I’ll start off by saying we are the mean parents. Our kids have no video games, no tablets, no phones, and no motorized toys (except the Ranger and a juiced up power wheel for the small ones but those are only for use at the in-laws acreage and not everyday play). We don’t let the kids just lounge and watch TV unless it is really bad weather or Friday movie night. If it is nice they are outside and have tons of great stuff to play with so our house is the fun place to be and all the neighborhood kids tend to hang at our place.
We have the deep freeze stocked with those cheap push up popsicles and I buy cases of those hug drinks nearly by the pallet and anyone is welcome to as many as they want as long as they finish what they take and throw away the trash.
Any kid is welcome here as long as they play nice, follow the rules, don’t break our stuff, climb our fences, and you certainly don’t sass me or my wife.
Well we have this one little fella that is probably 6 or 7 and he absolutely does every one of those things. He is nasty to the other kids, picks on them, ninja kicks, ninja chops people, tears everything up, is constantly climbing the fences. Politely remind him of the rules and he yells your not the boss of me.
His sister is probably 10 and she is the sweetest thing you’ll ever come across. She tries her best to keep him in line but it does not work.
Towards the end of last summer I’d had enough and was much more firm. He has this little yap dog and he brought it up and was shaking it getting it all riled up and then trying to get it to chase and bite the other kids.
It took every ounce of restraint I had not to snatch that little kid up and drag him down the street to his house. I chased him off, his sister was apologizing. I politely said he was welcome to play if he just behaved and listened.
A few days later he and Mom (rarely see her or Dad) and he had a little note written by Mom but signed by him. Saying he was sorry and just wanted to play. I explained to Mom we would love for him to play but his behavior is beyond problematic. She apologized and tried to take him home for the night and he had quite the fit.
Did not really see him out much after that and if he was he kept to his house.
Well the weather has broken and we’re out all the time he has slowly been creeping up. I was out back and hear this clanking on my gate and here he his smashing into my gate with his hover board and smacking the gate with a stick. I tell him if he want to play he knows the rules but it will be a little while since I am about to mow and the kiddos are working on their school work for tomorrow.
Go back into the shop and put my ear protection on turn on the tunes to mow so don’t hear much. Come around the side of the house and the damn kid is poking my dog in the face with a stick through the gate.
Need to have a talk with the parents I am just generally to fired up. Need to go down there when the kid has not been around to fire me up.
Anyone else have this continuing saga?

We have our own neighborhood little shit. Nobody’s actually ever seen his parents leave the house, but I suspect at some point, I’ll be knocking on their door. About a month ago, he soccer tackled my boy, while they were on bicycles and then argued with me when I told him to give my boy some space. I nearly came unstrapped. The little shit is nine and my son is seven, and he only recently got the “riding the bike” thing mostly sorted out, so rough housing with an older kid doesn’t need to be on the menu yet. He’s been knocking on the door every day the past several days wanting to know if my son can play. The parents up the street have already had enough of this kid, I think. If he was pulling the crap you posted about, I’m sure I would have already told him he’s not welcome at my house anymore.

Guess I'd be a bad parent and punish the neighborhood kids to turn them against him until they kicked the shit out of that little asshole. Group punishment and peer pressure can be very powerful tools to the uninitiated...

“Politely remind him of the rules and he yells your not the boss of me.”

That’s where you’re mistaken, bucko. At this house, I am the boss of you



“Come around the side of the house and the damn kid is poking my dog in the face with a stick through the gate.”

And if your dog responded by biting the little jackass, there would be hell to pay. I’d tell that kid’s mom he’s no longer welcome on my property. You’ve been more than patient.

Edited to add:

Grownups in this kids life aren’t doing him any favors by failing to establish boundaries for his behavior. If his mommy and sperm donor won’t do it, it would be beneficial to him if you did.

It’s a tough position to be in because it seems like the kid is missing a male role model in his life. On the one hand, it’s a great opportunity to steer him in a more positive direction but, on the other, it’s not your job, especially if doing so comes at the cost of your peace and property. Seems like the best approach is to keep doing what you’re doing - encourage good behavior and don’t reward bad behavior with attention (positive or negative). He might learn to moderate his behavior but by his age that ship has largely sailed.

Thankfully, the knuckleheads on my street have grown up and moved on. I suspect they're still knuckleheads, though.

On the other hand is the kid across the street, "MP": good kid. Several summers ago he and his friends were riding their bikes up my driveway and down the hill into the next-door yard. I stopped and chatted with them for a bit, telling them I really didn't mind but that I wanted them to be extra careful and not get hurt bouncing down the hill. All of MP's friends took off as if they'd been fussed at (I truly wasn't fussing). MP stuck around for a moment, looked me in the eye and said simply, "thank you."

I saw MP's dad a few days later and asked if he had a moment to talk. His basic reaction was, "oh, gosh, what's he done?" I had to quickly tell MP's dad "no, no, it's not like that! I wanted to tell you how polite he was when we talked the other day."

Neighborhood bonus: the kid in the house behind mine is a good student, on the lacrosse team, and well on his way to earning his Eagle Scout badge.

I also failed to mention that there is a very good likelihood myself or another neighbor is going to end up shooting their other dog, not the little yap thing.
The kid leaves their gate open and they just let the dog out the back door and he goes on his merry way and is very aggressive.
Was down the street across from the kids house and another dad and I were chatting in the drive way and the dog charges us and stops in the middle of the road just barking and inching forward.
I see the neighbor is already going for his gun so I grabbed the two little ones that were with us and lock them in the backyard with the other kids so no one runs out.
Dog then sees the neighbor mowing up the street and charges him. That neighbor sees the dog barking and charging so he raises the front of the mower up blades still spinning and he starts going at he dog with the mower ready to chop up the dog as it’s not his first rodeo with the dog either.
Dog wised up and high tailed it back into the back yard.
Mom heard the commotion and sheepishly went and closed the gate and went back in.
Dog gets out quite a bit. Our kids know not to be on that side of the street down there.

You’ve been way too patient. Quick and easy conversation - kid is not allowed on property again.

ETA: I actually had that exact conversation with a little snot nosed brat one time: You’re not the boss of me. Oh, yes I am - when you are here at my house I am the boss and I make the rules.

So these people have an asshole kid and an asshole dog.....I think we know where the problem lies here. As stated, its time to tell both parents to keep junior off your property and let them know you have no intention of being bitten by their dog either.

I would've just got the garden hose out and soaked him, and let his parents come to me.

We got one of those here too....I’ve always got a bad vibe off him...for no reason but it came to fruition one day during the snow in February....but before that I had my eye on him...he was at the park with my kid and another and he was bossing them around-they are all the same age but Trace is a year behind in school.

So during the snow, Tomminator and his friend “Sam” was over and they went to play in the snow, they come back as Trace has thrown a snowball in the Tomminator’s eye....I figured, hey it’s the risk you take playing snowball fight games...a week later I’m at the mailbox and I hear Trace asking Tomminator “how’s your eye...hahahahah” and it was the tone and inflection that set me off, I knew he had been intentional about hitting him in the face I told Tomminator he was to have nothing else to do with this kid.(Trace is and avid base baller and pitches- he knew where he was throwing.)

I spoke to Sam, and he told me that he used to be friends with Trace but once he told Sam that he (Sam) was just his “side friend”...Sam figured it out pretty quick and ditched Trace.

At a neighborhood gathering, I spoke to some of the other parents about Trace...they all seem to have some kinda weird feeling about him. ....I told them he was a bad kid and to keep their eyes on him around their kids. Many ignored me -but I’m 25 years older and worked as a cop and I’m pretty good at judging character.

I also pulled Trace aside at the same gathering and told him not to come to my house or play with Tomminator....ever. And that I knew he was a bad kid and enjoyed hitting or hurting people- kid had a total flat affect(like when I dealt with seriously damaged grownups as a cop), some of the other parents were vocal bout me and my directly challenging him, but several have seen the light since then due to this kids behavior....

My recommendation is to cut the kid off. Plain and simple. Tell him he is not welcome if he can’t follow YOUR rules at YOUR house. And then give him the boot when he fails to comply.

I had four kids running loose when I bought this house in 1988. I sent certified letters to the parents that their kid was not to come onto my property.

Only one parent responded and their kids never returned. The others only escalated their vandalism resulting in over $17k damage to my yard when they poisoned the plants and the water garden killing $300 worth of fish.

Next they broke into one vehicle and put something in the oil which ruined the engine. Later they broke into another vehicle and put something in the oil which lowered the compression.

Some time later I caught two of them breaking into cars at night but the police did nothing.

They later found my property in Loudoun County and started vandalism things there. I had barbed wire coiled over the gate and they got cut up one night. A neighbor heard them hollering and went to investigate. When a Deputy Sheriff went to get a statement from him, he told a different story.

You have a Stillwell...

Turn the hose on the little fucker if he comes on your property.
Kids are like farts. I can tolerate mine and think they're kinda funny. Everyone else's are disgusting and I want nothing to do with them.

I'm curious as to how much "persuasion" an adult can use on a grade school-age kid who's not his own. I'm sure most of us grew up in a time and place where we didn't have to wonder if an adult's word really mattered or if our parents had each other's backs when disciplining unruly kids. But these days, who the hell knows?

We have one like that - he's now about 20 years old and still living at home - an only child who'll curse at his mom (in younger days) and who's mother will always back the kid.

As you read, note we are on a cul-de-sac with 15 houses.

For example, neighbor moves in about 10 - 11 years ago, sets out one of those garden gnomes (of larger size) with a chipped hand. Gnome disappears and *magically* appears on said kid's yard a week later. Neighbor asks kid's mom about it and explains the gnome is in the wrong yard. Mom asks kid who explains how he "found" is on the sidewalk. Mom backs the kid's story because her loving son gave it to her as a gift and would never lie. Mom moves said gnome into her backyard.

Next instance; about a year ago, as wife and I are leaving ad at the street's stop sign, kid in his car races around us by passing on the right and blows the stop sign while blaring his horn the whole way. Father is a short way behind (I stopped and was trying to figure out "WTF" and "was that who I thought it was?") and comes up to us apologizing for kid's behavior.

Wrong words to say were, "thank you however, he's over 18 and owes me the apology, not you."

Response, "well you're not hurt and he didn't hit your car so my apology will have to do."

Lately I've been noticing, whenever mom and dad leave, kid's girl friend shows up 10 minutes later and they ain't hanging out in the front like they used to do when she showed up while kid's parents were there. Only a matter of time now for nature to take its course.

We had a kid and parents like that when I was pretty young. Due to a builder screwup, we had to share a driveway, sort of like a giant Y between our houses. My dad came home one day and Curtis was chipping golf balls toward our house. My dad stopped to ask him to change directions. An hour later my dad went out to the driveway and there was a hole in his windshield and a golf ball on the passenger seat, golf ball had Curtis's dad's monogram on it. My dad marched over there, rang the doorbell. Curtis's mom insisted he couldn't have done it. Guess how well Curtis turned out. I love checking up on his on FB when my folks visit.

Call Child Protective Services (CPS) on the parents and say that abuse is suspected. That’ll make the parents day.

You’ve been impressively patient. It sounds like that situation isn’t going to change. Call me cold hearted but after failing with the multiple opportunities that you’ve given him for follow your house rules I’d ban him.

Sounds like a parenting issue, not your responsibility but you could pay the price for not banning him. It will probably get worse as he gets older.

Tough spot but I wouldn’t think twice about yielding the ban hammer.

quote:

Originally posted by 2BobTanner:
Call Child Protective Services (CPS) on the parents and say that abuse is suspected. That’ll make the parents day.

Anonymous calls can do that.

Honestly though, I'd tell the kid he's no longer welcomed and tell both parents. If the kid continues as described, get very stern with him but, do not allow it to flow over to his sister.

Eventually the kid MAY learn (doubtful though). Also consider, the kid may start bullying your kid(s).

On a side note; here's story for you:

https://www.sandiegouniontribu...apr05-htmlstory.html

I worked with Bob Reed and know the extent of the feud. First, the kid in question would skid his bicycle across Bob's lawn - right after Bob laid new sod. Even with pics, the parents denied it was their kid when the kid claimed it wasn't him.

The kid was also know to change his car's oil (when he got older and was "given" the car for graduating high school) - on Bob's lawn and without a catch pan.

Bob was a retired Cdr in the Navy and both home have the same floor plan. When Bob began shooting, the theory by the sheriff and those of who knew Bob was, Bob was trying to flush the kid out of the home and once he flushed the kid/family from the garage and into the living room - with a big window - the kid hid behind his pregnant wife. (They divorced once the full story of the kid came out.)

It was sad all the way around. The pastor of my church was also the sheriff's chaplain and was there to counsel the deputies who shot Bob.