Arg pirates, I had my first dream last night in which I had cancer.
I am a little creeped out this morning thinking about it.

In the dream, I was somehow arrested for something and remember pleading guilty to the charge and then was back at home.
The was a knock on the door and it was the judge.
He came to apologize to me and vacated my sentence because he learned I was terminally ill.
He then asked me why I did not tell him in court I was sick and he would have found me not guilty.
I replied that I just wanted to be treated normally.
End of dream.

I think this particular dream is pretty clear in it's meaning but nonetheless, it is affecting my mood this morning in a negative way.

As I said, this is my first dream in which I was sick. Since my diagnosis back in January, my dreams have been normal with me in my normal state and not sick.
I hope this is not the new normal.

I can deal with it if it is, but still.

Good morning lbj,

Sorry to hear about the dream last night, you would hope that the mind would give you some reprieve from reality when you sleep.

The beginning of your post made me think of a very stupid joke. So stupid in fact that I hope the punchline at least gives you a moment to smile at the sheer nonsense of it...

Q: What is a Pirate's favorite letter?
A: Arrrrrr
A: Alternate answer: It is the SEA they love!

Be well today. I wish you good thoughts and calm sleep tonight.

There is a book called Gone To Texas by Forrest Carter which was later made into the movie The Outlaw Josey Wales.
The film is word for word the dialogue in the book, it's rather amazing.

In it, one of the female characters says to Josey:
"Do you see 'em?
Josey: "Do I see what."
Her: "Clouds. Clouds are like dreams floatin' across the sky blue mind."
Josey: "That's funny, I never quite thought of them like that before."

She's right of course.

I am very late to this thread. All I want to say has been said often and probably better than I could have said it.

May God bless you and your family. You are a good man.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
I got infused yesterday and it kind of knocked me for a bit of a loop.

Chemo Brain.
I have been down that road.
One or two days after infusion.

Prayers sent

Roy

Keep writing!!

I saw a picture of you the other day, nice.

When my brain clears in another day, I wish to expound on my daughters and how much joy they give me.

It's interesting to me that 41 years later, after lbj's father passed away so suddenly, that I find out several things......First, the scene in the morgue (I knew he'd gone there and sat, didn't know further details), Second that he had a couple of bottles of 'ludes and DID NOT SHARE AT ALL, and third - anything about the summer in the Yucatan. I do enjoy reading the stories........all I will add at this point is at the funeral home, when I finally got there, lbj was in the room with our father, and said to me, "It's ok, you can touch (or kiss him, I can't remember for sure) him, he's just colder", and I didn't say it, but my brain was screaming "NO FREAKING WAY! HE'S FREAKING DEAD!!". It didn't seem like our father to me, it was a diminished dummy or something. Our mother told me, "It's because he doesn't have anything inside him anymore", and I didn't say it but my brain was screaming, "DON'T TELL ME THIS!!!!". Trauma all around, but lbj seems to have come out of all that fine, or well enough anyway.

I used to be a member of this forum years ago, when it first started, but I haven't had that email address in over a decade, so I signed back up. Probably bad form to use my real name, but it's also liberating, because I am me, and fairly fearless......especially with nobody watching.

Hi rob, nice to see you post. It was 1975 back then and given our father's death, I was too preoccupied with that to talk to you about my Yucatan trip. it just seemed unimportant at the time.

Lest anyone here not know, I love my brother!
He's a great person.

Rob,
if you want your old username back, let me know what it was and I can fix for you.
Or supply me the old email address and I can find it.

Oh and I found your older username which is still active. It's robbiedog.

Here is a photo of my whole fam damily.
We are a pretty good looking group IMO.
This was taken at Cedar Point last July before the girls went parasailing.

Gosh I love my family, way more than they know.

The daughters told me it was the best vacation ever.

I've read thru all the pages of this thread without real comment.

I must say that this is probably one of the most inspiring posts I have ever read here, or on any forum for that matter.

Lbj, you are giving us a true gift here. A gift that not only lets us look into your heart and personal life, but our own as well. I have read things here from you that have caused me to pause and reflect on my own road. I truly thank you for that. You are a good man, and will continue to be in my prayers, along with your wonderful family.

LBJ, long time lurker more than poster. Just wanted to say that I have been following this thread and have been touched by your attitude and example you've set for your family. I wish you all the best.

This whole thread has been truly inspirational. LBJ, you have set the highest standard of explaining personal philosophy that I have ever read in real time.

Thank you sir, I hope and pray that you will keep writing, and posting in this thread for a very long time.

Ya know how spouses leave subtle hints around the house, right?

Well, here is my not so subtle hint I received recently.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
Ya know how spouses leave subtle hints around the house, right?

Well, here is my not so subtle hint I received recently.

Weed the flower bed? Trim the bush? Mow the lawn? Fix the fence?

Oh geez, I sure hope I'm not a thread killer here with a lame attempt at some humor. I couldn't forgive myself.

It's all good.

Good deal! How's your appetite these days? Previously, I offered up some fresh Northern Michigan maple syrup, but I think your meds at the time weren't agreeing so much with that flavor. Let me know. Offer still stands!

Additionally, if you have any taste for homemade jam. I'll send along a jar of Thimbleberry Jam. Perfect on a toasted and buttered piece of sourdough bread. The jam is prepared by monks located in Eagle Harbor, MI. Way up in the UP. Again, let me know and it's yours. Good stuff!

http://store.societystjohn.com...21/category=18671484

Yes, my taste is back.
I will take you up on your offer. Thank you.
I will email you my address.

You did not kill the thread, it's just that sometimes writing in a serious way, like in this thread, is harder to do than my light hearted threads like the Ammoholic Anonymous one.
Sometimes the Opdivo gets in the way... chemo brain and all that.
I have been this way for over a week.

Back to ghosts. One time, probably back in about 1978, LBJ came home to Dallas, all the "kids" were there, I have no idea what for, but I was using our old rooms (curtain between) and bathroom. LBJ was using his "new" room, the old guest room. So we were late going somewhere, I'd been in the bathroom, heard the last call, rushed out, turning off all the lights etc. That was one time when he told me about his "ghost" friends, and that they were a bit irritating and messed with him at times, but were harmless. When we got back, my bathroom door was closed and the overhead heater was on. I'd specifically turned it off, and opened the door. I always suspected the ghost that followed him had paid a visit, but it messed with ME, cause that was my bathroom.....I told him about it, he just answered, "yep".