http://www.chicagotribune.com/...20170703-column.html

Dear Abby has a change of heart about gun advice

by Heidi Stevens Contact Reporter

After gun safety advocates flooded her mailbox and social media pages, Dear Abby tweaked some lousy parenting advice she'd offered to a cautious new mom.

In late June, Abby responded to "First-time mom in New Jersey," who wondered whether she should ask other parents if they have guns at home before allowing her daughter to play there.

"Where do I draw the line?" First-time mom wondered. "Do I ask everyone whose house I'll be going to whether or not they have guns? What are the appropriate questions? Do I ask where they are stored and who has access? What else should I ask? Or should I mind my own business?"

At first, Abby went the let's-not-ruffle-any-feathers route.

"If you start asking other parents whether they have guns in their homes and how they store them, your questions may be off-putting," she wrote. "Because you are concerned for your child's safety, why not offer to have the kids visit your house for play dates?"

About a third of Americans with children under 18 have guns at home, according to the nonpartisan Pew Research Center.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that pediatricians incorporate questions about the presence and availability of guns into patient visits, and the group advises parents to pose similar questions.

"Before their children visit other homes, parents may ask about pets in the house, discuss allergies and internet access, and inquire whether an adult will be home," the group states. "Whether children can access guns also should be part of the conversation."

Off-putting or not.

Many, many (many) folks contacted Abby to express their disappointment after her response was publicized by Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense.

Georgia mom Julvonnia McDowell, whose 14-year-old son JaJuan McDowell was killed by a gun at his friend's house, wrote an open letter to Abby asking her to reconsider her initial reply.

"It is time to shine our own lights on this issue," McDowell wrote. "If you are committed to giving sound advice and promoting a culture of gun safety — as I believe you are — I urge you to educate yourself and update your advice."

And to her credit, she did. On her Twitter and Facebook pages, Abby shared a mea culpa.

"I should have advised, 'You are responsible for your child's welfare. Part of assuring that your daughter will be safe involves asking whether there are weapons on the premises and, if so, what safety precautions have been taken,'" she wrote. "If anyone feels your concern for your child's safety is presumptuous, do not allow your child to go there."

Much better advice, and proof that it's worth debating the topics we hold dearest, no matter how bitterly divided we feel at this moment in time. Particularly when a child's safety is in question.

Minds — and hearts — do change.



hstevens@chicagotribune.com

Pauline Phillips/Dear abbey died in 2013.

Is she channeling from the grave?

quote:

Originally posted by sig2392:
Pauline Phillips/Dear abbey died in 2013.

Is she channeling from the grave?

Her daughter took over after she died.

Kind of reminds me of something related to this subject from a few years back. Doctors were being told to ask children whether their parents had guns at home. And in some cases, IIRC, were actually expected to forward that info to some gubbermint agency or other. My doctor knows I have at least one gun, because I wear it there, including physicals when I get heart scans, etc.

Nobody has said a word to me about it, nor do I expect them to do so.

As far as anyone asking about guns in my household, it in none of their business!!!

I do not have small kids around here anymore. If I did, I would make sure they knew the proper answer to questions about guns in the house. Specifically, NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

I would ask first-time mom if she had a pool, bathtub, or staircase.

Busybodies gotta do what busybodies do.

quote:

Originally posted by k5blazer:
I would ask first-time mom if she had a pool, bathtub, or staircase.

Or are there any alcoholic beverages in the house?

Anything poisonous under the kitchen sink? In the basement? In the garage?
.

A parent has the right to ask anyone who's taking responsibility of their children anything that concerns them. They may not like the answer and all questions should be asked in a courteous manner. For example:

"Hi so and so, if you own any firearms, alcohol or fireworks are they properly secured and the kids won't be able to access them?"

I know people who like their pot on occasions and while I don't have kids, if I did and I had to leave mine with them I'd make it clear that I respect their lifestyle choices but at the same time expect that they're not under the influence or doing it around my kids. If I didn't trust them, I'd simply make other arrangements. One of my friends is a huge pot head in his mid 30s and I wouldn't leave my dog with him, let alone kids despite the fact he has a 7 year old daughter with another on the way.

quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Eye:
A parent has the right to ask anyone who's taking responsibility of their children anything that concerns them. They may not like the answer and all questions should be asked in a courteous manner. For example:

"Hi so and so, if you own any firearms, alcohol or fireworks are they properly secured and the kids won't be able to access them?"

I know people who like their pot on occasions and while I don't have kids, if I did and I had to leave mine with them I'd make it clear that I respect their lifestyle choices but expect that they're not under the influence or doing it around my kids. If I didn't trust them, I'd simply make other arrangements. One of my friends is a huge pot head in his mid 30s and I wouldn't leave my dog with him, let alone kids despite the fact he has a 7 year old daughter with another on the way.

Why is he a friend?

Are there any pedophiles in the house?

what did she say that was so overtly offensive?

quote:

Originally posted by Floyd D. Barber:

quote:

Originally posted by Dead_Eye:
A parent has the right to ask anyone who's taking responsibility of their children anything that concerns them. They may not like the answer and all questions should be asked in a courteous manner. For example:

"Hi so and so, if you own any firearms, alcohol or fireworks are they properly secured and the kids won't be able to access them?"

I know people who like their pot on occasions and while I don't have kids, if I did and I had to leave mine with them I'd make it clear that I respect their lifestyle choices but expect that they're not under the influence or doing it around my kids. If I didn't trust them, I'd simply make other arrangements. One of my friends is a huge pot head in his mid 30s and I wouldn't leave my dog with him, let alone kids despite the fact he has a 7 year old daughter with another on the way.

Why is he a friend?

He's not anymore and that's one of many reasons why. I should have wrote ex-friend.

How are your kitchen knives secured?

Do you have a net to catch the kids if they climb over the banister and fall?

Is there electricity in your home, and how do you protect children from its lethal effects?

Are your dildos and vibrators well hidden?

So many questions need to be asked. Make them fill out an application and get it notarized, then attest to end under oath while taking a polygraph.

quote:

Originally posted by Floyd D. Barber:

quote:

Originally posted by k5blazer:
I would ask first-time mom if she had a pool, bathtub, or staircase.

Or are there any alcoholic beverages in the house?

Or saws, or hammers, or sporting goods, or gasoline, or ........
Either you trust the people or you don't. If you dont kid doesn't go over.

Baseballs.

I gave my brother a bloody nose while playing "Catch" in the back yard when we were little.

Make sure all baseballs are secured.

By the way, Mom, when we were growing up there were over 20 guns in the house, ranging from single-shot .22's to a WWII Mauser, and ammo for all but three of them. Nobody died.

quote:

Originally posted by Elk Hunter:
Doctors were being told to ask children whether their parents had guns at home. And in some cases, IIRC, were actually expected to forward that info to some gubbermint agency or other.

Got a link showing that docs were asking kids, and expected to forward the info to some government agency. I know docs were encouraged to ask parents about it, but never saw that they were told to ask children and forward the responses to any government agency.

Its informative for young mothers to ask such questions. It tells the person being asked that the mother is a lefty and probably not someone you really need your kid playing with. You will also figure out she voted for the Hag and other left wing causes. Nice way of saying she's probably a piece of shit.

quote:

Originally posted by rburg:
Its informative for young mothers to ask such questions. It tells the person being asked that the mother is a lefty and probably not someone you really need your kid playing with. You will also figure out she voted for the Hag and other left wing causes. Nice way of saying she's probably a piece of shit.

If the other parent doesn't have any guns, how are they going to protect the children from intruders, bears, or zombies?

Ha. My kid would be... only 1 gun ? Your dad is a rookie compared to my dad.