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A Grateful American |
as the reality of the truth that you can tune piano in a Pinto, but you can't tuna fish in a Speedwagon. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| It's not easy being me |
So, since I was runnin' blind, I couldn't decide whether it was better to roll with the changes,...or it was time for me to fly... _______________________________________ Flammable, Inflammable, or Nonflammable....... Hell, either it Flams or it doesn't!! (George Carlin) | |||
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Member |
I then realized that diahrea was genetic. I runs in my jeans and that was why grandpa always smelled like the ouuthouse. Knowing this I started looking for the Thai lady...I just knew she must have an answer. ****************************************************W5SCM "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution" - Abraham Lincoln "I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go" - Abraham Lincoln | |||
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| Green grass and high tides  |
Then the damn clutch went out. But as luck would have there was a suburban left running with the drivers door open and full tank of gas. And I was done with the hooker so the arrow was pointing up all the sudden. "Practice like you want to play in the game" | |||
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Shorted to Atmosphere |
Obnoxious mariachi music was blaring from the system as I slammed the door, dropped it into gear and mashed the accelerator. | |||
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goodheart |
Except it wasn’t the system, it was an actual mariachi band in the back of the frickin’ Suburban. And I was headed right for the Border Patrol inspection station. _________________________ “ What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.”— Lord Melbourne | |||
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| Master of one hand pistol shooting  |
The Mariachi band was playing a song with lyrics I had never heard. "Miralax. In Meheeco you no need Miralax. SIGnature NRA Benefactor CMP Pistol Distinguished | |||
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| If you see me running try to keep up  |
Just as I grabbed a pistol to shoot the Mariachi band I woke up out of that crazy dream. Too much Taco Bell too late at night. It was now 7 a.m. and I was late for The People’s Court and Judge Wapner was not going to be happy. This would be the third case of mine this year he was hearing. | |||
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SIG's 'n Surefires |
At least he would be hearing. This head congestion on top of the tinnitus was...murder. "Common sense is wisdom with its sleeves rolled up." -Kyle Farnsworth "Freedom of Speech does not guarantee freedom from consequences." -Mike Rowe "Democracies aren't overthrown, they're given away." -George Lucas | |||
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Member |
Turns out the ringing in my ear was the horn from the car behind me. I was concentrating something else. It wasn't a dream and now I had four dead Mariachi musicians in the back of a suburban no where to dispose of the bodies. _____________________________________________ I may be a bad person, but at least I use my turn signal. | |||
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Nullus Anxietas |
The ringing reminded me of my old school days and my favorite teacher. "Is she out of prison, yet?" I wondered, as I shook another coffin nail out and fished for my Zippo. "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher | |||
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| Cruising the Highway to Hell  |
All of a sudden, Kegger showed up to help with the bodies. “Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.” ― Ronald Reagan Retired old fart | |||
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| Let's be careful out there |
and three blacked out Suburbans appeared out of the gloom, hideaway red and blues flashing. A tiny woman in a tyvex suit, with a star-shaped scar on her head seemed to be in charge. | |||
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| My other Sig is a Steyr.  |
"I am lookink vor Moose and Skwedl!" Natasha exclaimed. We tried to keep the police busy by getting the Porter and Jick memo out there as much as we could, but didn't think it would lead to our pilot overdosing before takeoff. Lucky us, Rocky was the copilot. Bullwinkle was hiding under the tarp. Boris realized this after we were in the air. | |||
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Member |
You've not lived till you have had to take a shit at 9000ft with only you flying and a moose and a squirrel as cargo. That taco bell was not a good idea before flying out of Sedona. Regards, P. | |||
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Knowing is Half the Battle |
Then out of nowhere I hit a deer with the Suburban and the airbags deployed, leaving me stranded with the dead band and circled by three murdered out Suburbans. "What am I going to tell State Farm, twice in one year? And I'm still waiting on that headliner from October." | |||
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Member |
Turns out it was a reindeer and I had to put the plane down in a stew field. | |||
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| H.O.F.I.S |
Momma told me not to come. "I'm sorry, did I break your concentration"? | |||
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| Shorted to Atmosphere |
Thinking of Momma, she sure did bake the tastiest gay cake. | |||
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| Member |
But that's when it hit me. V-tail. Wishfull Thinker. There's something... They shared the same Birthday! That can only mean... | |||
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SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Sig Forum member story for the end of 2018. It was a hot and muggy night...
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