Something like a little bird was late flying south for the winter. Soon he started to ice up. In a little more time the ice was too much and he fell to the ground, right in a barn yard.

Nearly frozen to death he just laid there. But soon a big old cow came up and shit all over him. He thought that was the worst. But in a few minutes he was melted and warmed up. A little later he felt so good he started to sing.

Then a passing hawk heard him, swooped down and ate him.

From there we learned everyone who shits on you isn't your enemy. And if you're warm and happy, shut up.

So there was more to it, but I can't remember. Just a little help here guys.

When you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut.

The version I’m familiar with involved a cat that heard the bird.

The lessons:
Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of the shit is your friend.
When you’re in the shit, keep your mouth shut.

The way I heard it, the bird was carrying a coconut, I think...

quote:

Originally posted by sigfreund:
The version I’m familiar with involved a cat that heard the bird.

The lessons:
Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of the shit is your friend.
When you’re in the shit, keep your mouth shut.

This ^^^
"When you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut."

If your happy and you know it clap your hands.

No, wait. That's not it...

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
If your happy and you know it clap your hands.

No, wait. That's not it...

Crap on, crap off.

The way I remember it:


A bird was flying south for the winter. Cold and hungry, and with his wings were nearly frozen stiff with icicles, he fell to the ground. Frozen and unable to move, the bird thought to himself, “I am dead for sure.”

However, a cow came by, sniffed around and unloaded a big, stinky pile of cowshit on top of the bird. The bird was drowning in cowshit and thought to himself, “I am dead. Now for sure I am dead.”

Although the cowshit stank, it was warm and helped thaw the bird, bringing much needed warmth. The bird struggled a bit and managed to poke out his beak to breathe. It ate some seeds from the cowshit, regaining its strength and thought to himself, “Yes, yes, I am alive! I’ll be okay!”

The bird was so happy, it began to sing. A cat in the barn heard the singing and came over to investigate. The cat discovered the bird within the cowshit, dug the bird out, and ate him!

Moral of the story:

1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of deep shit is your friend.

3. If you are covered in shit, but warm and happy, shut the fuck up.

Is it one from James Thurber?

quote:

Originally posted by rusbro:
The way I heard it, the bird was carrying a coconut, I think...

It was a Swallow, but I'm not sure if it was an African Swallow, or a European one.

^^^^^^^. Just for that, you owe the forum a shrubbery. Get us a shrubbery.

A man was walking through a Chinese market when he spotted a very colorful bird.
The man asked the Chinese owner what kind of a bird it was. He was told it was a Foo bird. The man was fascinated with the bird and bought it. As he prepared to leave, the Chinese man told him that the birds poop had an unusual quality to it, and if he ever got any of it on him, to never wash off.
All was well for several months until while cleaning the birds cage, the bird crapped on the man. He washed off the poop and immediately died.
The moral of the story:
"If the Foo shits, wear it".

Once upon a time in Iraq a car full of bad
guys ran from a little bird. The little bird
gave chase and deposited eggs full of whoop
ass on the car. Don't be bad guys in a car
running from little birds.

The end