SIGforum
Blonde Assisting a Trucker
April 15, 2018, 08:21 PM
JALLENBlonde Assisting a Trucker
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down...
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $200 for your trouble”.
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!
There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $200 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!"
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. "But we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown April 15, 2018, 08:47 PM
Warhorse
Good one!!
____________________________
NRA Life Member, Annual Member GOA, MGO Annual Member
April 15, 2018, 09:21 PM
sigmonkeyMy brother and I really liked the Porpoise act!
"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! April 15, 2018, 09:43 PM
amalsVery good, JALLEN.
April 15, 2018, 09:57 PM
Haveme1or2Lmbo !
April 15, 2018, 10:58 PM
Sig2340quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
My brother and I really liked the Porpoise act!
Gave you a true porpoise in life, eh?
Did it have you crying inconsolably about aromatic herbs? I heard its a whale of a good thyme.
Nice is overrated
"It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government."
Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018
April 16, 2018, 12:31 AM
Sailor1911quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
My brother and I really liked the Porpoise act!
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
“If in winning a race, you lose the respect of your fellow competitors, then you have won nothing” - Paul Elvstrom "The Great Dane" 1928 - 2016 April 16, 2018, 08:02 AM
V-TailIs this a true story?
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים April 16, 2018, 08:52 AM
JALLENquote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
Is this a true story?
Probably not. It’s a pretty good walk from the Zoo in Balboa Park downtown to Sea World out in Mission Bay. Most would drive.
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown April 16, 2018, 10:04 AM
V-Tailquote:
Originally posted by JALLEN:
quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
Is this a true story?
Probably not. It’s a pretty good walk from the Zoo in Balboa Park downtown to Sea World out in Mission Bay. Most would drive.
I had a friend (much like you, he was a lawyer) who, when you told a joke like the one that you posted, would inevitably ask, "Is that a true story?"
It kind of became his "signature."
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים April 16, 2018, 10:43 AM
nhtagmemberfunny...never heard that one before...
[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC
April 16, 2018, 11:47 AM
JALLENquote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
quote:
Originally posted by JALLEN:
quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
Is this a true story?
Probably not. It’s a pretty good walk from the Zoo in Balboa Park downtown to Sea World out in Mission Bay. Most would drive.
I had a friend (much like you, he was a lawyer) who, when you told a joke like the one that you posted, would inevitably ask, "Is that a true story?"
It kind of became his "signature."
If it was a true story, it would start off with “Now this is no shit...”
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown