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Big Decision - help me figure out the pluses and minuses Login/Join 
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
posted
Background:

1. I'm 66 and in pretty good health. Wife is 73 and has a few issues but nothing life-threatening.

2. We live in a semi-rural area, 20+ miles from health care, in a old home. It's in pretty good repair, but it IS 100+ years old. It's paid for.

3. Based on 1 and 2 above, my wife has been pitching the idea of selling out and moving closer to town. Actually, she'd move into an apartment IN town in a second. I'll die first.

4. Daughter is in the process of building a new house on 9 wooded acres 10 minutes from shopping and medical care. She has stated that we are more than welcome to put a house on her land.

So, pluses:

Close to conveniences and health care yet still a rural atmosphere.

Newer, more energy efficient, handicap accessible home. No stairs.

Part of the "deal" with my wife is that I'd build a new, heated shop/garage/storage building.

Lot is large enough that I wouldn't have to live "right next door" to my daughter.

It's zoned rural so we could keep our chickens.

Surrounding land is owned by entities that make development unlikely. In any event, the lot is large enough that we wouldn't have close neighbors.

Minuses:

Higher taxes. Possible zoning restrictions.

Moving all my stuff. I get tired just thinking about it. I'd have to ruthlessly prune my possessions to even consider it.

The hassle of selling this place and getting enough for it to cover the expenses of a new place. Going into debt is a non-starter.

The hassle of building a new place and finding somewhere to live and store my shit in the interim.

Not sure I'd have enough to do to keep from going nuts. While the maintenance on this place can be an aggravation, it also keeps me active and outdoors.

Legal questions:

I expect she included the property as part of the collateral for the mortgage.

If that is the case, deeding part of it to us, or subdividing it is probably not an option without major hassles, if it's even possible.

If I can't pay cash, I won't be doing this so I won't have to worry about a mortgage, but if I build on her land and she loses the place, how screwed am I?

So, what I'm looking for here is experience with any of this, and point out considerations that I've missed.




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
 
Posts: 15209 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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IANAL, but I think she would need to sell you a lot on her land and work out the collateral issue. At some point in the future, the two houses will be purchased by unrelated owners and each will need clear title.
 
Posts: 8954 | Location: The Red part of Minnesota | Registered: October 06, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Yes there are some details to work out but based on your information I'd look to make the move. It puts you closer to services and family in a newer place. You can handle the upkeep on your 100 year old house now but the reality is that you won't be able to forever. When that time comes you are then close enough to family for them to easily assist.
 
Posts: 1960 | Location: Indiana or Florida depending on season  | Registered: March 18, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Ammoholic
Picture of Skins2881
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Powers77:
Yes there are some details to work out but based on your information I'd look to make the move. It puts you closer to services and family in a newer place. You can handle the upkeep on your 100 year old house now but the reality is that you won't be able to forever. When that time comes you are then close enough to family for them to easily assist.


This.

If a lot can be separated I do it in a second. Sounds like best of both worlds. Close to family, shopping, and medical services. Plus you get workshop and chickens to keep you busy. Also you can build it in a manner that would be conducive to later when mobility could be an issue.



Jesse

Sic Semper Tyrannis
 
Posts: 20815 | Location: Loudoun County, Virginia | Registered: December 27, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Just Hanging Around
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The health care issue would be one of the things I would think about the most.

I'm 65, and my wife is 66. We're in pretty good shape now, but who knows what another 10 or 15 years will bring.

If you're 20+ miles from a hospital, that's 20 miles for the ambulance to get to you, and another 20 miles back to the hospital.
 
Posts: 3228 | Location: NE Kansas | Registered: February 24, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Muddflap:
The health care issue would be one of the things I would think about the most.

I'm 65, and my wife is 66. We're in pretty good shape now, but who knows what another 10 or 15 years will bring.

If you're 20+ miles from a hospital, that's 20 miles for the ambulance to get to you, and another 20 miles back to the hospital.


Indeed. Already dealt with that on an emergency basis. 30-45 minutes to get here and local fire department is EMT-Basic. Waiting that long when you're not sure you're gonna get your next breath is the scariest thing I've ever experienced.




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
 
Posts: 15209 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Just Hanging Around
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by Muddflap:
The health care issue would be one of the things I would think about the most.

I'm 65, and my wife is 66. We're in pretty good shape now, but who knows what another 10 or 15 years will bring.

If you're 20+ miles from a hospital, that's 20 miles for the ambulance to get to you, and another 20 miles back to the hospital.


Indeed. Already dealt with that on an emergency basis. 30-45 minutes to get here and local fire department is EMT-Basic. Waiting that long when you're not sure you're gonna get your next breath is the scariest thing I've ever experienced.


My dad lived in a rural area, in another state. I know, before he passed, he was sure thinking about the distance to get help.
 
Posts: 3228 | Location: NE Kansas | Registered: February 24, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Not really from Vienna
Picture of arfmel
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We are in somewhat the same situation, but have no kids. I have been thinking of hiring an auction company to sell our stuff instead of moving it. The last 300 mile move we made (17 years ago) took nearly a year of pissanting farm equipment, household goods, and various collectibles via stock and flatbed trailers and pickup truck. I have neither the inclination nor the ability to do that again. And I am not getting any younger.
 
Posts: 26893 | Location: Jerkwater, Texas | Registered: January 30, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Dividing by zero
since 1966
Picture of rekstrom
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Happy wife, happy life. Hire a realtor to handle the sale, and a mover to handle the move. Enjoy your new heated shop, and your happy wife.

Honestly, this sounds like a pretty obvious decision....especially down the road with potential health issues?
 
Posts: 2952 | Location: between locations at the moment | Registered: October 31, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Lawyers, Guns
and Money
Picture of chellim1
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by MNSIG:
IANAL, but I think she would need to sell you a lot on her land and work out the collateral issue. At some point in the future, the two houses will be purchased by unrelated owners and each will need clear title.

That's correct.

Your daughter would have to sell you part of the land. Before you make any plans to build I would walk the property with your daughter and discuss exactly where the line would be drawn. Then you would need to have it surveyed. You will then be in a position to put in an application with the local P&Z authority for division of the property.

Depending on the loan/value ratio her lender may not object. If they do, she can always use the money from the land sale to pay down her loan and/or re-finance with another lender.

Where there's a will, there's a way.



"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible."
-- Justice Janice Rogers Brown

"The United States government is the largest criminal enterprise on earth."
-rduckwor
 
Posts: 24066 | Location: St. Louis, MO | Registered: April 03, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My dog crosses the line
Picture of Jeff Yarchin
posted Hide Post
Is a second home a possibility? If so consider building a tiny house.
 
Posts: 12917 | Registered: June 20, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drill Here, Drill Now
Picture of tatortodd
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by Muddflap:
The health care issue would be one of the things I would think about the most.

I'm 65, and my wife is 66. We're in pretty good shape now, but who knows what another 10 or 15 years will bring.

If you're 20+ miles from a hospital, that's 20 miles for the ambulance to get to you, and another 20 miles back to the hospital.


Indeed. Already dealt with that on an emergency basis. 30-45 minutes to get here and local fire department is EMT-Basic. Waiting that long when you're not sure you're gonna get your next breath is the scariest thing I've ever experienced.
My Dad is 69 (in good health thankfully) and has several friends who are older than him. One piece of wisdom an older friend shared was that at 50 you have a step change in ability roughly every 10 years, but when you hit 70 you have a step change in ability roughly every 5 years.

Dad is right around the corner from the fire station so he feels pretty good about that, but he is openly wondering how much longer he can keep up a 20 year old house on a 1/2 acre.



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
 
Posts: 23220 | Location: Northern Suburbs of Houston | Registered: November 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Crusty old
curmudgeon
Picture of Jimbo54
posted Hide Post
Have you considered buying a medivac insurance policy? We are only 8-10 min away from a major medical facility by vehicle so we don't need it ourselves, however we are in a similar situation regarding the upkeep of our 3 acre property with 2 out buildings and an old house that needs constant upkeep and up grades.

Jim


________________________

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning" -Catherine Aird
 
Posts: 9791 | Location: The right side of Washington State | Registered: September 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
posted Hide Post
The bank almost certainly has a lien on the whole tract, and your house would become part of the whole tract. If they had to foreclose, they'd get "your" house. It wouldn't be your house because it would be on your daughter's land. It would become part of her land. You might be some sort of joint venturer or tenant-in-common (some form of co-owners, or maybe not), but you MUST go to a Maine lawyer and paper that up in advance so everyone's interests, obligations, and liabilities are clear in advance. Or, she could sell you a piece of the tract, but that would still be subject to the lender's approval, as I am quite sure that there is a clause in her deed of trust that prohibits her selling part of the tract. Getting that straight is an absolute requirement.

Twenty miles from health care seems like nothing to me, but maybe Texas distance standards are different. We drive 100 miles to get barbeque. Wink

I wouldn't move at this point if I were you, but I'm not married to your wife.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 53121 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Too old to run,
too mean to quit!
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by rekstrom:
Happy wife, happy life. Hire a realtor to handle the sale, and a mover to handle the move. Enjoy your new heated shop, and your happy wife.

Honestly, this sounds like a pretty obvious decision....especially down the road with potential health issues?


This, but I would get the issue of ownership of the lot upon which the house would be built cleared up. Buy and acre? 100 year lease?

etc, but consider longer term ramifications!

Were I in that situation, I would work to secure a lot at the border of the 9 acres so access could not be denied should situation go south.

The rationale for doing it makes a lot of sense!


Elk

There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour)

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. "
-Thomas Jefferson

"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville

FBHO!!!



The Idaho Elk Hunter
 
Posts: 25642 | Location: Virginia | Registered: December 16, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His Royal Hiney
Picture of Rey HRH
posted Hide Post
Focusing just on the logistics of it, if your daughter invited / want you to build a house on her land, then I would do it.

Many people would inwardly envy you for 1) having a daughter willing and wanting to do that for you and 2) having the option to do so.

I think the benefits of that arrangement outweighs any costs. You just need to address all the other legal / financial risks. They're risks but they could be addressed.



"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
 
Posts: 19645 | Location: The Free State of Arizona - Ditat Deus | Registered: March 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
posted Hide Post
Investigating details:

1. Bank says she can have the survey redone minus an acre of land and if the value doesn't change radically, she can do a "release deed" on an acre. (She was gifted the land so she wouldn't be "out" anything, plus we gave her the 19 acres she used to live on and sold)

2. City says no issues with a second house on the lot as long as the usual setback restrictions are observed.

3. A friend of the family is a licensed appraiser and will give us an undocumented "freebie" appraisal on our place so we know whether it's feasible to go any further.




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
 
Posts: 15209 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Crusty old
curmudgeon
Picture of Jimbo54
posted Hide Post
It sounds like your ducks are falling in a row. I don't envy your moving dilemma but it's looking feasible.

Good luck,

Jim


________________________

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning" -Catherine Aird
 
Posts: 9791 | Location: The right side of Washington State | Registered: September 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of ShouldBFishin
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I don’t have any advice, but I do empathize with you. Last summer my father and his wife moved from the house he’d lived in for over 40 years (the house itself was also over 100 years old) to a new house that will require very little maintenance. That move was a major process. It’s amazing how much stuff can be accumulated over time. Dad still has a monster pole barn and machine shop a few miles out of town full of tractors and stationary engines that he keeps busy with during the summer.


I will say that both dad and his wife are very happy they moved (after the moving was complete). Dad has much more free time to sped doing whatever he chooses to do, and there are no steps for his wife to contend with (that was part of the issue with the old house).


My fiancée and I have been talking about the future – at some point we’d like to be living in the country. Her mom currently lives with her. My future MIL has been quite good to my daughter and I over the years and is healthy and independent. If we can swing it, I’d like to build a “tiny house” for her on our future property. Not sure if we’ll be able to do it right away, but it’s a goal we’ll be working towards.


That reminds me, I’ve got some stuff to get rid of… Big Grin


Best of luck
 
Posts: 1800 | Location: MN | Registered: March 29, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by ShouldBFishin:
I don’t have any advice, but I do empathize with you. Last summer my father and his wife moved from the house he’d lived in for over 40 years (the house itself was also over 100 years old) to a new house that will require very little maintenance. That move was a major process. It’s amazing how much stuff can be accumulated over time. Dad still has a monster pole barn and machine shop a few miles out of town full of tractors and stationary engines that he keeps busy with during the summer.

<snip>


That reminds me, I’ve got some stuff to get rid of… Big Grin


Best of luck


No shit. If this comes off, there'll be a YUGE yard sale here in East Overshoe. And at least one roll-off...




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
 
Posts: 15209 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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