Not every day, mind you… but some days are GREAT illustrations.

I should be ridiculously embarrassed to tell this story, particularly to a such wide audience, but… I lived through it and didn’t incur major damage, it illustrates my occasional shortsightedness, and it might serve someone as a reminder of what NOT to do. And now, some 24 hours later, it’s pretty funny. If anyone filmed this event, they’re probably mixing it with the Benny Hill music by now.

I’ve got an old Deere riding mower. Its original engine grenaded itself a few years ago. The original Kawasaki engine wasn’t offered any more, so I got the closest-match Briggs. And that sorry thing — though it’s stronger than the original Kaw — has leaked since day one. For years, I’ve parked it over an aluminum baking pan to catch the runoff. I don’t change the oil; I just replace what leaks out. Every time I start the mower, I get a cloud of smoke as soon as the muffler gets warm, thanks to an oil leak at the valve cover. The hood hinge broke years ago, and then the hood broke, so “Old John” cruises my yard hoodless and smoking. My neighbors probably shake their heads in disgust. It runs and it cuts, and I can’t cough up the dollars to replace it right now, so… there it is.

Last week I finally picked up a new valve cover gasket and the associated sealant. Last night was the night to do the job. So having backed the mower into the garage last week, I lifted the front of it using a floor jack, put a couple of plastic ramps under the front wheels (one facing forward, one turned to my right, so I had room to work), moved the jack, and set to work. Removed the valve cover, scraped and cleaned the residue off it, cleaned the remainder with some acetone, and thought I was off to a good start.

Then I took the scraper to the engine side, working to get the original sealant residue off. Scraped, scrubbed, scraped some more. And then I had a Moment of Brilliance! "Get the little propane torch out, and burn that mess off! That’ll do the job!”

Well… it did the job. No more sealant goop on the engine. So I reached for a rag to clean off the ashy remainder. And then I saw smoke coming from beneath the engine. I asked myself, “Self… what’s going on here?” And then I thought, “Oooohhh. The oily, dusty, gunk underneath has gotten hot. You didn’t really think that through, vthoky!”

So in just a moment, the smoke stopped. "Cool!"
And then the flames revealed themselves. “Oh, crap!!”

I grabbed a screwdriver and started knocking little flaming gobs of goo off the engine, stomping them out as they hit the floor. After that exciting moment I thought, “Whew! Crisis averted.”

And then the smoke started again. I was certain the smoke detectors would go nuts. So I turned on the 18” fan sitting in the floor behind the mower, blowing the smoke out the garage door.

And then the flames revealed themselves again. “Come on, vthoky, you know better!!” was followed by, “Man, I really don’t want to set off a fire extinguisher in this garage! So I shut off the fan, knelt in front of the mower, and did my best Big Bad Wolf impression… huffing and puffing, and blowing that small fire out. Again. “Geeze, man, are you really this stupid? You’ve introduced fire to an area that’s fed by a tube full of gasoline!”

Now by this time you’re asking, “good grief, vthoky, why not just shove the mower out the garage door?”
Remember that screwed-up arrangement with the ramps? Yeah. That, and the fact that I had backed my truck up too close to the door to get the mower out in a hurry.

Once I verified the oily, dirty gob of goo on the engine wasn’t going to flare up again, got my heart rate back down, and made a nice cold Corona disappear, I took a moment for the after-action review.

1. I’m no pro.
2. I should be smarter than this.
3. I introduced fire to an area fed by a tank full of gasoline.
4. I should be smarter than this.
5. I averted a smoke alarm trigger.
6. I didn’t smoke up the house.
7. I put out a small fire. Twice.
8. I didn’t burn the mower down, nor the house.
9. I should be smarter than this.
10. Once again, He has kept me safe from my own impatience, overconfidence, and shortsightedness.



Nobody can say I’m too stubborn to admit my mistakes!

- - - - -

ETA: I mowed tonight, and brought Old John back into the garage, taping a paper towel to the floor underneath it. Here we are, four hours later, and the paper towel shows no sign of oil leakage.


————
[Edited to correct poor spelling.]

I've been proof for years that god looks out for sailors and drunks.(but I repeat myself)

Yeah, that sounded like a panic situation for me. I'm glad it all worked out.

I just might have a Deere that looks just like that. Set mine on fire vacuuming a much to deep pile of leaves. Friction heat and dry leaves isnt a great combo. Sure will make you move faster than you like tho

I, too, have done similar things for which I've been grateful for divine intervention in the end result, so I'm laughing with you.

Thankfully, it was good at the end of the day.

quote:

Originally posted by SpinZone:
I've been proof for years that god looks out for sailors and drunks.(but I repeat myself)

Glad all worked V. You mechanic like I do.

Haha! I just now noticed the quote in SpinZone's signature line: "We truly live in a wondrous age of stupid."

It fits, I believe.

I liked that because I could see myself doing something similar! Glad the leak's stopped so now you can return the wife's cookie pan.

Referring to 2, 4, and 9 above, I think I'll keep that pan in the shop and buy us a new cookie pan.

- - - - -

Now that I think about it, I guess I'm going to have to start actually changing Old John's oil occasionally!

11. You should be smarter than that.

For sure!

Shit, a small fire in the garage? That’s normal redneck Saturday!”

TWO small fires in the garage, mister!

OK, so who was holding your beer when you did this.....

I was sharpening mower blades with a grinder inside my garage. I had protective eyewear, and gloves on. I've sharpened lots of blades, no problem. I forgot this day I was wearing a fleece pullover shirt. It didn't even occur to me that fleece was flammable. I always have a fire extinguisher in the garage.

quote:

Originally posted by HRK:
OK, so who was holding your beer when you did this.....

There may or may not have been a beer on the workbench beside me when I started the job....

There definitely were two empty bottles when I finished the job!

I just had 2 of my neighbor’s trees come into my yard taking out part of my new vinyl fence. Using my lopers I took off all the smaller upper branches and then used my chain saw to dice up the bigger trunks, 14-16 inches at the property line. Everything to the curb and the city hauled it all away.

A lot of work but no issues, same numbers of limbs when I finished as when I started, no extra gashes or slices.

Today, I used my small shears to cut some double slded tape down to size and when I was done there was some sticky residue on the shears. No problem. I have some alcohol impregnated patches perfect for just this type of issue. Wiping the patches up and down the blades and taking the residue right off until…..

Now I'm sitting here drinking rum with bandages on not one but two fingers that I sliced open on the shears.

The lesson here is that it isn’t the projects you think will get you, its the projects that "I've got this" that will get you.

Oh yea; 12. I should be smarter than that.

quote:

Originally posted by SpinZone:
two fingers that I sliced open on the shears.

Yow! One of my production crew did that very same thing recently. No bueno!

We should be smarter than this....