My mother wants a copy of my youngest daughter’s high school graduation announcement. So I tell her to send her one. And this is where the fail happens when she told me, “Dad, I don’t know how to address an envelope.”

Now this is a girl that was in the NHS and played and started on her high school boy’s baseball team. She was also the first girl to start in a boy’s state championship game in our state and that while only being 5’6” and weighing at most 104 lbs.

But able to send a letter? Nope. Nada. She didn’t know what to do. Her next comment, “I’ll look on YouTube Dad.”

We did correct this failure of mine today and we didn’t go to YouTube.

In her defense, we march towards a paperless mankind. Maybe she's a pioneer.

I have to do that maybe twice a year.

quote:

Originally posted by pbslinger:
In her defense, we march towards a paperless mankind. Maybe she's a pioneer.

^^^^^
Her entire generation. These kids are smart and accomplished. But some of the things we take for granted from an earlier time, they have no idea what to do. I have a picture I need to dig up of her and my youngest son trying to figure out how to use a jukebox at a local dinner.

Problem Solved: Show your daughter how send a letter. No big deal, that's far from being a failure. The fact that your daughter came to you tells me that you're a pretty dang good dad. Way to go.

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This feels like the opposite of a failure to me. Your daughter needs something and she comes to Dad. That’s a win all day long.

Next up : changing a flat tire.

quote:

Originally posted by bendable:
Next up : changing a flat tire.

Wow, exactly this!

I recently had to teach my son how to address an envelope. He’s a freshman in college, state swimmer champ, on a full pre-med scholarship… great kid, I’m blessed. I taught him how to do the envelope, and literally the next thing o thought was “oh shit did I teach him how to change a tire?”

I will look on Youtube. The Encyclopedia Brittanica of the new age.

The next thing to teach them, letters need stamps.

No big deal. If you grew up in a 100% electronic environment and she grew up in your time frame, you would be asking her how to mail the letter. When your daughter was born corresponding by letter was already dead. So there is no failure here, it was sweet of her to ask you for your help.

Another way to think of this is next time you need to do something you don't normally do on the computer involving marketing, sales, social media etc., you might find yourself a little lost. But young people like your daughter do that stuff with their eyes closed. I have two adult daughters that do all those things on the internet, and I ask them for their help when I need to do those kinds of things, and I'm a 35+ year full time software engineer.

So in the big picture it's not really a thing, it's just your perspective, which like mine is a little behind the times, which is the natural progression of life.

Granted it was 37 or so years ago now, but one of the most useful classes I ever took in Hight School, or any level for that matter was something called "Personal Business Finance(?)" or something, I think it counted as a math credit for people who were terrible in math.

But that's what the whole class was, things like that. How to write a check, how to balance a check book, how to fill out a job application, how to fill out tax returns etc etc. Things you needed to know, but if you didn't have a family member show you, you wouldn't have ever done it yet.

Seems we need that NOW MORE THAN EVER. (This coming from a guy who 40% of his job is explaining to college students how a door knob works. (Lord I wish I were joking.))

It sounds stupid, because I send out literally thousands of letters for work every year (I just got another 4000 envelopes this week), but I sometimes look at a blank envelope and cannot remember which corner the stamp goes in. It's not new, either; I'm in my 60's and have always had this flaw.

For work, the envelopes are window envelopes, franked with the return address already printed. I never have to think about how to set them up. That infrequent blank envelope, though, can still trip me up. If necessary, I drag something out of the mail to use as a template.

So tell the son, "If you're not cheating, you're not trying. Copy someone else's work!"

quote:

Originally posted by bendable:
Next up : changing a flat tire.

My daughter did that to me in the 90s. Right after school she and friends had a flat. Daughter called me as I work nearby. The car was one of the friends. The flat tire was hugging the curb. It was pouring rain. They didn't even pay me!

You could have told her to google it, search in YouTube, or ask ChatGPT.

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:
You could have told her to google it, search in YouTube, or ask ChatGPT.

As part of the “figure it out yourself” generation (Gen X), I love these tools. But I find my Gen Z children don’t even know how to these sources to find answers on how to do things.

Like cas, back in high school we had a class called Family Living/Bachelor Survival operating under the Home Economics teacher. I took it, thinking I might need to know stuff. Auto shop was more fun, but schools should offer practical life stuff as well as academics.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Times change and systems with them. Look at the changes from when you were a teen compared to how your parents operated. I’m 58 and my mother in her mid 80’s is completely flummoxed by what I know and can do more or less because of what was available to her generation. My own kids are more savvy with modern trappings even as I recognize it and stay as current as possible. It’s generational.

Can she read and write in cursive?

quote:

Originally posted by BB61:
But some of the things we take for granted from an earlier time, they have no idea what to do.

Yep.

Do you know how to saddle a horse?

How to tan animal hide and turn it into shoes?

How to make your own soap?

How to turn milk into butter or cheese?

How to fashion and care for a bow?

How to use an abacus? (Or even a slide rule, for the post-Boomer generations.)

How to properly address all the various levels of aristocracy in your community?

Does not knowing how to do that make you an idiot, or your parents a failure? No. You just never had a reason to learn how to do what used to be everyday things to prior generations but have since fallen out of common use.

The reality is that there's near-zero reason for a younger person like your daughter to mail a physical letter in this age of ubiquitous electronic communications. So she's never needed to learn. The same goes for stuff like cursive and check writing, which typically also get trotted out by older folks as examples of how useless "kids these days" are, but are similarly antiquated and nigh-unnecessary in today's age.

She's fine.

I'm glad you were able to teach her. But don't be surprised if she never needs to use that again.

The world is ever-changing, and every one of our skill sets will get left behind at some point. It's happening to you now, and it will happen to your daughter some day as well.

After all she has accomplished, she still knows that she can depend on you for help anytime. Sounds like a good father any day of the week.

As for me, I feel like I'm the last one who hasn't looked up anything on YouTube instead of figuring out myself.