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half-genius,
half-wit
posted
- Hello! Gordon's pizza?

- No sir this is Google's pizza.

- Sorry, I must have dialed a wrong number?

- No sir, Google bought out Gordon's Pizza a short while ago.

- OK. Take my order please.

- OK sir, would you like your usual?"

- The usual? You know me?

- According to our caller-ID database, your last 12 orders were for pizza with cheese and sausage toppings, thick crust and crisp.

- OK! That's it...

- May I suggest this time you add ricotta, arugula with dry tomato toppings?

- What? I hate vegetables!!

- Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

- How do you know that?

- We cross-matched your phone number with your name and your online medical portal. We have the result of your blood tests for the past 7 years.

- Okay, but I do not want those toppings, I already take medicine ...

- Excuse me, but you have not taken your medicine regularly. We can see from our database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 anti-cholesterol tablets at CVS.

- I bought more from another pharmacy.

- Such a transaction is not showing in your credit card account.

- I paid in cash.

- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your recent bank statement.

- I have another source of cash.

- That is not showing as per your latest tax return unless you obtained it from an undeclared income source.

WHAT THE.....

- I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

- Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook,Twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to spy on me.

- I understand sir but you'll need to renew your passport first as it expired 6 weeks ago!

tac
 
Posts: 11472 | Location: UK, OR, ONT | Registered: July 10, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Age Quod Agis
Picture of ArtieS
posted Hide Post
- The last three times you flew, you chose Virgin Atlantic. Here are their best fares for the flights you want.



"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."

Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
 
Posts: 13003 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: November 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of jbcummings
posted Hide Post
I think I've seen a similar version of this before, but it's still scarey funny. Ever see the 5th Element? In it places like Taco Bell have become the primary food source. Apparently the writers didn't see Amazon and Google coming.


———-
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for thou art crunchy and taste good with catsup.
 
Posts: 4306 | Location: DFW | Registered: May 21, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Do the next
right thing
Picture of bobtheelf
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by jbcummings:
I think I've seen a similar version of this before, but it's still scarey funny. Ever see the 5th Element? In it places like Taco Bell have become the primary food source. Apparently the writers didn't see Amazon and Google coming.


You're thinking of Demolition Man. All restaurants are Taco Bell.
 
Posts: 3682 | Location: Nashville | Registered: July 23, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nullus Anxietas
Picture of ensigmatic
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by bobtheelf:
You're thinking of Demolition Man. All restaurants are Taco Bell.

Yeah. The Fifth Element featured McDonald's.



"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher
 
Posts: 26009 | Location: S.E. Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of jbcummings
posted Hide Post
Yeah, got them all crewed up didn't I?


———-
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for thou art crunchy and taste good with catsup.
 
Posts: 4306 | Location: DFW | Registered: May 21, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I Wanna Missile
Picture of tanksoldier
posted Hide Post
Log out of the home computer, log into the work computer and have the same Google search come up... it's freaky.



"I am a Soldier. I fight where I'm told and I win where I fight."
GEN George S. Patton, Jr.
 
Posts: 21542 | Location: Eastern plains of Colorado | Registered: January 25, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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