The grip is small, small and small.

My 74 year old mother chose the Walther ccp single stack 9mm gas operated ie easy slide manipulation and an external safety

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
I bought a M&P 9 Shield EZ for the wife a couple years back and love the thing. It's SO easy to rack it's almost scary and it's a soft shooter too for a gun that size.

I'd recommend going and finding a rental range for her to try it.

I agree…my oldest daughter tried out several revolvers (my S&W model 19 and Ruger LCR) and my Glock 27 and Stoeger STR9C she had issues with the slide on the two 9MM…she didn’t like the revolvers but a member of my shooting range invited her to try out his wife’s S&W M&P Shield EZ and she fell in love with it and bought one…to be honest the more I shoot it the more I like it too…the slide is easy for her to rack and it’s comfortable to shoot…that might be worth a look.