My grandfather who passed away a few weeks ago was buried in the Massachusetts National Cemetery at Otis Air Force base. Obviously since it's a national cemetery they supply the flat headstone. While we were there the cemetery director mentioned that once my grandmother passes, they destroy the original headstone and replace it with a new one with both names, rather than adding a new name to the original stone.

My question is, since they are going to destroy the original stone, does the VA allow families to keep the original, if requested as a sort of keepsake? Or is that forbidden? I've checked the VA/Cemetery administration's website but haven't been able to find anything.

I would suggest speaking directly with the cemetery administration. Realize since it is a national cemetery that it is entrenched in government and procedure. I hope you can get it, but would not be surprises if you can't.

It literally took an act of Congress to get a small memorial plaque when a tree was planted in Fort Scott.

I was told recently that if my Mom passes first they would put her name on the headstone, When My Dad passes they would turn the stone around and put his name on the other side.

I know the government is involved but I can't see why they wouldn't etch the first name with space for the second name afterward.

This will help:

https://www.cem.va.gov/hmm/

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:
I know the government is involved but I can't see why they wouldn't etch the first name with space for the second name afterward.

Not sure, considering they give you the option to put an inscription on the original headstone. But when it is replaced when the spouse passes the spouse's name/date of birth/death go in the place of the inscription. Not sure why they don't just leave off the inscription in the first place.

quote:

Originally posted by ryan81986:

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:
I know the government is involved but I can't see why they wouldn't etch the first name with space for the second name afterward.

Not sure, considering they give you the option to put an inscription on the original headstone. But when it is replaced when the spouse passes the spouse's name/date of birth/death go in the place of the inscription. Not sure why they don't just leave off the inscription in the first place.

Don't hold me to it but recall a video where they produce the headstones then ship them out. My guess is the cost of removal, round trip shipping and carving costs more then just making a new one.

quote:

Originally posted by Icabod:

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:
I know the government is involved but I can't see why they wouldn't etch the first name with space for the second name afterward.

Don't hold me to it but recall a video where they produce the headstones then ship them out. My guess is the cost of removal, round trip shipping and carving costs more then just making a new one.

That makes sense assuming the stones are shipped out from a federal contractor which is likely. Non-military would have the stone sent to gravestone marker shop that is physically close to the cemetery.

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:
That makes sense assuming the stones are shipped out from a federal contractor which is likely.

As I recall, all veterans headstones are made at a quarry in Vermont and then shipped out. Apparently the stone from there has some certain qualities that are desirable. I don't remember who they were, but there was a documentary on it some years ago.

Makes sense if that's the case. I would have assumed that each cemetery would have someone on hand to do the engraving, and then just get shipments of the pre-cut stones.