Just looking to get the ball rolling.

Scenario: I have an older mentally disabled brother who still lives with our parents. My parents are in there 80's, my brother is in his mid-50's, and my brother has lived with them for almost his entire life. They live in Virginia, I live in Pennsylvania.

My mother was recently diagnosed with cancer, and we will know the extent and treatment options around Tuesday of this week. My father has had heart issues and surgical procedures recently. We wish for my brother to stay with my parents as long as they are physically capable, and that is when I step in. We don't want to put him in an assisted living facility, as we don't think he would adapt well to it. We would like him to have some type of independence, in that he lives on his own, with daily monitoring for medications and general well being. I am considering leaving my current employment, and getting a caregiver status to have direct interaction with my brother as much as possible.

My parents have stated they do not wish for my wife and I to take him in, and since he is in the later stages of a progressive mental disease, I will not argue with them. But I would like to spend as much time as needed, as well as live my own life. So keeping two houses, one in VA and one in PA, could be a possibility, and I would be able to travel to both as needed. This can and probably will change over time.

Health insurance and finances should not be a problem. He was diagnosed with his disability as a dependent, and will carry my father's insurance the rest of his life. He will also receive survivor benefits from my father, as well as disability and social security. A trust fund has been set up for him, and I will be the legal executor of his finances and health needs.

Any advice, "must do now" type issues, or anything I need to know. I do have contact info for the director of social services in his county of residence, and will make some phone calls tomorrow to see what resources he could qualify for his/our situation.

Thanks,
Smith

What is the diagnosis? Hard to respond without knowing that.

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
What is the diagnosis? Hard to respond without knowing that.

He is mentally ill, and will need daily monitoring from me, or provided by Social Services. Mainly making sure his general welfare is being met, taking his meds, eating healthy, etc...

He hasn't had a job in a long time, due to anxiety around people he doesn't know very well. But he has mentioned an interest in getting some type of part time employment. He would need transportation for that.

Seems to me that there should almost certainly be a live-in caregiver occupation paid for by room and board. and perhaps a small salary perhaps even contributed to by social services. I suspect this would be far easier on your brother, not to mention the tax payers, than placing him with a care facility. Obviously it would help if bro wasn't abusive or otherwise difficult to deal with.

Depends on the state. Wisconsin had excellent group homes for patients with schizophrenia. Houseparents were there 24/7 and there were frequent visits with the social worker. If there were behavioral issues a clinical psychologist would consult. Transportation would be provided to medical appointments, the barber and the like. The local mental health center handled the meds.

Most states do not have the quality of programs found in Wisconsin. The group homes were located in residential neighborhoods and lots of work was done beforehand to insure acceptance.

His social security disability check covered housing and meals. Certain things were extra.

The first issue for both your parents and brother; do you have wills, healthcare POA, living will, etc. set up?
If not, a trip to an attorney that does that type of law is a high priority.

Wills, healthcare POA, living will, etc... are already taken care of.

Ideally I would like to see my brother on his own, in his own house. It might even work for my retirement plans that I have a "home base", somewhere he could live, and I would have the ability to check in on him as needed, and even stay for longer durations. Maybe my wife and I keep our house in PA (she has family here), and my brother has a house in VA with daily monitoring from social services. I could come and go as needed, and have the option to stay as long as my brother wants or needs. And bring him up to PA as well.

That seems what I think will work best for not only my family, but my wife's as well, without moving him into our own home. Given my parents are still alive, I've mentioned downsizing their house, and looking at a single floor home for easier access for aging parents. My mom is really struggling going up and down steps. But they are obviously going through difficult times, so that is not an immediate concern. Just down the road, and I'm 8hrs away.