I know a couple years back I posted how me and my wife were considering divorce. Well the recent events with my family and the move along with building discontent have sped up what was probably inevitable.

I’m living in the camper while I pay her 2k a month. That’s the military’s rules + child support for our 1 child together. And the bottom line is that’s a small price to pay.

Me and Jelly are happy as can be. Except the fact that campers are cold AF in the winter lol.

I’ve got all my things and we’ll likely just keep our own finances as we have done so for 7 years together. And best of all my retirement is safe.

I’m not upset or making this post to convey a need for any sympathy. Instead I’m happy to get on with my life, work towards retirement, and enjoy my hobbies/time in peace.

I’ll get me a good lawyer and work things out peacefully I hope. If not there isn’t a lot she can take. She came in with way more assets than me, and the land I’ve acquired since we married was gifted and protected by a detailed will preventing it leaving the family. In the end I just wish for it to be done so I can move on.

I’ve got two teenagers and one 4 year old that I love dearly. Dads never get the time they deserve but I do what I can and I’ve learned that’s all that matters in time.

Having a good attitude helps a lot. Things always do get better once you accept what has to happen and get it done. My life after divorce has been interesting for sure, and yours will be too.

Congrats, James. No sense in prolonging the inevitable.

Now I hope you get that assignment back in Korea, as that’s what I remember you saying you wanted.

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas, my friend.

Lord Bless you and your children.

It may end up being a good thing but it still sucks to go through it.
Glad to hear that your retirement is off the table, that’s Hugh.

Well Shit, Sorry to hear that you are getting divorced, but it sounds like you are in a good spot.

Having gone through a divorce in the Army, I can offer a ton of advice, but the best advice is to be careful who you take advice from.

I'd offer you my couch, but I'm at FT Drum and it's probably colder here then your Camper.

Sending good thoughts your way Otto. I went through a separation about 35 years ago (no kids). It was a very difficult period for me brooding over wasted time in a relationship. You are going to be able to put this in perspective over time. I promise. CD228 offered 100% correct guidance: "I can offer a ton of advice, but the best advice is to be careful who you take advice from".

Sorry you're going through this, but it is definitely much better on the other side.

Been there, done that. It sux balls. Just remember, this too will pass. May be the best thing that ever happened to you.

If you two were married at least 10 years while in the military, be very, very careful about your military retirement. You say it's safe...make sure that is clearly, unequivocally spelled out in your divorce decree. Don't ask me how I know.

Consider picking up this book.

Go hire that lawyer. Some of the things you say (about your pension, for example) may or not be as sure as you seem to think. Hire counsel with familiarity with military retirement benefits.

Good luck.

Congratulations!!!

https://www.bing.com/videos/ri...2A9F11CB27&FORM=VIRE

Sorry/glad to here this.

jhe is absolutely right, lawyer up just to be safe.

quote:

Originally posted by jhe888:
Go hire that lawyer. Some of the things you say (about your pension, for example) may or not be as sure as you seem to think. Hire counsel with familiarity with military retirement benefits.

Good luck.

Good point, I was wondering about community property of the land and other assets regardless of source, but IANAL.

James,

Prayers for you being able to successfully negotiate the pitfalls before you. That and future happiness.

Thinking about Jelly and you my friend during this holiday season. Merry Christmas to you. Stay Safe - and WARM. Mark

I did this two years ago, with teenage kids, and it was absolutely the right thing to do. I am so much happier. Like I didn't even realize I didn't know what happiness was, happy. In my situation, I do get all the time I want with my kids, so I'm lucky. I hope it works out as well for you.

I'm coming up on a year since my divorce finalized. Life is better.
My only advice is to use a mediator. Ours was also a lawyer but having it mediated instead of litgated made it less ugly and less costly. It helped that we went into the room looking to agree.

Luck.

Bruce

Glad to hear you’re happy!

I’m about 1.5 years from completion, it went rather well considering.

I gave her 5 years to think what was going to happen. I could see no change for the better, actually getting worse. I dropped papers, actual process took about 8 months.

Things may change for you once her attorney or friends get inside her head. It’s not always totally adversarial for everyone. If things are working for you while being nice, not a bad way to go.

I’m still somewhat friendly to the ex, but also totally done with those games. I never call or text her, while she has floated the idea of getting remarried. It seems fantasy & reality can be hard to differentiate for her.

Good luck, avoid any pitfalls.