I've always been kind of strict and kind of the one less likely to bend the rules. My son is getting a little older now and I know he wont be a kid for much longer. The wife and I have accepted we wont be having any more kids, we have tried but miscarriages and health issues have stopped that, and we have tried adoption, but that didn't work out at all.

Just realizing that lately I am letting him get away with things and spoiling him more than I normally would.

How old is he?

You and I are very similar in how we raise our boys, as I catch myself doing the same thing now that they are 14. Overall they are very good kids though, but I still "tighten them up" from time to time, just to remind them that I am still ultimately the boss.

An example being that I might permit them to argue a point longer than I normally would, and will occasionally give in to a logical argument.

Talking back or not listening to their mom is a deal breaker though, and I fall right back into "dick dad" when that happens.

Don't get soft. Communicate with him why you are correcting him and that you love him more than your own life, but discipline will follow regardless. Greater love is shown in discipline. Regret is all that follows softness.

The goal is always to prepare the child for a happy successful life.
Know their dad loves them is important.
But learning self control and responsibility is also important.
"Spoiling" would always be a bad thing; but it is such a fine nuance to what is really "spoiling."

You have to go with what you REALLY THINK is right.

As my son has gotten older he is becime more of a friend. Most if my work is done; now, I'm reaping the benefits. He's a smart, handsome, respectable young man.

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
Don't get soft. Communicate with him why you are correcting him and that you love him more than your own life, but discipline will follow regardless. Greater love is shown in discipline. Regret is all that follows softness.

Agreed - no need to by a tyrant, but the teenage years are rife with potential pitfalls.

Not saying an extra trip for ice cream or 30 min more computer time is gonna ruin it - usually but that age they've either "got it" or they don't.

Parenting ebbs and flows - sometimes you can loosen up with more privaledges, sometimes you need to buckle down. But respect and responsibility are things that should never slide.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
Talking back or not listening to their mom is a deal breaker though, and I fall right back into "dick dad" when that happens.

This is good to hear. I wish more people felt this way.

quote:

Originally posted by 83v45magna:

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
Talking back or not listening to their mom is a deal breaker though, and I fall right back into "dick dad" when that happens.

This is good to hear. I wish more people felt this way.

My dad pulled his belt out if I disrespected my mom. I could get away with many slighter things, but that was not tolerated.

flashguy

quote:

Originally posted by flashguy:

quote:

Originally posted by 83v45magna:

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
Talking back or not listening to their mom is a deal breaker though, and I fall right back into "dick dad" when that happens.

This is good to hear. I wish more people felt this way.

My dad pulled his belt out if I disrespected my mom. I could get away with many slighter things, but that was not tolerated.

flashguy

My dad had a razor strop hanging in his closet. We all knew exactly where it was. I don't recall it ever being used on any of us, but you didn't see us pushing the boundaries either...