I figure everyone needs a laugh. This is the problem I am facing with my keyboard. It’s slightly embellished, I hope you all get a laugh out if this.

I use an iPad for 98% if my online activity. It works great. The current one is about 6 years old. It has done me well, and still works great. It does what I need it to do, and is capable of far more than my Sigforum and YouTube browsing.

The I key has started a hostile takeover of O's land. It has crossed the border and now occupies at least a third of What used to be O’s autonomous land. O has just sat back and allowed this to happen. I’m convinced that O is following the French guidelines from 1940.

Something has to be done. We cannot allow I to start taking over real estate as it wishes. There is hope that P is getting on board. P has been fed up with my finger having to ride the border of O. This causes multiple unnecessary hits on P and P is not happy about the unwanted border crossings. To the south, K seems pretty neutral in this. We might get K to join the alliance against I, but K seems to have the Switzerland outlook. K us just chillin in the cold, not wanting to get involved, as long as no illegal entries are taking place on their borders.
The northern borders of I are pretty much like Canada. Unpopulated and essentially worthless. At least Canada has maple syrup and Poutine. There will be no assistance from the northern neighbors. They may be stalling the efforts of a coalition with some weird and confusing tactic they throw in called predictive text. This causes many unnecessary border crossings to the backspace key.

Word has it that Z is willing to join the battle and form an alliance. X will join the coalition if Z and one other key is willing to join. X requires at least two neutral parties join the coalition before it will join.
O is worried about funding this operation, because even if O can convince K and Z to join the fight, then X will join. The logistics of getting them all the way across the board is still tricky. Especially without disrupting the other keys, as most won’t even allow fuel stops in their territory.

In an unseen turn of events, 9 has decided to join the coalition. This is due to 8’s allegiance to I. They seem to share the same land in a shapeshifting kind of way. 9 seems to have been secretly and silently invaded by 8, unknown to everyone. It happened right before everyone’s eyes and no one even noticed.

The space bar is being its normal silent and invisible self. Being that it is the major landholder and supreme ruler of the keyboard, it has decided to fund this war. Since there is now adequate funding, the emoticon key has joined the coalition. That is emoticon’s story. We all know that Backspace has been sleeping with emoticon, and emoticon is willing to give up her troops for Backspace. The emoticon key is far more powerful than it appears, as it has an incredible hidden army behind her border. The other keys rarely, if ever see the power of this key, but with one touch, she has the ability to take over the entire keyboard. She has thousands of troops on standby, willing to fight to the bitter end.

Backspace has joined the fight due to its hatred of the northern neighbor, predictive text. Backspace’s conditions of joining is that predictive text must be nuked and paved. There is no room for discussion as this is a hard line by the coalition. Since backspace is sleeping with emoji, Backspace pretty much lays out the rules of engagement. Emoji appears to be the most powerful because of her army, but is wrapped around backspace’s finger. It appears that backspace is planning a coup when the war is over. Backspace holds the power to completely erase any input from other keys. Even one as powerful as Emoticon. Everyone seems to forget the power that backspace holds.

So this is what’s happening in the world of my iPad keyboard. I see the war kicking off any day. It could be the end of this tablet. Please pray for O, and the coalition. Thank Space Bar for the funding. Be cautious of Backspace. He seems a little off kilter, acts on emotions, and will delete anything that crosses his path.

If there are numerous typos in the future in my posts, it’s because of the invasion, insurgency, and uprisings taking place on my keyboard.

If I could have just respected the borders, none if this would be an issue.

That gave me a smile this morning! Awesome!

On a similar subject, I’ve occasionally been known to swap two keys on the computer keyboard at work.....kinda fun to hear about my reliefs struggle with his attempts to type out reports

Thanks for the chuckle. I needed it.

quote:

Originally posted by cgode:
That gave me a smile this morning! Awesome!

On a similar subject, I’ve occasionally been known to swap two keys on the computer keyboard at work.....kinda fun to hear about my reliefs struggle with his attempts to type out reports

He's a H&P typist?

flashguy

quote:

Originally posted by flashguy:

quote:

Originally posted by cgode:
That gave me a smile this morning! Awesome!

On a similar subject, I’ve occasionally been known to swap two keys on the computer keyboard at work.....kinda fun to hear about my reliefs struggle with his attempts to type out reports

He's a H&P typist?

flashguy

Correct....he makes it too easy...of course, I’m a hunt and peck guy myself but more devious!

Sounds like someone blaming an innocent keyboard for his own misspellings!

Back in the day we used to call this sort of thing "fat fingering!" LOL

quote:

Originally posted by bald1:
Back in the day we used to call this sort of thing "fat fingering!" LOL

Well, the issue of the I key's footprint becoming larger and taking over part of the O, is truthful. A lot of times I try to say "of" and "if" appears.

Fat fingering may be part of this, but I think my imagination makes a better story.

quote:

Originally posted by Beancooker:

quote:

Originally posted by bald1:
Back in the day we used to call this sort of thing "fat fingering!" LOL

Well, the issue of the I key's footprint becoming larger and taking over part of the O, is truthful. A lot of times I try to say "of" and "if" appears.

Fat fingering may be part of this, but I think my imagination makes a better story.

While “fat fingering” may indeed play a part......I much prefer the hostile takeover theory....very creative, loved it!

quote:

Originally posted by cgode:

While “fat fingering” may indeed play a part......I much prefer the hostile takeover theory....very creative, loved it!

Oh I quite agree and never intended for anyone to think I was denigrating Noah's unique narrative here.