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Investigators say a Fort Wayne man cut off his penis, lit it on fire and then used it to set his mom's garage on fire

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/5080033125

July 08, 2026, 11:31 PM
Rightwire
Investigators say a Fort Wayne man cut off his penis, lit it on fire and then used it to set his mom's garage on fire
I've seen some pretty unique methods for arson or attempted arson, but this is on an entirely new level.

I will hazard a guess that his initial explanation likely included the phrase "I was naked and fell on it/it fell off/caught fire..." IYKYK




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July 09, 2026, 04:52 AM
pbslinger
Ends all worries about the little head thinking for the big head.
July 09, 2026, 05:05 AM
Patriot
He probably thought it would grow back


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July 09, 2026, 05:20 AM
RichardC
Maybe he was trying that ages-old remedy for a case of the crabs, ...



and ...


it got out of hand.
July 09, 2026, 05:24 AM
two-two-niner-romeo
Assault with a friendly weapon?



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July 09, 2026, 05:46 AM
lastmanstanding
Um, I would think the pain would be so excruciating you would go into shock and pass out. If not the pain would leave you incapable of doing anything. How do you start a penis on fire and use it as a torch to start a fire? Sounds like a half cocked story.


"Fixed fortifications are monuments to mans stupidity" - George S. Patton
July 09, 2026, 07:34 AM
ScotP7
He is currently re-evaluating his candidacy for the Indiana Senate race.
July 09, 2026, 07:59 AM
Calif Phil
Now he realized it was a half-cocked idea.
July 09, 2026, 08:34 AM
P220 Smudge
/looks at watch

It’s 6:34 AM.

That’s enough internet for the day.


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July 09, 2026, 08:40 AM
Captain Morgan
Looks like he wont be getting any in prison.



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July 09, 2026, 08:45 AM
downeastnc1
How did he not bleed to death?
July 09, 2026, 08:45 AM
pbslinger
Can someone create a meme from video of Jimi Hendrix lighting his guitar with lighter fluid but with a severed penis?
July 09, 2026, 09:01 AM
xantom
Do you just bleed out while you are lighting it? What was in that garage??!




"We've done four already, but now we're steady..."
July 09, 2026, 09:09 AM
Expert308
quote:
Originally posted by downeastnc1:
How did he not bleed to death?

Paracord tourniquet?
July 09, 2026, 09:11 AM
wcb6092
The only way he knew to cauterize the blood vessels.


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July 09, 2026, 09:34 AM
WaterburyBob
My crotch hurts just reading this



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July 09, 2026, 10:26 AM
trapper189
Guy’s got balls.
July 09, 2026, 10:33 AM
92fstech
quote:
Originally posted by trapper189:
Guy’s got balls.


He did. But I'll bet he doesn't have the balls to do it again!

This is basically local to me...Ft Wayne is the nearest "Big City." I wonder what concoction of chemicals it took to convince him that this was a good idea, or if he's just plain old-fashioned nuts. At least we don't have to worry about him passing it on if it's hereditary.


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July 09, 2026, 04:33 PM
wrightd
quote:
Originally posted by PowerSurge:
That was a dick move no matter how you slice it

So far the winner, but I haven't read the rest of the thread...




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July 09, 2026, 04:51 PM
Tuckerrnr1
quote:
Originally posted by YooperSigs:
Who would bond this dude out? His Mom, im guessing


Lorena Bobbitt?


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