I have come up with yet another alternative to place my final remains other than internment into the ground or vault, cremation or communal consumption (While most cultures frown apon cannibalism, I would rather rest in the warm belly of a friend than the cold hard ground ). Much to my wife's horror, I have decided to start the Mason Jar Memorial Home and garden. With all the money being spent on body modification and tattoos, why would you want all that work covered up for the last party you will ever attend? With my unique 100 to 200 gallon mason jars, you loved ones will be able to appreciate the lifetime of artwork you have accumulated. Just because that tattoo of a Disney butterfly now looks like a dragon from Game of Thrones aside, granny deserves the respect for all those hours under the electric tattoo needle. If your loved one was overly fond of body piercing then you can opt for the vibration option which transforms them into a post mortem castinette. Those with extensive artwork might want to choose the rotating base to display all of the poor choices in tattoos that look like Jackson Polack had a threesome with Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso. With the advances in LED lighting the choices are endless. We will of course offer options of preservation liquid (Whiskey, rum, vodka, formaldehyde, pickle juice (eggs or pigs feet, your choice). To make sure your loved one is in optimal condition, all you have to do is tap the lid to see if it is popped. With Pars's permission, I would like to offer forum members first opportunity at this nonground round breaking (pun intended) offer, (you might end up looking like a specimen from area 51 because all I have at the moment is elythlyne glycol antifreeze, hey might make you a collectors item).

OK, that's kinda creepy, man.

But, then again,

Ferengi death ritual:

A disk of vacuum desiccated remains.

The Ferengi death ritual consisted primarily of preserving a Ferengi body after death by means of vacuum desiccation. The process resulted in the Ferengi's body being reduced to a near powder, which was often stored in a set of 52 disks, marked with the Ferengi Seal of Dismemberment, and sold as a collectible on the Ferengi Futures Exchange.

H&K-Guy

Is there a go fund me page yet?

quote:

Originally posted by cparktd:
Is there a go fund me page yet?

No, I sold all my aluminum beer cans, car radiators and lead core batteries to start this.

there's an outfit down south that loads shotgun shells with the mortal remains....

although mason jars may catch on, what with the preppers & all....

I see you real point here, and I'm on board. No money for X,Y, or Z, but thousands of $$$ worth of trashy tattoo's all over. I see it all the time.

Didn't Roald Dahl write a short atory about this idea? Varnishing tattoos and displaying them as art?

Roald Dahl, Skin

Someone already took your idea to the next level. It's called (some variation of) the Human Body Exhibit. They inject you with plastic and let the world see all of you - inside and out.

Got to admit after the mention of the Large Mason jar I laughed out loud.

Why don't you go with the Ed Gean option skin out the remains and make decorative lamp shades displaying the tattoos. Takes up less space and fully functional.

I really like the ancient Egyptian method. Hell maybe they were right. I do find the prospect of being buried in a pyramid with lots of guns and motos to be kinda appealing.

I keep telling my wife that I am going to have her stuffed and sit her on the sofa.

I like the fireworks option.
http://www.heavensabovefireworks.com/

I'm not into tattoos, but the thoughts of a 200 gallon mason jar full of Grey Goose, might make me jump in early!

I don't really give a fuck what they do after I'm dead so long as they're nice while I'm still around.

What about Para's tubes?

Maybe they could be offered for long, long term lease if the airlines can't make a go of them.

-Rob

quote:

Originally posted by Tuckerrnr1:
I have come up with yet another alternative to place my final remains other than internment...

My Good Man, you need a hobby to take up more of your idle time...

I told the wife I want a Viking funeral. Put me on a boat in the middle of the harbor and set me on fire. Somewhere down the line I think it's illegal, but I don't care I'll be dead.

Last night my wife asked me where I wanted to be buried. I guess "Balls deep in your sister" is not the answer she was expecting.

quote:

Originally posted by George43:
Last night my wife asked me where I wanted to be buried. I guess "Balls deep in your sister" is not the answer she was expecting.

So you will be needing my services sooner than you thought.